TO THE DIVINE MOTHER
“Follow your soul and not your mind, your soul that answers to the Truth, not your mind that leaps at appearances; trust the Divine Power and she will free the godlike elements in you and shape all into an expression of Divine Nature.”
— Sri Aurobindo, “The Mother”
Faith, it is said, can move mountains. The great and difficult task of raising human nature into the divine can be accomplished only by genuine and living faith.
A flame which flickers at every blast of wind cannot lead us very far. If we do not possess a living faith in our divine possibilities, we shall never rise above our human limitations. A faith which does not enter into every part of our being and does not influence all our life, all our thoughts and activities, a passive, weak and wavering faith is powerless to achieve anything great or glorious.
We must then keep the torch of true and pure faith brightly burning in us at all times. Whenever doubts and misgivings assail us, we must at once recognise them to be movements of falsehood, and sternly reject them. Whenever our flame grows weaker, we must open ourselves to the Divine Mother, who is the eternal source of all fire and light. Doubts and misgivings, desires and attachments to the lower life, egoistic ambitions and selfish narrowness and jealousy are great enemies of progress; we must rise above them and live continually in the pure consciousness of faith, light and devotion. A man becomes what his faith is. Living constantly in sincere faith and pure aspiration, we shall steadily and inevitably grow into the greatness of the divine life.
The transformation of our nature cannot be achieved all at once by a miracle; that would contradict the very law of our evolution as sanctioned and determined by the Divine. We must go through a long and patient course of sadhana and bring out in a progressive self-fulfilment all our divine possibilities.
Old movements persist in us, which were once necessary for our development at a lower stage of life, but now must be wholly rejected, as they constitute a great obstacle to our further progress. They go on mechanically through sheer force of habit, and are supported by our ignorant mind. This tamasic inertia of our nature must be removed by constant seeking after true knowledge. Yoga is a conscious and deliberate process, and we must leave nothing to chance.
And in all our attempts to rise we have the fullest support of the Divine Mother; indeed it is through our evolution that she is fulfilling the will of the Divine Lord. So we need not at all be discouraged by obstacles and difficulties, however great and stupendous they may be. Nothing can stand against the Divine Grace, once it finds true conditions to work in us.
Depression and doubts are our greatest enemies, and they rise the more we allow ourselves to descend to the level of the ordinary consciousness. By a living, ceaseless aspiration we should always look up to the infinite glory of the divine life to which we are destined, and through the Grace of the Mother nothing will be able to resist our onward march.
We do not realise how powerful our will is unless and until we consciously make the best use of it. We allow our will to lie dormant in us, and so live a poor, weak, miserable life.
By the exercise of resolute will we can conquer the strongest temptations, we can find our way out of most difficult situations, patiently bear the worst sufferings, and pass through most trying ordeals. The richest treasures of human life are opened to the man who has a strong, developed will, and who knows how to use it.
And it is the force of will in us which can be used as a lever to exceed and rise above humanity. Before sincere, clear, resolute will, all difficulties and obstacles on the path of the sadhaka disappear, as darkness before the burning torch. When the Buddha willed that, until he obtained the Truth, he would not budge an inch from his seat of sadhana, even if his body dried up and his flesh and bone and skin fell to pieces, at that very moment victory was assured to him. The will that was in the Buddha is waiting to be roused and awakened in every man to lead him triumphantly to his destiny.
This will in us, after all, is a derivative power, a reflection of Thy will in us, О Divine Mother, and this is the secret of its strength; it is here to take us back to Thee. Purified and transformed, when this will of ours will be identified and united with Thy will, it will become irresistible and all-conquering, and will be an effective instrument of Thy manifestation on the earth.
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We allow our will to run in all directions, impelled by desires, obscured by ignorance, torn by passions; hence it becomes weak and ineffective, and our greatest efforts often produce so poor results. We go on groping and stumbling in the world, and are baffled at every step.
To make our will really strong and effective, we have to free it completely from ignorance, egoism and attachments. Nothing can happen in this world unless it is willed by the Divine; and what is willed and decided by the Divine nothing on earth or anywhere can resist. We have to know this divine Will and put our own in harmony with it; then the highest force in the universe will be at our back, and all things, all obstacles will inevitably yield and bend before us.
Instead of blindly dealing with the forces at work, we have to know the central truth of all forces and movements, and exercise our will accordingly; we can get this knowledge and put our will in harmony with the divine Will by freeing our mind from all mechanical thoughts, all pre-conceived ideas and prejudices, and by sincerely opening it to the Truth above.
This union with the Divine is the true skill in work, and it becomes more and more complete and perfect as we grow in surrender and devotion to Thee, Mother Divine.
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We must not give any more indulgence to our lower nature; every time we yield to a lower impulse, we make it more difficult for us to conquer it; every lower suggestion that we reject leads us a step forward. We have a great and difficult task to achieve, we must not increase our difficulties by carelessness or slackness of our will.
In our sadhana, every moment we either gain something or lose something. Every lower movement, however small, insignificant or plausible, that we indulge in, takes us backward and gives a hold, a footing in us to the ever-watchful hostile forces. Even if we do not go lower and remain where we are, that is a loss of time and opportunity, because simply by keeping up our aspiration and silent will for transformation we can make steady progress every moment of our life.
Every victory that we achieve over our lower nature, helps us to know and realise the truth of our being, for in our true nature we are the masters and not the slaves of nature. Every temptation, however small, that we successfully resist strengthens our will, clears our intelligence, gives us true and genuine joy. Circumstances are constantly coming up where we can do or achieve something in the matter of our own transformation. We must always keep ourselves in close and intimate touch with the Divine Mother, so that every moment and with the help of every circumstance that we meet we can take a step forward towards divine life.
“Make your surrender true and complete, then only will all else be done for you.”
— Sri Aurobindo
My soul has taken the firm and irrevocable resolution to surrender myself to Thee, Mother Divine, but still I am far away from the perfection of my surrender.
I get touches and glimpses from Thee which fill me with light and joy; I live under Thy influence which helps me to purify and improve myself; Thou hast created all the conditions where I can calmly watch myself, control myself, turn myself always towards Thee; but my will is weak, my old habits are too strong, and I still allow the old self to have full play in me.
My thoughts and actions still rise from the lower nature; they go on as I take interest in them; I suffer the consequences as I still identify myself with them. Remove this weakness from my will, Mother, let me sternly turn away from the lower play and dedicate my life solely to the expression of Truth. Let me give up all my thought and action to Thee and be calm and pure and free from all care, all responsibility. Thou art the personal embodiment of Truth; in Thy Grace Thou hast created conditions for me where I can easily live a life constantly turned towards Thee; give me also the strength of will, Mother, by which I can make my life a constant, sincere devotion to Thee and to Thee alone.
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My surrender to Thee, Mother, is not a mere fancy or a passing whim. It has come from my inmost soul and shall be made complete and integral.
I know all the parts in me have not yet wholly submitted to Thee; I know they will not all surrender without a struggle; but they will ultimately have to submit and they are now evidently passing through the last phases of the struggle.
I shall always keep myself open to Thee, Mother, so that Thy light may enter into me and show up the recalcitrant parts; I shall again and again sacrifice them to Thee; I shall earnestly support all Thy work in me until my whole realm is made free and brought absolutely under Thy rule.
The arch rebel in me is my ego, which seems to have an everlasting life. With its army of desires, it hides under the cover of my ignorance and inevitably comes back to life as many times as it is apparently killed by Thy force in me. As long as a vestige, even a little seed of it will be left, so long it will revive again and again. Annihilate it completely, Mother, leaving no trace, no seed of it in me; I shall offer it to Thee again and again. Once this conquest is achieved, my soul’s aspiration will be fulfilled, I shall find my highest life by completely merging myself in Thee.
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The requirement of surrender to Thee, Mother, is an indispensable condition of my own real peace and happiness.
Desires of the lower nature are pulling me in all directions, and that is the root of all trouble. My ordinary life is really a life of surrender to these blind hankerings of Nature. Let these utterly cease in me, let me surrender myself wholly to Thee, Mother Divine!
I shall not bother about work, I shall give up all idea of duty and responsibility, but shall allow Thy will to work in me unhampered. I shall not hanker after knowledge, but shall calmly receive whatever light comes from Thee. I shall not run blindly after the limited joys of the world, but shall gratefully accept whatever joy and pleasure comes directly from Thee. Entrusting my whole life into Thy hands, let me be free from all care and anxiety, from all effort and pain.
If one can cease to rely on the poor efforts of the ego and depend wholly on Thee, he can get infinitely more than the ego can ever bring. Yet the physical mind will not believe in the divine possibilities and will obstinately stand in the way of perfect surrender!
Let my silent devotion personally to Thee, Mother, increase more and more so that this obstinacy of the physical mind may melt away and I may surrender myself completely to Thee.
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It is not mere external surrender that is required; it is not sufficient that I cut off all my relations with the external world and depend wholly on Thee for all my worldly needs. That is a preparation, and external symbol of the inner surrender that is required so that the integral transformation may take place.
In my egoistic ignorance and blind habit, I think that unless I form plans with my mind I cannot do any work; that unless I reason and argue with my mind I cannot know anything; so a ceaseless activity goes on in the mind. So the body continues its old artificial movements thinking them to be indispensable for the realisation of ananda.
Now that I see Thee, Mother, assuming the direction and control of my movements from above and the organisation of ananda in me, I shall keep my mind and body passive and silent so that Thou mayest freely use them as Thy instruments. Henceforth, there shall be no initiative from me, no effort to know or to do or to enjoy anything. I entrust to Thee, Mother, all my activities and the whole responsibility for them. I shall only look up to Thee in silent love and devotion so that Thou mayest manifest Thyself in me in Thy own way.
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Those who can wholly depend on Thee, Mother, giving up all personal effort and initiative, Thou takest their entire charge and doest whatever is needful for them in Thy own perfect divine manner. Yet the ignorant human soul hesitates to surrender itself and tenaciously clings to the poor egoistic effort to which it is habituated.
Merely surrendering the external life will not do; the inner determination of every thought and feeling and action must be absolutely given up to Thee. Only then the surrender will be complete and Thou wilt take up the whole life into Thy own being, Thy own consciousness. This surrender is not easy and requires a determined sadhana with great patience and perseverance.
The pure consciousness of the Purusha is within us, it is sustaining all our life, it underlies all our thoughts and feeling and actions, yet we do not see it, do not recognise it, just as a blind man does not feel the existence of the light which covers and pervades him. The thoughts and habits of our lower consciousness constitute our blindness. When we are able to withdraw from the lower consciousness and turn towards the calm, immutable, silent, pure consciousness of the Purusha in us, only then it becomes possible to complete our surrender to Thee, Mother, who art the supreme Divine consciousness containing and pervading everything that is in the universe.
Peace is the foundation on which the edifice of spiritual life is to be built up — peace, deep and unshakable, pervading every part of our being.
A restless soul tom by passions and attachments cannot receive the light from above, cannot have the taste of pure divine joy, and constantly loses balance and self-control. Such a soul pulled in all directions falls an easy prey to the forces of falsehood. We hanker after work, thirst for knowledge, feverishly pursue the transient joys of the senses. We are anxious for gains, afraid of losses, impatient of obstacles and failures. The source of all this restlessness is our ignorant belief that we are the masters of our work, and that our egoistic self-satisfaction and enjoyment is the sole aim and meaning of our life. True peace comes only with the knowledge that it is the Divine who does everything, and that the whole world including ourselves exists solely for the sake of the Divine.
Firmly established in this divine knowledge, we should discard all desires and passions which are the real enemies of peace and spiritual life. We must not allow anything to move us unless it be an impulse from the Divine Mother. Unassailable and unshakable, we should sit tight in the fundamental calmness of our being. Only then will it be possible for the Mother to work in us and raise us to her own life.
* * *
Our life is a series of actions and reactions going on blindly for the satisfaction of the lower needs of nature. Objects and forces constantly act on us from the outside and move our mind and the senses, which rush out to seize them, to possess them and mould them egoistically; hence arise thoughts and actions, passions and emotions, which in their totality form what we know as our human life.
Herein lies our bondage, this capacity of forces acting on us to produce reactions. On account of this, we are at the mercy of the forces of nature which surround us and are ceaselessly acting upon us. If we can withhold ourselves and stop these reactions, if we can receive all touches from the outside absolutely unmoved, then we shall be really free; and it is only in a heart and mind so calm and free from reactions that the joys and the glories of a higher divine life can manifest.
As the sea receives innumerable streams of water into itself without being in the least perturbed by them, so we must receive all touches from the outside without any perturbation, and must not allow anything to draw us out, unless it be an impulse directly from the Divine Mother. And this is possible only by dissociation from the movements of the lower nature, which we should regard as being merely the interaction of natural forces on one another. Practising this dissociation from the lower movements, always seeking our union with the Divine Mother, all perturbations and reactions will cease in us, and a fundamental peace will be established in every part of our being. Only then will the foundation of a higher divine life be truly laid in us.
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Mere retirement or cessation of work does not bring real peace; as long as the mind and the life and the body continue to submit passively to external influences, there is no real surrender, and we cannot expect their transformation.
There is still much inertia and obscurity in my mind. It constantly opens itself to all sorts of ideas and suggestions from the outside, and mechanically moves round and round about them. These restless, senseless movements obstruct the descent of the Truth on the one hand, and open the being to all sorts of hostile forces on the other.
So the vital and the physical are still passive and ignorant; excited by the slightest impact from the outside, they tend helplessly to start on their old blind movements. All these parts have to be roused, illumined, and made alert; with a silent but resolute exercise of the will, their outward and downward course has to be withheld, and they are to be turned again and again towards the immobile peace and silence of the inner self; then and only then can real peace descend on every part of the being.
Firmly established in this peace, we have to continually surrender ourselves to Thee, Mother, and ceaselessly aspire to the higher life. Only under these conditions will the Divine Grace act and victoriously bring about our transformation.
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To preserve peace and equanimity under all circumstances and at every moment of our life, that is an essential condition of our progress. Light and power and joy will manifest only on a solid foundation of all-pervading peace.
And peace is the real truth of our being, all perturbation and restlessness being only a movement of falsehood, a perversion of our true nature. Our true self is eternal and immutable; it wants nothing, desires nothing, is full and complete in itself, enjoying its own delight of existence; unmoved and immobile, it supports all the movements in the universe. It is the ego in us, our lower self, that is at the mercy of every passing current in life, drifting helplessly, moved and tossed by every wave. We must free ourselves from this ego and stand on the immutable peace of our true self — that is the first essential condition of a higher divine life.
Established in this peace, firmly refusing to be moved by anything that may come to us or happen to us, we must always look up to Thee, Mother, to manifest our true nature. When Thou hast willed to uplift us, to give us divine life, what fear, what anxiety need we have? With complete surrender to Thee, Mother, let us calmly await our self-fulfilment through Thy divine will and Thy all conquering Grace.
Aspiration is our only tapasya, aspiration is the only fire we are to keep burning in our heart at all times and under all circumstances. We need light no other fire, we need no other askesis or austerity.
If difficulties insurmountable obstruct us on the path, if the forces of falsehood surround us and lure us with dangerous fascination, we have only to tend our heart’s fire assiduously, and all obstacles will vanish, all hostile forces, however powerful, will be conquered.
If we fall even to the lowest depths and all hope seem to disappear, if there be no one to help us, cheer us, guide us, if we lose all and be forsaken by all, yet if we can continue our aspiration ceaselessly, sincerely, help will surely come from above and we shall be raised even from the lowest depths.
If depression and inertia overtake us and we cannot make any progress, if darkness beset us on all sides and we cannot see our way, yet if we can keep our aspiration alive and earnestly look up to the divine Power above, fresh vigour and enthusiasm will soon be infused into us, and we shall clearly see the path before us.
Aspiration will awaken what is best in us, aspiration will gather up all our energies and turn them upward, all dissensions and conflicts in our nature will be merged in a single purpose and devotion, and in response will come from above Grace and divine Love. Aspiration will bring us Love and Love will lead us to victory.
* * *
Let me be like a flame always burning upward to Thee, Mother, let all my soul be consumed in love to Thee; it is thus that I shall have a new birth in Thy divine life.
Thoughts and ideas continually seek to enter into my mind from the outside and disturb the flame of my aspiration; bless me, Mother, so that I may resolutely throw away all such disturbing thoughts and keep my mind absolutely pure and clear.
Desires and attachments from the vital world always seek to obscure and extinguish my flame; bless me, Mother, so that I may persistently reject all such low desires and keep my heart absolutely clear and pure.
All sorts of attacks are made on my body in order to weaken the flame of my aspiration; bless me, Mother, so that I may defy all such attempts and keep my body hale and hearty for worshipping Thee.
Let unbounded faith feed my flame and immutable calm and peace prevail all over my being. With Thy blessings, Divine Mother, I shall steadily grow into the divine life.
* * *
My inner being has left the old world behind and has discarded the old ways of life; but in my outer nature interest in the old life still lingers; and thus recur again and again in me old thoughts and desires. How can I completely get rid of them unless Thou, Mother, take possession of me and completely fill me with Thyself?
As soon as old thoughts and ideas enter into my mind, I shall aspire towards Thee, Mother, and Thou wilt have to fill my mind with the light of Thy truth.
As soon as desires and passions rise in me, Mother, I shall aspire towards Thee, and Thou wilt have to fill my heart with Thy unsurpassable sweetness and delight.
As soon as false and perverted movements appear in me, Mother, I shall aspire towards Thee, and Thou wilt have to fill my life with Thy harmony and grace.
In all my imperfections and ignorance, I shall continually look up to Thee, Mother, hoping and aspiring that a day will soon come when Thou wilt take entire possession of myself and make me divine.
I am my own worst enemy, Mother; no one can help me unless I help myself. Thy Grace is always there to respond to a sincere and earnest call; it can work wonders in us, but it will not act unless the full support of our own will be forthcoming.
Hostile forces lie in wait all around us; the more they are rejected the more insistent they become; driven from the front door they seek to enter by the back; they know only too well all our defects and points of weakness and are always prompt to take advantage of them; they come in all guises and with all gifts and promises acceptable to us. They can overtake the most vigilant, and one can never be wholly safe from their attack, unless and until he is fully changed and transformed.
But they cannot hide their falsehood before sincere seeking and aspiration; they cannot bear the light of truth; they cannot stand before resolute will. The divine Grace is always there to protect those who sincerely seek its protection.
Thou knowest fully all my defects and weaknesses, Mother; I have taken my absolute refuge in Thee; if Thou do not bear with me in patience and save me from my own ignorance and weakness, to whom shall I turn? Save Thy child, Mother, give me more light, give more strength to my will, support me with Thy Grace while I sincerely try to keep my temple clean and pure for Thy abiding presence.
* * *
We ourselves cannot change our nature and rise to the divine life. We keep in check the lower movements in us; we can replace one movement by another, but we cannot annihilate nor effectively transform them. Only the power of the Divine descending from above can effect the transformation.
The Divine is always pressing on us from above and urging us from below; but until we can consciously and voluntarily surrender ourselves to it, it cannot take up the work of transformation in us. On the one hand, our physical nature does not believe in higher possibilities and it obstinately resists all attempts at change and transformation; on the other hand, the forces of falsehood and darkness easily find an opening in us and keep us under their sway. Thus, the divine power cannot work in us and we seem to be hopelessly involved in the lower life.
But once we have the will to be transformed, at once the Divine finds a chance in us. We cannot ourselves change the nature of the different parts of our being, but we can make them consent to be changed and submit to the working of the divine power. We cannot ourselves conquer the hostile forces, but we can resolutely refuse to invite them or tolerate them; we cannot remove our darkness, but we can call the divine light to illumine us; we cannot raise ourselves, but we can constantly, sincerely aspire to rise. When we shall fulfil these conditions, the highest Divine Grace will descend and conquering all our defects and obstacles will raise us to the life divine.
To live according to the truth of our being is our sadhana. All our life is an attempt to express that truth, but ordinarily it is a blind and groping attempt which constantly leads to perversion and falsehood. Consciously to know the truth and realise that in our life — that is Yoga.
We have to change and mould our body, our life, our mind so as to make them plastic instruments, perfect vehicles of the truth; but the beliefs and habits ingrained in them are the greatest obstacles to such a change. The body does not believe that the laws known to it and followed by it can ever be changed or altered, and it is the same with the vital and the mental parts — nowhere is there the light of true consciousness, the belief in higher divine possibilities; our movements go on eternally in a blind, groping, mechanical series.
The first essential thing is to hold fast to the faith in our divine possibilities in every part of our being, the faith that our whole nature can be and has to be completely changed and transformed. Established firmly in this faith, freeing ourselves from all ignorant notions of impossibility, we should open every part of our being to the Divine Mother and ceaselessly and sincerely aspire to the higher divine life. Only under these conditions will the truth manifest in us and mould us into its own nature.
* * *
Let me merge my personality completely in Thee, Mother, so that no trace of the old life may be left in me. Only thus I shall realise the truth of my being, for my identification with Thee is the real truth, and my separation from Thee is a falsehood, which is the root of all misery and trouble.
In seeking this reunion with Thee, Mother, it is not sufficient that we physically touch Thy feet or occasionally sit in meditation; we must give up all preoccupations and associate with Thee in all Thy work, in all Thy movements. Our life is still full of old ideas and thoughts, of old interests and associations, of old habits and tendencies, and these constitute a great obstacle to our union with Thee, Mother. We must turn away from these and identify ourselves with the great work Thou art accomplishing, the work of manifesting the supramental Truth on the earth; we should turn all our attention to the creation of conditions favourable to this manifestation and to the removal of all obstacles.
And in all our thoughts and feelings and works, we should seek direct inner touch and inspiration from Thee, Mother. Thus united with Thee within ourselves, as the source of all light and strength and joy, and united with Thee outside in the great work Thou hast undertaken, we shall complete our identification with Thee, Mother, and really become a part and parcel of Thy own divine self.
* * *
Yoga is not merely thinking of Thee, Mother, with the mind, or bowing the head at Thy feet; these are certainly great aids and starting-points, but in themselves they cannot take us very far. We must fill our whole being with Thy living presence, we must constantly live in active and integral union with Thee — that will be Yoga in the real sense of the term.
There is no movement in us, conscious or unconscious, voluntary or involuntary, that has not some support, even conscious support in some part of our being. We must constantly seek Thy light, vigilantly find out the false movements in us, resolutely withdraw all our support from them and sincerely call in Thy force to throw them away — that will be a real process of Yogic sadhana.
Then we must know Thy will in the world and sincerely devote ourselves to Thy service, always seeking inspiration and guidance from Thyself. We must keep ourselves full of the purest joy that rises from sincere love and devotion to Thee; the gods will come down from above to taste that divine joy in us and help us to grow in divine life — that is the process of Yoga which will surely give us the highest siddhi.
Ours is a great cause, Mother, we are the fighters in a divine fight, and Thou hast come down to lead us to victory.
Over humanity now rule the forces of darkness and falsehood. In vain search of light and power and joy, men move round and round eternally and keep the divine in them in perpetual bondage. Our fight is to free the involved divine, to lead the way to the highest fulfilment of humanity. We shall subdue the hostile forces, we shall establish the rule of light on earth, we shall fulfil the will of God in humanity. Ours is a divine fight, Mother, and Thou art our divine leader.
Thou hast assumed the limitations of humanity in order to show the way to overcome them; we are Thy chosen soldiers; the gods have come down to help us in response to Thy call. Faith is our shield, obedience to Thee our discipline, aspiration the force that leads us on. We see the goal before us, the Kingdom of Heaven is within our reach. Victoriously led by Thee, fully supported by the sanction and the will of the Supreme Divine, we shall overcome all obstacles and open the gates of divine light and power and joy to all mankind.
Ours is not to forsake life, but to seek its true fulfilment. We want to escape from the falsehood and misery of the lower life so that we may realise our highest possibilities.
We must have the eye to see that all movements in life are movements in the Universal, and that there is a truth, a meaning behind every movement, and that each in its essence is a movement of light and power and joy. Through our egoism and ignorance these movements are distorted and deformed in us, and we live a life of falsehood and imperfection.
Individual beings are only fields or vehicles where the universal movements manifest themselves according to the nature of the field or the vehicle. We must be able to detach ourselves from these movements, observe them as they are and discriminate the truth from the falsehood that is in them. Persistent rejection of the false and the acceptance of the true are the essential conditions of our highest self- realisation.
Thou embodiest in Thyself, Mother, all the true movements in life; by taking our absolute refuge in Thee, we shall find out our true life. By Thy light we shall know the true from the false; by the aid of Thy will we shall persistently reject the falsehood. Thou wilt establish us in the true movements of light and power and joy. Ours is not to forsake life but to seek its highest fulfilment in and through Thee, Mother Divine.
The true test of our aspiration is that we must dissociate ourselves completely from the ordinary ways and modes of mankind; we must not look with a longing on the life we have consciously and deliberately left behind.
Men run wildly after transient joys and find an intense interest in the feverish pursuit of sense-desires; these little, imperfect, conditional satisfactions are not for us; we are to look forward to the infinite and absolute delight of the Spirit in itself. Bound to their egoism, men are tom by the greed of possession, by ambition, jealousy, rivalry, vanity, arrogance; they live in constant conflict and discord; this poor, miserable life is not for us; we look up to the higher life in the unity and harmony of the all-pervading, all-embracing Divine.
Men work blind, restless, aimless like the rocking, thundering waves in the sea, impelled by the hidden forces of their own desires; moving round their own ego, ignorantly they think that they are making progress; this is a sheer waste of time and energy from our point of view. We should seek the perfect skill in work in complete union with the Divine Mother.
Men are satisfied with limited power, limited joy, limited light, limited life. We seek immortality and infinite power and joy; we aspire to be identified with the Truth and to make it the very stuff of our life. We seek to exceed humanity and become supermen; we must resolutely turn our back on the ways and modes of mortal life on earth.
Our path is so simple, yet so difficult! We have only to leave ourselves entirely in Thy hands, Mother Divine, and everything else will be done for us; but against this simple act of surrender the whole of our nature and the whole world seem to stand, and we have to win every inch of ground by stern, resolute, courageous fight and struggle.
Yet everywhere the principle is the same; whenever there is any obstacle, any difficulty, any imperfection in our being, we have simply to surrender it to Thee and wait with patient hope and aspiration. And this is so natural, so in harmony with the true nature of things! Our mind and life and body are living in falsehood and perversion, and their highest perfection lies in identification with Thee. Only it is ignorance and lack of faith and inertia which make them refuse or revolt. Once the faith in divine life is born and the will to attain it, the rest becomes simple and easy.
With even a little of this faith and surrender, the obstacles begin to disappear. With surrender comes peace, comes joy, comes hope. Growing in joyful surrender, we grow in devotion to Thee, Mother, and the greater the sincerity of devotion, the nearer we approach the light, the joy, the power, the peace of Thy divine consciousness, and we become more and more one and integrally identified with Thee. And it is so easy, so natural, so intensely joyful to be devoted to Thee, Mother Divine! Our path is simple and all difficulties and obstacles, however great and powerful, inevitably disappear before simple, sincere, earnest devotion.
* * *
Our life is to be guided not by any human standard, but by the divine. It is not sufficient that we fulfil what can be expected from men; we must pass through the tests applicable to the gods.
The limited and mixed pleasures after which human beings strive are not for us; we aspire after the taste of immortal joy. The little conquests attained by great struggle and effort are not for us; our aim is to make the world forces yield to our will. The imperfect knowledge, full of ignorance and falsehood, attained by the reason and the understanding, is not for us; we seek the light which, blazing like the sun from within, will dispel all our darkness.
Nothing mean, nothing impure, nothing undivine is to be tolerated by us. We must rise above the human passions, above the little joys and sorrows which disturb men, above the small pursuits which keep human beings occupied. What is impossible to achieve for a mortal man shall be achieved in us through the divine Grace. We must always aspire to follow not the human standard but the divine.
And that divine standard is Thy own Self, Mother, Thou art our ideal and our guide. To know Thy will in every detail and to follow it under all circumstances, that is the standard we have accepted for our life.
* * *
My sole aspiration, Mother, is to make myself a perfect vehicle for the manifestation of the Truth, and to make my life a real extension of Thy divine life. Everything that I call “me” and “mine” shall be replaced by “Thee” and “Thine”; all the conditions for the higher divine life shall be fully and strictly fulfilled, that is my sole work, my sole sadhana.
My thoughts and feelings and willings, going on in their old way, keep me bound to the lower life of ignorance and falsehood; all these have to be thrown away entirely and replaced by the reflections of Thy thoughts, feelings and willings, — that is the way to the realisation of the life divine. Thou hast placed Thyself before us as the embodiment of the Truth, as the ideal to be attained by us. It is by making ourselves perfectly plastic and responsive to Thy touch and influence that we shall conquer all our human limitations.
We now depend on the mind for our light and guidance, hence we grope and stumble. Let us free our mind from all thoughts and desires, all prejudices and attachments, and keep it always open and turned towards Thee, so that Thou mayest intuitivise and transform it. We must make our mind worthy of reliance, before we rely on it. With a mind pure and transformed, we shall steadily follow the light and rise to the life divine which Thou hast held before us as our ultimate goal.
* * *
Thou hast clearly shown the path to us, Mother, we have only to follow it up; Thou wilt guide us at every step, help us in all our difficulties, support us with Thy infinite love and grace; we have only to turn towards Thee with all our heart and soul.
Thou dost not require anything from us which is beyond our power to give; Thou dost not give us any work which we cannot carry out; we have only to make the best use of our light and power, we have to fulfil the part assigned to us; whatever else is necessary, Thou wilt do for us.
But our efforts must be sincere, persistent, and determined. We must not allow inertia or lethargy to overtake us; we must not allow falsehood to mix up with our aspiration. We must watch every thought or desire that may rise in us, and constantly open ourselves to Thee, Mother. We must not leave anything to chance, but consciously and ceaselessly strive to fulfil all the conditions of our transformation in their minutest detail.
Thou hast made our task perfectly clear to us; but it is a great and difficult task, and it is only by devoting all our heart and soul to it that we can ever hope to achieve it.
* * *
It is not that our sadhana will bear fruit only in some distant date in the future; it is fulfilling itself every moment and is a course of progressive self-realisation. Even a little of it delivers us from great sorrow and sin; every step brings new joy, new life.
Our very resolution to turn away from the lower things in life and to realise the Divine, brings forth all that is best in us. By holding firmly to our faith, we are delivered from the torments of doubt and uncertainty. By aspiration we easily conquer the forces which would pull us down. By giving up desires we strike at the root of all misery and sin. By getting rid of egoism we rise above the conflicts of the world and realise the unity and harmony of the higher life. By surrender to Thee, Mother, we are relieved from the great burden of life, and taste true freedom and peace. Sincere self-giving and devotion to Thee, Mother, brings such a joy as has no parallel in the lower life of the senses.
The more we advance in sadhana, the more we grow in purity and peace, in light and harmony, in power and joy; every step we take brings its own reward; even a little of it delivers us from great sorrow and sin. Thus, we advance to the glories of the divine life.
Difficulties and Obstacles
All difficulties and obstacles can be so used as to be of great help to us in our sadhana. We are tested by difficulties, they point out the defects and imperfections in us; they rouse us from the inert passivity and lethargy into which we are constantly apt to fall; they exercise and strengthen the powers of self-conquest in us.
If our work brings failure or disaster on us, we have only to thank ourselves; for the Divine Mother is always there to help us, to guide us, and it is entirely our own fault if we turn away from her and obey our egoistic whims and desires.
If we suffer from doubts and misgivings, we can be sure that there are still obscure and dark corners in us, where the divine light has not been brought in, and we should open these more and more to the Divine Mother.
If we ever feel dull or dry, if sorrow or misery overtake us, we can be sure that there are still parts in us which hanker after the lower joys of life, and thus, cut us off from the perennial stream of ananda that is flowing all around us.
Thus, our difficulties and obstacles are our great aids; they can always be utilised as stepping stones in our upward march, and they are often intended to be such by our Divine Friend and Guide, by the kind and graceful Mother.
* * *
One of the first things necessary in our sadhana is that we must have absolutely no anxiety, no fear. Thou hast decided to give us a higher life, Mother; there is nothing which can stand against Thy will.
Very little we know of Thy powers, Mother; very little of Thyself Thou hast shown to us. But the little that has been revealed to us has filled our heart with wonder, gratitude, and unassailable faith and hope. Whatever be the dangers and difficulties that may come upon us, we are always assured of Thy divine protection. Whatever be the trials and failures through which we may have to pass, we know that they will only help us to go forward. Thou hast given us sufficient light to know our path; Thou hast given us a taste of Thy divine love, which will sustain us in our onward march, however difficult and strenuous it may be.
Our progress is limited only by our defect in faith and reliance on Thee. The more I succeed in emptying myself of all thoughts and desires, the more Thou fillest me with Thy own self; the more I give up my own initiative and efforts, the more Thou takest up all my work in Thy own way. We need have absolutely no anxiety, no fear; we have only to perfect our faith and reliance on Thee, Mother.
* * *
Through the touch of Thy grace, Mother, difficulties turn into opportunities, and the very obstacles and defects in our nature turn into aids and virtues.
The inertia of our nature is a great obstacle to our progress; but by sincere aspiration this inertia is turned into deep peace and firmness, established in which we can remain undisturbed by all events and circumstances in life, and can refuse to be moved by anything else but a direct impulse from Thyself.
The hankering in our nature for activity and struggle is a great obstacle to our progress; but by the touch of Thy grace, it turns into strength of will and alertness and a determination to conquer absolutely all defects, all falsehood in our nature.
The movements of our thought and reasoning are a great obstacle to our progress and hide the Truth from us; but when dedicated to Thy service, they serve as a test, as a solvent which will continually help us to distinguish between truth and falsehood.
Thus, if we can sincerely dedicate all our powers and activities to Thy service and turn our whole being towards Thyself, Mother, all our defects will turn into virtues, all obstacles into aids.
It is through small acts and little details that the true nature of a man is revealed. When conscious that other people will know and judge, men take particular care to hide their defects. When roused by the seriousness or the importance of the occasion, men often show powers and virtues which are not at all characteristic of them. But in the small things of life, unknown and unnoticed by others, men allow their nature to have its own way.
We negligently do small acts which are not of much importance to us; we carelessly omit to know details which seem to be insignificant; we easily yield to temptations which, we think, cannot lead to any serious consequences. But it is these small things, apparently unimportant and insignificant, that ultimately determine our life. It is through these little lapses that the evil forces find a strong hold in us and gradually overtake our whole nature. Those who will not take care of the smallest details in life, can never hope to reach perfection.
It is not sufficient that in our inmost being we have an aspiration for the divine life; the superficial, the outermost parts also must aspire after perfection. We must remember, Mother, that Thou art always wide awake and art observing the minutest detail in our conduct. We must turn to Thee and seek Thy aid even in the smallest and the most insignificant matters of our life; only then can we hope to have our nature completely changed and transformed.
The manner in which we waste our time and energy is astounding. Every moment of our life, every particle of our energy can be harnessed to the cause of the Divine and can advance us towards the divine life.
We have only to keep up a ceaseless flame of aspiration and earnest call; but through our lethargy and ignorance we constantly allow this flame to be obscured by idle, senseless thoughts and desires, which lead us nowhere, but continually involve us in worry and anxiety and darkness. Turning away from the perennial stream of nectar and sweetness that is flowing before us, we continually drink from the dirty poisoned pool of the lower life. Such is our ignorance, our foolishness; such is the inertia and incompetence of our will.
Then, the opportunities Thou hast created for us here, Mother, are so potent, so helpful! Yet through sheer ignorance and inertia we fail to take full advantage of them, though always complaining that we are not making any progress. All this is such a foolish waste.
But the saving grace is that in spite of all our foolishness and incompetence and lethargy, we have been allowed to live under Thy direct influence, inside Thy own divine atmosphere. So there is hope that some day we shall make our surrender perfect, our aspiration ceaseless and pure.
One who has not controlled his own self and has not conquered his own defects, cannot expect to conquer and control the forces of the world. It is by practising self-conquest that we learn how to conquer the world.
As long as we have not removed our imperfections and transformed our instruments, our work in the world is bound to be full of mistakes and failures. The intuitions we receive from above will be confused by the wanderings of our mind; the impulses we receive from Thy will, Mother, will be distorted by our egoistic desires and attachments; and though Thy divine force descends into us, through our own obstruction and rigidity it may lead to disasters instead of victory. So we must not meddle with the affairs of the world, until by practice and discipline we have made ourselves free, pure and plastic instruments of the divine will; we must confine ourselves only to such work under Thy direct guidance, Mother, as will serve to mould and transform us.
Before we venture to work upon the world, we have plenty of work and more to do within ourselves. We can easily recognise the false and lower movements in us, and can constantly invoke Thy will and force and light, Mother, in order to correct and transform them. It is thus that we can practise our union with Thee and steadily turn ourselves into perfect instruments in Thy hands for the victorious performance of Thy will in the world. It is by practising self-control under Thy guidance and help, Mother, that we learn how to conquer the world.
It is by obedience to Thee, Mother, that we hope to discipline our lower nature. By resolving to obey Thee instead of our desires and attachments, we really start on the path to a higher divine life.
Desires and passions hold a tyrannical sway over us, and it seems well-nigh impossible to subdue or control them by our unaided will. But the consciousness that we are obeying the Mother gives us great strength, and we can easily conquer them supported by her will and her force. We must constantly seek to know her will and obey it; there is no other way of getting out of our bondage.
A forced obedience, an obedience from hope of gain or reward, or from fear of loss or punishment, is of little use. We must consciously and willingly offer our obedience to Thee, Mother, knowing Thee to be our higher self, and with the faith that only by obedience to Thee we shall rise to the divine life. And our obedience must be enthusiastic and joyful, an expression of our love and devotion to Thee as the Divine Mother. By a free and willing and joyful obedience to Thee, Mother, a harmony will be gradually established between Thy will and ours; all our desires and passions will be controlled and vanquished; no impulse will rise in us unless it be directly from Thee. Thus, we shall grow into Thy own self, and our obedience will be ultimately merged in a blissful harmony and identification with Thee.
The Power of Words
Words have a great creative power. When spoken in sincere faith and aspiration, they never go in vain. The words we speak to Thee, Mother Divine, in prayer, act as a great power for our inner transformation.
We do not realise the great power that is in words, and in our ignorant recklessness allow them to be wasted and abused; we thus dissipate their force and bring trouble on others as well as on ourselves. In order to organise our life, it is essentially necessary that we should first be able to control and regulate our speech.
Words are the symbols of all our outward expressions and activities; words give concrete form to our thoughts and sentiments; spoken in the silence of our heart, words exercise an immense influence upon the lives of ourselves as well as of others. If we can learn the right use of words, we shall learn the right use of life.
Give this right use of words and speech to me, Mother. Let not a single idle or unnecessary word pass out of my mouth; let me not utter anything impure or false even in the silence of my heart; let all my words be pure and true, let all my speech be wholly dedicated to Thy praise and Thy service.
When my words and speech, thus controlled and purified, will be used directly by Thee, Mother Divine, as Thy instrument, as a vehicle for the expression of Thy will, only then the creative power of words will be fully realised in me.
Wonderful are the ways of divine help and guidance, Mother, never failing, never asking for anything in return, with infinite patiencealways ready to forgive and uplift.
When we think that we have lost all, actually we gain all; when we think that we have made ourselves utterly helpless, we find the greatest possible help; when we give up all our old props and supports in response to the divine call, we find the Divine coming forward to hold and support us. Never will one have to suffer by following the Divine in life.
Often the path lies through thorns, but they are of our own making. We have formed and bound ourselves in such a manner that the divine Will cannot work in us for our good without breaking those forms and tearing asunder those bonds. The Divine opposes and baffles us only when we would go downward. And when we can place our entire reliance on the Divine, the shock and the pain becomes the least and soon turns into an ingredient of intense joy. Those who sincerely follow the Divine can have no real suffering in life.
Wonderful is the manner in which Thou art shaping us into divinity, Mother, with infinite love and power and wisdom. The little that we can know and appreciate of Thy ways with us makes us full of wonder and gratitude and firmly establishes us in faith and surrender and aspiration.
* * *
I have no excuse, Mother, to go against Thy will. With reference to me Thou canst have no will, no command which is beyond my knowledge to see or beyond my power to follow. Thy will is always on the side of the right, the good, the true, and the beautiful; I can always know it if I keep myself open and alert, and can always follow it if I seek the aid of Thy force. Any conflict that arises in me against Thy will, however small or insignificant, shows the defect of my surrender and the perversion of my ego.
I have no excuse to be fidgety or restless. There is no situation in life out of which there is no way. I have only to wait in silence, and everything will be done for me at the right moment and in the right way. If I do not do this, that only shows the defect of my faith and the dependence on my ego.
I have no excuse to allow any lower movement to continue in me. I have only to dissociate myself from it and offer it to Thee, and it will inevitably be conquered and controlled. If I do not do this, that only shows the defect of my aspiration and the continued attachment to my lower life.
Thou art always there with outstretched hands, ever ready to help me, to protect me, to embrace me in Thy infinite love. If I do not turn towards Thee, that is solely my own weakness, my own fault. Yet Thou dost never forsake me, Mother, such is Thy grace and love; and therein lies my hope of salvation.
Everything will be done for us by the Mother, if only we can keep the true and right attitude.
All our attention is now turned towards the thoughts and feelings and works that go on in us; we regard them as our own, as essential parts of ourselves; we remain absorbed in them and think that our life will become dry and empty without them. But in truth, they are the movements of the lower nature carried on in her blind and groping fashion; they are imperfect and perverted expressions of our higher nature, and it is only in this higher nature that we can find our true life.
We think that if we turn away from these lower movements we shall cease to be, but the truth is that by such dissociation the lower play will cease, making room for the higher. It is always nature which works in us, though we ignorantly regard ourselves as the doer; we have only to replace the lower play of nature by the higher by dissociating from the one and aspiring for the other.
It is sheer ignorance to think that if our mind becomes still and does not enter into the lower play, all our life will cease to be. As we keep our mind constantly engaged in the lower movements, the higher truth cannot manifest in us. We must turn away our mind from everything else and keep it constantly fixed on Thee, divine Mother; thus will it become calm and pure, and using it as a free channel or instrument, Thou wilt bring about our transformation.
* * *
Every bondage to the lower life that I cut asunder, every attachment, however small, that I renounce gives me such a relief, such a sense of freedom and joy! And the consciousness of the persisting bonds makes me so miserable!
It is good, Mother, that all my latent weaknesses and defects should be thus brought out and placed before Thee; as Thy light falls on them, they will be corrected and transformed. It is not really a divided life that I am living, my whole life is forming round Thyself; nothing else can have any real allegiance from me. The old movements that still persist, besides those purely mechanical, are suffered to have their play on account of their supposed insignificance, or they come in plausible disguises as being sanctioned or originated by Thee. With more light, more alertness, they are bound to disappear leaving Thy sway absolute in me.
My allegiance to Thee, Mother, rises spontaneously from the depths of my being, and it has given me the taste of the truest love and joy. I am weak, ignorant and impure, but I have dared to love Thee with all my heart and soul, and therein lies my hope. In Thy grace Thou wilt correct all my defects, raise me out of human manners and impurities and make me worthy of Thy divine love and affection. With all my faults I entrust myself entirely into Thy hands, Mother.
Secret of Work
I was a passionate lover of work, Mother, and thought that I was a great worker. Work for the sake of work, the greatest amount of work, was regarded by me as the greatest good, and I always sought opportunities where I would find the greatest scope for my energy and activity.
I did not know then that I was labouring under a great delusion, that what I regarded as my work was not really mine, but Nature’s play in me; that when I regarded myself as being most active, I was really a helpless tool in the hands of the forces of Nature. In ignorance, I identified myself with these activities of Nature in me, I took an absorbing interest in the results, thinking them to be my own, and so the play went on indefinitely, and I lived the life of an enchanted slave.
At last, in Thy Grace, Thou hast opened my eyes, Mother, and shown me the true way of escape, and given me the taste of true liberty. Still the attachment is not wholly gone, still I lose myself in the mechanical play of Nature. Even when Thou workest through me, Mother, I think that it is the work of my ego, and I judge the results from the egoistic standpoint.
Remove this egoism and attachment completely from me, Mother, let me dissociate myself completely from the lower nature. I shall be really a free agent and a great worker only when my identification with Thee becomes complete.
* * *
Whatever we may do, great or small, can be done in a perfect manner; there is a right way of doing everything. But in our egoistic ignorance we do things most clumsily; we grope and stumble and seem to arrive at success merely by chance.
We are open to all sorts of forces, which continually pull us in all directions. Our mind is ever restless, and cannot remain fixed to anything for a long time. Our body is bound by fixed habits and instincts, and does not allow a free movement. We rely on our own power, we think that the results solely depend on our own exertions; we seek the satisfactions of our personal ends and desires, we are agitated by egoistic passions and emotions; we are impatient, fidgety, restless, sometimes excited, sometimes depressed, often indifferent. It is no wonder that our greatest efforts produce such mean results, and our works leave behind such unpleasant reactions and bondage.
The secret is to rise above the ego and to work always for Thee, Mother, with the aid of Thy force and Thy will. We must leave the consequences entirely in Thy hands. We must see only what we have to do and do it with all our heart and soul. Working, thus, always in union with Thee, and for Thy sake, keeping our heart full of Thee, Mother, we can never go wrong, can never come to grief. At last a time will come when Thou wilt take up all our work, and directly use us as the instrument of Thy Will. Only then will all our work be perfect and divine.
* * *
Work is a great force through which we can establish our union with Thee, Mother; there is nothing wrong in work itself; it is the false attitude behind our work and our ignorant handling of it that makes work a bondage.
We act for personal gains and ignorantly think that the results of our actions depend on our personal efforts, and that our life, our very existence depends on such work. Hence we are perturbed by hope and fear, we are disturbed by success and failure; and work done in this restless, ignorant, egoistic way becomes most imperfect and stumbling, and inevitably by its reactions forges the chains, which keep us bound to the lower life. Egoistic desires and personal motives have a validity only in the lowest scale in life. When we want to rise and fulfil the true mission of our life, they become great obstacles, and hide the Truth from us.
It is ignorance to think that, unless we act from egoistic motives, there can be no action. Everyone has a mission to fulfil in life, a divine mission, and the impulse we feel for work rises from this fundamental need of our nature. If we can free ourselves from the perturbations of the lower nature, our higher nature will spontaneously express itself in the right work in the right way. Instead of wasting ourselves in blind, useless efforts, we should calmly aspire to know the work which Thou demandest from us, Mother, and do it with all our heart and soul. Through such impersonal and dedicated work, we shall gradually realise our union and identity with Thee.
* * *
Work is of value to us as a part of our sadhana only when it serves to bring us closer to Thee, Mother; otherwise, it is an obstacle, a waste of time and energy, a mere concession to the ignorant hankering of our vital nature.
As long as we are attached to our work, and feel interested in the egoistic play of our energies, it keeps us hopelessly bound to the lower life, and obscures the Divine from our view. But if it can be turned to the service of the Divine, at once it ceases to be a bondage, and becomes itself a great force of liberation.
As work is an inevitable necessity of our nature, we should use it for our uplift by making it more and more selfless and devoted to the service of the Mother. Thus purified, we begin to get the direct touch of the Mother, to hear her voice within us, to receive direct guidance and inspiration from her; work, then, becomes a great joy and a great force of transformation.
Gradually, we shall feel that we are only instruments in the hands of the divine Mother, mere channels for her manifestation in the world. In our work, we shall see the play of her forces; instead of being ignorantly attached to our work, we shall through it be attached to the Mother. Our work will make our devotion more deep; our devotion will make our work more perfect and joyous; thus, through devoted work and active devotion, we shall grow in light and power and joy, and ultimately become one with the consciousness of the Divine Mother.
* * *
We think that unless we act constantly with the mind, all our actions will cease and our whole life will be disorganised. This is an ignorance which we must get rid of before we can make any progress towards a higher life.
As a matter of fact our mind is only used as an instrument in the hands of Nature for her own ends. The simple activities of the body are carried on instinctively and automatically, and the mind only creates confusion, when it interferes with its thoughts, prejudices and beliefs. The body has a consciousness of its own, and if left to itself can carry on its activities perfectly within certain limits. The mind is used for more complex actions; but here also it proceeds in a halting and imperfect manner. Our work will be perfect when we shall rise above these lower activities of Nature and give up all our work to be directly initiated and guided from above by the supramental power. The body must be made more and more conscious and open, so that it may receive impulses from above and carry them out, the mind only serving as a free and open channel of communication.
So we must make our body and mind calm and free, open them to the Truth and allow the Truth to use them as plastic instruments; only then will our work be perfect, will be an expression of the divine will in and through us.
The Mechanism of Lower Nature
As long as I lived the life of ignorance, the mechanism of egoism and desire was necessary for my self-development. But now that I am being taken up into the light of Thy consciousness, Mother, that mechanism is absolutely unnecessary; it is, on the other hand, a great obstacle and must disappear.
Let me no more act from attachment or desire or blind instinct, but respond only to impulses coming directly from Thee; let me not seek to satisfy the ego, but offer all my life and action as a sacred sacrifice to the supreme Divine. Let me not seek light and power for my own sake, in my own limited way, but offer my whole being and self to Thee to be used absolutely for Thy purpose in Thy own perfect and divine manner.
But the old mechanism of the lower Nature is so persistent! The physical mind with its crude light, most limited and ignorant, would not believe in divine possibilities; it persistently interferes and creates confusion. The impure vital cannot show up itself in the full light of Thy presence, but hiding its desires in dark corners seems to bide its time. The mind eagerly receives whatever light it can from Thee and seeks to use it in its own way for its own purpose.
I cannot escape from the bonds of this terrible mechanism unless Thou, in Thy Grace, lift me and take up my whole life into Thy divine being and consciousness.
Realization and It’s Methods
The mechanical thoughts that play in my mind do no more belong to me than the roaring of the sea. Both are movements in the Universal, both enter into my consciousness from the outside. Yet in my egoistic ignorance I identify myself with those thoughts; thus, my consciousness becomes clouded, and I am cut off from the higher Light.
So with the movements in the vital and the physical; they come from the outside, and through my identification with them obstruct the descent of the higher Power and Joy. There is something in me which still takes an interest in these movements; there is still such obscurity in me as identifies me with these movements; there is still much inertia and weakness in me, and I cannot always watch, discriminate and reject these movements of the lower Nature.
But as Thy ananda descends into me, the lower play diminishes in interest. Remove this ignorance and this weakness completely from me, Mother; give me more and more of Thy Light and Joy, and keep me occupied with Thy service, so that I may rise completely out of this lower life, and Thy divine rule may be established in me.
* * *
The outward-going habit of the mind makes us liable to all sorts of disturbances; if only we can keep our mind always turned inwards to Thee, Mother, and habituate ourselves to receive all our ideas and inspirations from Thee, we shall be firmly established in calm and peace, which is the indispensable condition of all progress.
The outward running of the senses opens the door to the hostile forces, and constantly makes us liable to attack from the outside; if we can draw our senses inward and turn them to Thee, Mother, we shall taste the immortal joy which will enable us to conquer all temptations in the world.
The blind inertia of our physical nature makes us yield to influences of all kinds from the outside, and thus places us at the mercy of the evil forces; if we can open our will to Thee, Mother, and keep it alert with Thy light and power, nothing will be able to move us, except an impulse coming directly from Thee.
To open our whole nature to Thee, Mother, to check all outward tendencies in us, to constantly aspire to the higher life in Thee, to resolutely reject everything that is impure and undivine, undisturbed by all failure, undaunted by all difficulties however great or serious, — that is our sadhana which will steadily advance us towards the Life Divine.
* * *
To rise above all human imperfections is the most difficult task that has ever been set before man. It is only under Thy direct guidance and protection, Mother, only by Thy special Grace that we can hope to attain that great achievement.
It is not sufficient that we have the right intention to reject all falsehood and accept only the Truth; we must strenuously carry it out in every detail at every moment of our life. Few men deliberately intend to be bad but hell, it is said, is paved with good intentions.
It is not sufficient that we refuse to invite the evil or even be unwilling to tolerate it; but there must not be any slackness in us to reject it integrally. Evils often come to us unasked and uninvited, and humbly seek a little shelter in some obscure corner, promising absolutely to do no harm. But if suffered thus to remain, they will grow in silence and obscurity, and one day rob us of all our treasure. We must resolutely prevent anything untrue or undivine even from approaching us. But how many can do this? Only those who have Thy special protection can hope to achieve this victory, great Mother.
Thou wilt show up whatever is untrue or undivine in us; Thou wilt give strength to our will to reject it integrally and persistently; Thou wilt support us with Thy infinite forbearance and love; only then can we hope to conquer all our imperfections and rise to the divine life, which is our destiny.
* * *
It is no use worrying over the old movements that still persist in us; they will continue until our nature is fully transformed. We should calmly watch them as a part of a universal movement, persistently reject them as they occur in us, and wait in silence and perfect faith for the Grace of the Mother to conquer them completely.
But we must always remember that these old ignorant movements in the mental, the vital, and the physical, make us liable to the attack of the forces of falsehood. We should have sufficient strength of will always to deny them and resist their hostile suggestions; we should never allow ourselves to be careless or indolent as long as the rule of the Mother is not fully established in us.
We cannot altogether give up our thoughts and feelings and works; Nature will have her way. The best course is to connect all our movements, all our life with the Divine Mother. When we think, we should pray for her light to illumine our mind; when we work, we should pray for inspiration from her. At all times we should be able to turn towards the Mother. This must be our ideal, in whatever we do or think or feel we should try to keep in touch with the Mother.
Thus, we shall grow in faith and surrender, in peace and purity, and the Mother gradually descending into us will take up all our activities, all our life, and we shall attain the highest transmutation.
* * *
Let my aspiration ceaselessly rise towards Thee, Mother; let me resolutely turn away from the lower life.
I will not tolerate indolence or laziness in me; on the other hand, I will not allow myself to be carried away by the restless craving for work. Always alert for Thy service, I will look up to Thee for inspiration, and whatever work Thou givest me I will do as Thy instrument regardless of consequence.
I will not tolerate any obscurity or darkness in me but I will not allow the restless activity of the doubting, reasoning mind to make my confusion worse. I will always keep myself open to Thy light and call it to illumine every obscure corner in me.
I will not discourage the yearning of my soul for beauty and love and joy; but I will firmly withhold the outward running of the senses. Freed from all egoistic hankering. I will peacefully accept whatever joy comes to me through Thy Grace; all the joys in the world that come to my lot, I will accept as a divine gift from Thee. Thus I will resolutely turn away from the lower nature and ceaselessly aspire to the divine life that Thou hast promised to me in Thy boundless love.
The Divine Call
Never in my life did I come to grief or sorrow by following what I clearly recognised to be the voice of the Divine in me; it took me higher and higher, to ever-increasing power and glory and joy; and at last it has brought me to Thee, Mother, my Divine Guide and Friend in the human form.
When we give up old ways and old habits, and turn to a new life, a new mode, dread and anxiety seize us as to what will happen to us, what will become of us; but wherever we may go in response to the divine call, we find the Divine surely present everywhere to guide us, to befriend us, to love us with an unfathomable love, though remaining hidden behind the veil. But this time, in Thy grace, Thou hast come out of Thy hiding, Mother, and taken direct and personal charge of me; all my fears and anxieties are ended.
We foolishly think that we can take better care of ourselves than the Divine, or can love ourselves better than our Divine Beloved. Those who can entirely rely on Thee, Mother, Thou takest their entire charge, and thus end all their troubles and anxieties for ever; they live and grow in the utmost safety in the peace and joy of Thy infinite love.
Thou art always with me, Mother, Thou art inside my heart and above my head; if ever I do not feel or realise Thy presence, that is entirely my own fault, due to a still lingering play of the old nature in me.
Thou art not only with me, but Thou art also helping me always to realise Thy presence and by all means trying to draw me towards Thyself. Thou descendest into my mind in the form of luminous truths; Thou descendest into my work in the form of omnipotent will; Thou descendest into my heart, removing all dryness from it, flooding it with the divine joy of Thy love. External Nature, ever renewing its forms of beauty, indicates Thy play of self-manifestation in the universe. The infinite, immutable, silent sky, pervading everything in the world, takes me out of my finite ego and continually reminds me of my highest self, from where I can truly realise Thy divine play. Thy Grace and protection is always with me, Mother, whether I am conscious of it or not.
If Thou hast given me so much, Mother, give me also the integral consciousness, in which I shall be able always to feel Thy presence in me and make my whole life a conscious, constant devotion to Thee.
* * *
Thou art so near to me, my Lord, living in the heart of my heart; yet in my ignorance I think Thee to be so distant, so far away from me!
Thou art with me every moment of my life, standing by me in my joy and my sorrow, in my glory and my shame, in my virtue and my sin; Thou art always supporting me, cheering me, with the utmost care leading me out of misery and darkness to joy and light. Yet in my ignorance I think that I am a helpless mortal wandering alone on the earth; that Thou, my Lord, dost not at all care for me, dost not even think of me.
Thou art seeking my love and homage in infinite ways; Thou appearest before me in various guises in the world and attractest me towards Thee. Whichever way I may turn, Thou always placest Thyself in my front; yet in my ignorance blindfolded I can see Thee nowhere, and live in misery.
Now I do realise that Thou art more near and dear to me than what I regard to be my own self; Thou takest more care of me than ever I can take of myself; in the form of the Divine Mother Thou hast come to me, my Lord, and openly declared Thy love; all my misery has ended, I do now consciously owe Thee as my best beloved.
* * *
Thou art continually working in and through me, Mother; Thou art always pressing upon me from above; yet in my ignorance I think that Thou art far away from me; I fear that Thou art not taking care of Thy child; shut up in my egoism, I do not feel Thy presence and, thus, cannot live in direct and conscious union with Thee, though Thou art always with me.
When I feel great joy in my work, it is the expression of Thy will through me. When my whole being becomes filled with gladness, it is the touch of Thy love on me. When my darkness is dispelled by inner illumination, it is the appearance of Thy light in me. Yet I think that all these are only movements of my egoistic self; thus, I cannot live in direct and conscious union with Thee, Mother, though Thou art always working in me. When I fall into error and yield to the suggestions of falsehood, when movements from the outside world move and disturb me, when my defects and imperfections rise up in magnified forms, it is only the result of the spirit of perfection working in me. Yet I fear that Thou art not taking care of me, Mother; thus, I cannot live in conscious union with Thee, Mother, though Thou art always pressing upon me from above.
Remove this egoism and ignorance from me, Mother, let me tear away the veil that separates me from Thyself; let me feel Thy touch in all my movements, at every moment of my life; let me constantly live in Yoga with Thee, Mother, who art guiding my whole life, seated within the heart of my heart.
* * *
Often I find Thee, Mother, more inside myself than outside; Thou enterest into me with all Thy majesty and grace filling me with Thy power and light and joy. It is then that my union with Thee becomes most intimate and Thou seemest to mingle with every part of my being.
This most happy state is to be made lasting and permanent; but the rushing out of my mind and the senses towards the external life is still a great obstacle and interruption. When I can withdraw myself from the outer consciousness and turn to the silent, sakshi Purusha that is in me, when I find my real self to be delightful in its self-existence, wanting nothing, desiring nothing, then the disturbances of the lower life cease in me or appear to be quite outside myself; and established in the peace and the purity of the inner self, I can fully open my individual nature to Thee, Mother, and intimately receive Thee within me.
As Thy light dawns in me, my consciousness becomes more and more pure and peaceful and clear, and I am ceaselessly aspiring to the condition when I shall get Thee permanently inside myself, completely mingling with and transforming every part of my being.
Let me live a truly dedicated life, Mother, let every thought and movement in me turn towards Thee; Thou art rapidly developing the great potentialities of my soul, Thou art bringing out my best possibilities. In all sincerity, I dedicate all this to Thee, Mother, in an integral self-giving.
Thy light is descending into me from above; in this light I am gradually appreciating Thy divine greatness; this light increases my faith and devotion, this light makes me more and more fit to be an humble servant of Thine.
Thy power is descending into me; let me hold it as a trust, let me never use it for any selfish or egoistic purpose; let me work only according to Thy will, Mother, for serving Thy purpose in the world.
Thy joy is descending into me; Thy love has filled my heart with immense delight; let me offer it as my best worship to the Divine Lord within my heart, and accept all joy and delight as His prasad, His grace.
My new life is entirely a gift of Thee, Mother; let me continually dedicate it to Thee in an entire self-giving.
The Mother is coming into thee, my soul, give up all thy preoccupations, clear away all obstacles, make thy temple clean and pure. The queen of queens, the supreme Mother is coming to thee, my soul, welcome her with all the devotion of thy heart.
The Mother has given me her assurance, she has said to me in her divine voice: “Fear nothing, care for nothing, give thy love and devotion to me; I shall take care of thee, I shall deliver thee from all crises, I shall protect thee absolutely from all danger and grief; I am coming to thy heart, turn away from everything else and worship me with thy heart’s devotion.”
Yes, Mother, I shall be absolutely fearless and careless; I shall entrust my all, my life and soul into Thy hands and be delivered. Fill me with Thy presence, enter into every cell of my body, into every part of my consciousness; think with my every thought, move with my every movement, take up my whole being into Thy divine consciousness.
When will that day come, Mother, when I shall be a free, plastic, perfect channel for Thy divine play?
* * *
We measure our love and devotion to Thee, Mother, by external show and appearance. We are satisfied if we can perfect our formal worship to Thee; we are disturbed if there be any defect in our formality. This is due to our old habit to be guided more by show or appearance than by reality, to care more for what we appear to others than for what we actually are.
Thou sittest within our heart, Mother, and carest more for the inner working of our soul than for the outward appearance we keep up. Our external conduct is meant only to be an aid, a support for our inner development. If we can perfect our inner relation to Thee, Mother, the outer form will take care of itself.
Thou demandest our love for our own sake. The test of our love is not how we make a show of it, but how far it increases our own happiness, how far it helps our inner purification and transformation, how far it helps to raise us to the divine life. Thou, Mother, wilt judge our love and devotion only by that standard and nothing else.
* * *
Thou art working wonders in me, Mother; I feel the greatness of Thy work, though I may not be able adequately to express my experiences.
My defects and imperfections often come uppermost to my mind, whenever I try to speak to Thee; and it is right that it should be so, as this is the only way of getting rid of them. By the touch of Thy grace weakness turns into strength, defect turns into merit, pain turns into pleasure.
Thy work is becoming more and more evident in me as I steadily grow in faith and light, in peace and purity, in knowledge and power. But the great joy that arises from my personal devotion and love to Thee, Mother, where shall I find adequate words to describe it? But Thou Thyself art the source and knowest it too well. Thy love is its own reward, and I have not to wait for some future date for its fulfilment. It will sustain me in all my sadhana and will carry me victoriously through all crises, all difficulties.
Love is the great force which surely leads us to the Divine, and it grows by constant and sincere self-giving.
In self-giving we give up not the self but our selfishness, and that is an indispensable condition of happiness and self-realisation. The more we give to the Divine, the more we get; what we give in dross, we get back in gold; when we offer what is dearest and most valuable to us in life, our gain becomes highest and we get the greatest joy.
When we offer anything to the Divine, we must not make any condition or demand, for that will contradict our self-giving, and defeat its own end. We should completely merge ourselves in the Divine, making her joy our joy, her power our power, her life our life. By the solvent touch of this devotion and love, our egoism will completely melt away, we shall realise that essentially we are one with the Divine Mother; that we are made of the same stuff, we are nothing else but herself reproduced in so many individual forms.
Then will disappear all distinctions between mine and not-mine, all conflicts between self and not-self; we shall feel identified with the one self of all; we shall see the Divine everywhere; and in everything and every movement we shall taste the joy of the divine lila.
Essentially we are one with the Divine, yet we are differentiated so that we may ardently reunite through love — that is the highest truth of our existence.
* * *
I have found the true joy of life in identification with Thee, Mother; my whole being becomes full of real delight when I feel Thy touch intimately within myself.
I receive Thy touch in various ways, and each has its own peculiar joy. When Thy light descends into my mind and finds expression through my ideas and words, I feel the great joy that arises from the perception and expression of truth; but when my mind follows its own way, it becomes a dry and tedious movement going on in a blind and mechanical manner.
When I feel that I am working for Thee and that Thy power is working in me, I feel a great delight and satisfaction in my work; but when I work for my own sake, impelled by desires, with a sense of my own responsibility, it becomes a mere drudgery, bringing in all the miseries of egoistic effort.
When I feel an inner touch with Thy physical body, the very substance of which is pure bliss, even my most material cells throb with a deep and intense joy and get a taste of immortality; but when I cannot open myself, the body remains dull and inert, producing more pain than pleasure by its blind groping movements.
My aspiration is to perfectly identify myself with Thee, Mother, in every part of my being, so that my whole life may become full of divine and immortal joy.
Divine Joy (Ananda)
People think that there is a special merit in suffering and that all enjoyment is a sort of sin; so they turn away from the joys of life and deliberately inflict misery and suffering upon themselves.
That is not our path. To us all suffering is due to ignorance and is a sign of imperfection. It is the Divine in us who tastes our joys, and it is on the Divine in us that we inflict all our sufferings. To seek then the true joys in life and avoid all sufferings is the secret of our sadhana. It is thus that we grow in love to the Divine Beloved seated within us and become one with the divine nature.
We want to make our work not dry and joyless, but full of delight and enthusiasm; we seek no egoistic satisfaction but the great joy that comes from the conscious service of the Divine. Our search for truth and knowledge is not a laborious effort of the reasoning mind, but a joyful expression of the divine light in and through us. We do not hanker after the sensuous pleasures of the body, but seek to make ourselves absolutely clean and pure, free from all nervous reactions, so that pure ananda may descend from above and seize even the material cells of our body.
Our sadhana is to offer the highest ananda to the Divine Lover who dwells within us and everywhere in the universe, and this is possible only by identifying ourselves completely with Thee, Mother Divine, through sincere love and devotion.
* * *
Every movement in Thee, Mother, is an expression of supreme Beauty; those only miss it who are blinded by their selfish ignorance and are confused by the clamour of the senses.
Through all things and events in the world Thou art eternally manifesting the Truth; the world is moving from light to light, from power to power, from joy to joy; in and through Thy play in the universe, the all-pervading Divine Being eternally enjoys His self-expression.
People miss the beauty and the joy in the universe, because they cut themselves off from the perennial flow by their ignorant egoism. Nothing is of interest to them that does not serve their selfish purpose; nothing brings joy to them unless it comes in the crude form of limited sense-enjoyment; they become miserable when the Divine Shakti seems to ignore their egoistic demands. Impelled by the vain desire to possess things for the sake of the ego, they put themselves into eternal conflict with the forces of the world.
Save me from this narrow selfish standpoint. Mother, let me identify myself with Thy movement of Truth, let me realise the infinite consciousness so that I may share with the Divine Purusha the infinite joy of Thy world-play.
Thy love is rendering my life into a paradise. Mother; Thy grace is wonderfully protecting me from all sides. I feel so secure and happy! There must no longer be any opening in me to the hostile forces. The slightest impurity or untruth greatly hampers Thy work in me; I must now keep myself absolutely clean and pure.
And that most hard and difficult task, Thou hast made so easy for us! Thou hast taught us the great secret of fighting with all imperfections; it is to aspire ceaselessly and sincerely. If we want to know anything, we have only to aspire and we shall get the light. If we want to do anything, we have only to aspire and we shall get the necessary strength. Whatever be the position into which we may be put, however difficult or dangerous, we have only to aspire, and Thy grace will surely raise us up. Thou hast made the path so clear to us, Mother, we have only to will and persevere, and we shall steadily march forward.
But the great obstacle is the slackness of our will, the fundamental inertia of our lower nature. We become so easily satisfied! We only look to the positions where the light has fallen and carelessly neglect to take notice of the obscure corners in us; hence we are always liable to hostile attacks. We must not wait for these blows to wake us up, but must ceaselessly aspire to be awake and alert. Thou hast created all the conditions favourable for our transformation. Mother; we have only to take advantage of them and we shall surely attain the goal.
* * *
It is strange how Nature, frustrated in her direct attempts, comes in all sorts of clever disguises to win back our allegiance. Unless we can make ourselves absolutely clean and pure and ever keep a diligent watch on ourselves, we can never be safe from the machinations of the lower nature; but that is so hard and difficult in practice!
But there is one effective way of remaining safe, if only we can sincerely stick to it, and that is always to live in close touch and intimate union with Thee, Mother; to listen to no voice, however seemingly wise and benevolent, unless it be Thy direct voice within us; to seek no joy or pleasure unless it comes directly from love and devotion to Thee; to engage in no work or effort unless it be for Thy service in accordance with Thy direct will and sanction. Thou hast given us all facilities for such an intimate union with Thee, and if we cannot avail ourselves of them, that is all our own fault, our own weakness.
How many times I take the earnest resolve not to live apart from Thee even for a single moment, yet how many times I am carried away by the seductive impulses of my lower nature! But all my hope lies in Thee, Mother. Thou knowest all my defects, all my weaknesses; Thou knowest, in the heart of my heart I seek none else but Thyself; in Thy grace and mercy thou wilt protect me from my own weakness, and lead me to the ultimate victory, when I shall rise finally above all the hostile forces in the world.
Afflicted by the sorrows of the world we earnestly pray for the Divine; but when the Divine comes to us we hesitate to accept it — such is the falsehood and contradiction in our earthly nature!
The central being in us aspires to the divine life, but the different parts passionately cling to the earthly life, and obstinately refuse to give up the old ways and the old habits. We seek to open us to Thee, Mother, but our mind brings in all sorts of rambling thoughts which veil Thy presence from us. We seek immortal joy, yet our senses persistently pull us towards the poor, mixed, limited pleasures of the earth. We pray for heavenly light, but when it comes to us we fail to recognise or accept it. Thus, our life becomes a curious mixture of truth and falsehood, of light and darkness, of joy and sorrow.
We would have the divine life, but recoil from fulfilling the conditions. We want the truth but would not reject the untruth in us. We would reach heaven but at the same time live on earth. It is no wonder that, in spite of all our attempts to rise, we remain where we are.
It is Thy grace alone, Mother, that can lift us from these self-contradictions, and establish us in the real truth of our being.
* * *
Nothing in the world can cause us any disturbance, unless we ourselves allow us to be disturbed. We forget our true self, we identify ourselves with the lower movements of nature, and so we ceaselessly suffer from disturbances.
Truth as well as falsehood are continually coming to us; we are afraid that we may accept the falsehood and reject the truth; we are afraid that in our ignorance, Mother, we may do anything against Thy divine will; we are sorely disturbed if any wrong or false movement takes place in us. By this fear and this disturbance we invite more mischief and sorrow.
We must have courage, we must remember that as long as we have sincerity, Thy grace will never recede from us. Thou knowest our strength as well as our weakness. We ourselves may misunderstand or misinterpret us, but Thou readest our heart like an open book. We can rest absolutely contented with the sincerity of our surrender; Thy grace will deliver us from all error, from all falsehood.
Whatever change or movement may take place in our nature, we have to observe it calmly, seated in our immutable self, and continually offer the whole play of our nature to Thee, Mother, to be transformed. The more pure and intense our devotion to Thee, Mother, the more joyful and triumphant becomes the whole process of our transformation.
In my ignorance I think that I am sharply isolated by my body from the Universal outside, that mental and vital movements rise independently within me and belong to myself. But it appears to a closer insight that I constitute only a centre or point, a particular medium or receptacle on which all sorts of mental, vital and physical movements coming from the outside are manifesting themselves. But the object of our Yoga is to surmount these lower movements and allow only the Truth that is descending from above to manifest in us.
Thoughts and desires and impulses constantly enter into us from the Universal; they come sometimes as fully formed, sometimes as suggestions, as mere exciting or stimulating influences; they come from the human race as well as from beings and forces other than the human; they fill up our whole being with falsehoods and perversions, and thus retard the manifestation of the Truth. But they can enter into us only because we keep ourselves open to them, nay, often invite them; our ignorance and egoism, our ambition, vanity, attachment, low desires leave the gates constantly open to all sorts of influences which are the determined enemies of truth.
In order to be free from them we must keep ourselves absolutely clean and pure, always alert to detect their approach, always full of the divine attributes of peace, light, harmony, joy, power, love; and for this we have only to keep our heart and soul always open to Thee in personal devotion, О Mother Divine.
Divinity of Man
Thou art so high, so great, Mother, yet so near to me, so much my own! By Thy great love Thou hast awakened me to my own greatness. I am no worm of the earth, mean or low, but I am really a part of Thy divine self, Thy own child, Thy flesh and blood.
Let me no more forget my divinity, Mother; it is the forgetfulness of my real self that has been the cause of all my bondage and misery. We cling to the things of the earth, because we do not know our true glory and greatness, our true affinity to Thee, Mother. Henceforth, my sole aim will be to manifest my relation to Thee at every moment, in every detail of my life.
The consciousness that I am Thy child will enable me to reject everything impure or undivine, to conquer all lower desires and attachments, to rise above all the petty joys and sorrows of the earth; it will feed the flame of my aspiration towards infinite light and power and joy.
Thy great love will sustain me in that divine consciousness, Mother, and steadily raise me to Thy divine life.
The inert passivity of our nature is a great obstacle to our progress. The slightest force from the Universal can cause disturbance in us, and once our nature is disturbed, it has an obstinate tendency to continue in that state. It is for this reason that forces of falsehood find us an easy prey, and the light of Truth remains hidden from us.
When our mind is once set in motion by some thought or suggestion, it continues to revolve round it like a mechanical wheel. It returns again and again to its thoughts and conceptions without in the least making any progress in knowledge. So too the vital being is pulled in all directions by the lower pleasures of life, and is easily bound by attachments. The body is at the mercy of the physical forces of Nature, and cannot move beyond the habits and instincts which have been imposed on it. Thus, we go on in our old way wasting our time and energy, moving always but making no progress anywhere.
In Thy wonderful divine way, Mother, Thou hast shown us the way out of this hopeless predicament. Thou hast given us a life where, protected by Thee from all evil influences, we can easily break away from our old life, and prepare for our speedy transformation. In Thy grace Thou hast always kept Thyself before us as the embodiment of light and power and joy; and Thou art always keeping us full of the purest thoughts and feelings and aspirations. It is thus opening ourselves to Thy personal influence, Mother, that we can hope to conquer the obstinacy of our ignorant nature and rise to the glories of the life divine.
The life I live here may appear to be dull, idle and empty from the outside; but in reality it is much more busy, full, and joyous for me than it was ever before in my life.
In the past I was being blindly driven by the forces of Nature, and I ignorantly mistook the hustle of these forces to be my busy life. Now I am realising my own self, observing the forces that play in and around me, refusing to be a mere tool in their hands, sternly rejecting the lower impulses, calmly waiting for whatever comes from Thee, Mother. Every moment I have to be alert, watchful even in my sleep. In the inner organisation of my own self I have much more intensive and interesting work than when I was a helpless slave in the grip of alien forces.
Then, Mother, the more I empty myself of the lower things, the more Thou fillest me with Thy divine life. By Thy light Thou removest my darkness, by Thy inspiration Thou givest me enlightened work, by Thy love Thou hast made my life a heaven of divine joy.
In fact, life was never more rich, full, and happy for me than what I am living now under Thy grace and direct protection.
Rest and Silence
Give me rest. Mother, give me calm and peaceful rest at Thy feet. I won’t any more go out to play in the world; I am tired of it, Mother, sorely tired.
How I busy myself in vain and useless efforts pretending that I am doing God’s work! I run after name and fame; I strain every nerve in me to attain it, only to find at last that it is a mere empty bubble that cannot stand a pinprick. All the time Thou smilest, Mother, and allowest Thy child to have his play.
I run after the beautiful and the joyful things in the world, I stake my all to attain them and, lo! they recede at my approach; they completely vanish at my touch, and sore disappointment alone lies in wait for me! All the time, Thou smilest, Mother, Thou allowest Thy child to have his way.
No more of it, Mother, I have done with it for good. Allow me now to rest peacefully at Thy feet, absolutely unconcerned about anything that may go on in the world outside. Let me look at Thy beautiful face, let my heart be cheered up by Thy graceful smiles; let me incessantly call Thee “Mother, Mother” simply for the joy of it.
Allow me to drink deep at the fountain of Thy sweetness; allow me to get strength from Thy strength, light from Thy light, life from Thy life. Then Thou mayest send me to do Thy work in the world. Till then, Mother, allow me to have peaceful rest at Thy feet, and in silence grow into Thy divine life.
* * *
What a relief it is to be freed from the restless activity of the mind and the body, and to fall into the stillness of the soul! But all my efforts in this direction have failed again and again. The more I try to still my mind and stop the incessant formations of thoughts and ideas, the more they enter into me and occupy the mind. I try to throw away the movements coming from the universal Prakriti, but they again and again push into me with irresistible force.
I am tired of these restless movements, Mother, and do not know how to get rid of them permanently. I now place my head at Thy feet. Mother, and open myself to Thee, so that Thy deep silence may more and more descend into me. Let Thy silence fall on my thoughts and emotions, on my cravings and desires; let peace descend on my perturbed soul and a deep calm reign all over my being. In that silence Thou wilt descend into me, Mother, and establish Thy rule of ananda in every part of my being.
Conquest of Desires
I shall not ask, for anything from Thee, Mother; I shall only sit at Thy feet looking up to Thy face. Whatever Thou wilt give me in Thy grace, I shall bow down and accept. I know Thou art the queen of queens, and canst fill me with riches, which will be the envy of the gods. But the more I desire them, the more I limit my possibilities. I have taken a deathless determination to root out all my desires, so that Thou mayest fill me with joy in Thy own way.
I know Thou art the mightiest power in the universe, and canst make me more powerful even than the gods. But the more I fret and make efforts with my will, the more I fail and limit my capacity. I have resolved to quiet my will and effort, Mother, so that Thou mayest work out in Thy own way Thy all-conquering will through me.
I know Thou art the Truth itself, and canst give me wisdom beyond the ken of gods; but the more I try to know by the effort of my mind and reason, the more I blind myself to truth. I have resolved to make my mind quiet and passive, so that Thou mayest fill me with Thy light in Thy own way.
I have resolved to remove all obstacles, so that Thou mayest have Thy own way in me. I shall ask for nothing, I shall only sit at Thy feet, Mother, looking up to Thy face.
* * *
The world assumes an entirely fresh aspect, every thing and every event become full of beauty and of joy, if only we can get rid of our desires, if we can transcend our egoism.
We hanker blindly after the limited joys of the world, our senses are continually rushing out to seize and enjoy their objects, and thus is disturbed the tranquility of the soul, which is the true foundation of all delight. By our egoism we cut ourselves off from the Truth; falsely we centre our existence round a narrow conception of the self; hence arise division and conflict, hence we suffer from wrath and fear, from rivalry and jealousy; hence we suffer from the pangs of loss and separation.
Let me fully grasp the truth, Mother, that my limited ego is not my true self; let me be continually identified with the one Self of all, and be established in its eternal, immutable peace.
Let me realise that this life of desire is not my real nature, that I am Thy true child, Divine Mother, and that my life is a part of Thy divine play on the earth. Then the whole world will change its aspect and will be eternally full of great beauty and intense delight for me.
* * *
My desires and passions are constantly pointing out the way to me, hence I err at every step. It is my earnest aspiration to be guided solely by Thy light and Thy voice, Mother, but the impurities in me would not allow me to do so.
I have in me all sorts of ideas about duty and fixed habits of work. Various considerations rise in me whenever I want to do or undo anything. It is no wonder I constantly get confused and accept falsehood as truth. There is one simple rule which can save me from all trouble and anxiety, can protect me from all errors and disasters, and that is to follow Thee and Thee only, Mother. But my ever recurring egoism would not allow me to do so.
Thou hast shown the surest way to conquer all my desire and egoism; I have only to turn towards Thee always and keep myself full of Thy love. No pleasure arising from the pursuit of selfish habits and egoistic desires can ever compare with the great joy of sincere love and devotion to Thee, Mother. Yet such is my weakness and ignorance that I turn away from Thee and pursue my ego; I turn away from gold which is within my easy reach and involve myself in misery in the mad pursuit of dross.
Draw me more and more to Thyself, Mother; one who has tasted the great joy of Thy love can never live apart and away from Thee. Always keep me full of Thyself so that I may fully get rid of my impurities and grow into Thy divine nature and Thy divine life.
All the beautiful things in the world conspire to make us renegades. The universe is full of the joy for which our soul hankers, but we do not know the true way of satisfaction. We are irresistibly drawn by anything that offers us joy, but through ignorance we fall into traps laid for us by Nature; instead of the true joy we seek, we bring endless misery and suffering on ourselves.
We have a fundamental craving in us for work, for the expression of our nature through the right and the good; but we do not know the true way of work, and taking our desires as our guide we fall into inexorable bondage.
Our soul thirsts for knowledge, but we do not know the true way of attaining the truth, and indulging in incessant restless mental activity keep ourselves enveloped in darkness.
Our search for the Beautiful and the Good and the True must be made through Thee, Mother. Thou embodies in Thyself all the true movements in the universe. We must sternly reject all the temptings of falsehood and constantly turn to Thee and Thee alone for the satisfaction of the truest needs of our soul. For me, let there be no world, no existence except in and through Thee, Mother Divine.
Relation with the World
My relation to the world shall be determined through Thee, Mother; only then I shall find my true place, my true function in the world. The relations established through my ego have turned out to be my bondage; by surrendering my egoism completely to Thee, Mother, I shall find out my complete freedom.
The apparently independent life we live is really a subjection to the forces of Nature. We think that we depend on our own mind and will and the senses, but it is really Nature that uses these instruments to have her own way with us. Only by substituting Thy rule for this lower play in us, Mother, we shall find out our true life.
The Universe is full of joy, the possibilities of life are infinite; but through our ignorance we remain cut off from them; our senses bewilder us, and we live a life of limitations, full of misery and pain. We are Thy own children, Mother, and the joys in the world, all the power and the light, belong to us as our true heritage. By recognising Thee to be our own, we shall make the whole world our own, and enjoy Thy glorious kingdom, Mother, instead of living there as slaves and bondsmen.
Seldom do we commit a wrong or a mistake without getting a timely warning, however vague or weak, from within ourselves. This shows that the truth consciousness is within us, though we may not be sufficiently open or responsive to it.
Our whole existence is supported by the truth consciousness; we live, move, and have our being in it; all our joy and light and power are derived from it; but through our imperfections and limitations the truth is perverted in us, and the light is obscured; so we live a life which is a curious mixture of truth and falsehood, of joy and sorrow, of strength and weakness. To remove all the obstacles to the expression of truth, and to live in the purity of the truth consciousness, which is our true essential nature — that is the object of our sadhana.
A great obstacle to the manifestation of truth in us is the inertia of our physical nature. There is a tendency in us to move on with the force that is pushing us, and also an unwillingness to move or change, unless compelled by the force of circumstances. It is on account of this dark sluggishness and inertia of our nature that we cannot clearly grasp the light that is constantly streaming into us, nor move or act promptly in response to it. But there is also the intelligent will in us, by exercising which we can overcome this inertia, and keep ourselves calm, free, and alert, so that the truth from above may freely work in us, and bring about our transformation. Awaken and strengthen this will in us, Mother, so that we can make ourselves a perfect expression of the truth consciousness.
Our real life is within our own self; the external is only a reflection, only a manifestation. We regard this reflection as the real thing, hence we live in perpetual falsehood.
The source of all true joy is the self; the senses and the external objects are only a means, an occasion for the manifestation of the inner delight; but in our ignorance we turn outward and follow the senses in vain search of joy.
The source of all true knowledge is the self; the mind cannot know but can only reflect the light that comes from within; yet we ceaselessly exercise our mind in search of the truth and thus live in shadow and ignorance.
The source of all true strength is the self; our body and mind are only channels for the manifestation of the inner force; yet we rely on our bodily and mental efforts for our work and thus waste our life in vain and fruitless labour.
Thou art our true self, Mother, and our true relation to Thee is in the heart of our heart. We lay too much stress on our external relations, and hence we miss the secret of our union with Thee. If we can perfect our inner relation to Thee, Mother, our external life will spontaneously become perfect, harmonious, and beautiful.
* * *
We are the real masters of our nature, and the more we realise this truth, the more the lower movements cease in us, giving place to the higher.
Nature binds us in her meshes only because we allow ourselves to be bound. We take interest in the lower movements of Nature, so they go on indefinitely. The more we yield to her promptings, the more inextricably she lays her hold upon us and uses us as her bond-slaves. But the moment we take a strong attitude, Nature begins to throw away her mask and accept us as her master.
There is no temptation Nature can bring before us which we cannot resist by a strong will; there is no pain or sorrow which we cannot bear; there is no disturbance in which we cannot keep ourselves calm; there is no situation, however hopeless or bad, out of which we cannot raise ourselves by a strong determination. Infinite and indomitable strength is in our self; we have only to realise it, and Nature will cease to trouble us and will yield to us her richest treasures.
We take refuge in Thee, Mother, so that we may know our true self and realise our true strength. The more we devote ourselves to Thee, the more we find Thee to be our own higher self, we get strength from Thy strength, life from Thy life. The moment of our complete identification with Thee, Mother, will be the moment of our highest conquest and self-realisation.
Light is there all around us; we live, move and have our being in light. Whatever is necessary for us to know, we can know at all times, if only we are sufficiently open to receive it. But our mechanical thoughts and notions hide the light from us; our doubts and misgivings prevent us from accepting the truth when it comes. Thus, we pass our life in darkness and ignorance. Power is there all around us; it supports our life, our movements, our efforts. Whatever power and strength is required for the work before us, we can get at all times, if only we are sufficiently open and receptive. But our inert passivity or egoistic restlessness cuts us off from the source of all power. Thus, we pass our life in weakness and failure.
Joy is there all around us; the foundation of the whole world play is infinite joy, and our life is a progressive manifestation of it.
We have only to open ourselves, and there will be no limit to our joy and bliss. But we limit and bound ourselves by ignorant desires, and attachments. Thus; we pass our life in thirst and misery.
Thou art there always by our side, always within us, Mother; all greatness, all glory is Thine. We can have the fullest share of light and power and joy, if only we can sufficiently open ourselves to Thee.
* * *
I am emptying my heart and soul, Mother, so that Thou mayest fill me with Thy own self. Come to me in Thy fullness, come as light, come as power, come as joy.
Descend into me as light, dispel all darkness from me, fill me with the knowledge of truth; give me the insight by which I can always discriminate between truth and falsehood.
Come as power in the form of divine impulses, give me the strength to reject sternly all suggestions of falsehood, give me the power to execute only Thy will perfectly on the earth.
Come as joy filling my heart with love and beauty. In all the sweetest sight and sounds on the earth, let me recognise the expressions of Thy divine beauty.
That is how I shall recognise Thee everywhere, Mother, as light, as power, as pure and perfect joy; I shall persistently make myself free from all darkness and perversions, so that Thou mayest fill me with Thy own self, Divine Mother.
It is curious how egoism mixes up with our surrender even when it is apparently honest and sincere. At one time we bow with our heart and soul to the Divine, at other times we follow our own way; even at the same time, some part in us surrenders, while other parts hold back. The test is the lack of peace and equanimity, for where there is real surrender these things cannot exist.
We depend on the Divine, but also count upon our own powers; as the saying goes, we trust in God, but keep our powder dry. As if our surrender is to get as much as possible from the Divine, and use it for our own purpose in our own way. It is this want of sincerity and completeness in our surrender that is a great obstacle to the working of the divine Power in us.
Let this falsehood and duplicity completely disappear from me, Mother; let me turn always towards Thee, let me be free from all egoism, all initiative, all desire; let this earnest prayer ceaselessly rise up from my soul:
“Descend into me, Mother, in all Thy divine glory; seize my mind and fill it with Thy light; seize my will and make it an instrument of Thy work; seize my whole being and make it a perfect vehicle of the great joy of divine love.”
* * *
We really lose nothing by losing our egoistic personality in the one immutable Self of all existence. Through the ego we ignorantly confine ourselves to a limited portion of the world; by transcending the ego we go beyond this limitation and realise the whole world to be our own. Then we have not to feel the pang of separation from our near and dear ones, because we find them within our own self, and beings in the world become equally near and dear to us. We cease to be troubled by ideas of obligations and duty, as we realise that we are not the real doers, but it is Nature really which carries out all our actions. The joys and sorrows of the world do no longer affect us, as we perceive them to be passing movements in the universal play. Realising our true self to be infinite and perfect, we rise above all limited desires and attachments. By losing our ego we lose only our bondage and limitation.
Yet we do not cease to have individual personality. Through our individual nature, we enter into a relation of love and devotion to Thee, Mother, and find our nature to be a part of Thyself, a vehicle of the manifestation of Thy divine play which Thou art unfolding for the pleasure of Thy Lord. By merging our lower self in the higher and identifying our individual nature with Thee, Mother, we grow into our real divine personality.
* * *
As long as the ego is the centre of our life, we ceaselessly move found it, bound by our ignorant attachments, impelled by our blind desires; no real progress, no transformation is at all possible under these conditions of darkness and falsehood. But all the limitations and imperfections of the lower life are at once ended when we are able to merge ourselves completely in Thee, Mother.
Then Thou becomest the centre of our life instead of the ego; Thy will take the place of our desires; thy truth replaces the limited light of our reason; and all our sensuous hankerings and egoistic cravings are merged in the great delight of an intimate touch and integral union with Thee. And this is the real truth of our life. We are made out of Thy stuff, we are a spark out of Thy fire; all separation from Thee is a falsehood and the real cause of misery.
So let me grow more and more identified with Thee, Mother, let all independent movements, all separate existence altogether cease in me. As the river falling into the sea at once transcends its limitations and becomes great and infinite with the sea itself, so let my human life fall into Thee, Mother, and become great and glorious in Thy divine life and Thy divine consciousness.
Jiva, the Individual Soul
Every individual is an infinity in himself, a concealed godhead, an eternal portion of the supreme Divine. Every jiva represents a particular phase, a particular mode of the cosmic play, and in and through every one the divine Mother is unfolding the infinite universe for the enjoyment of her Lord. Every one has his own place in the scheme of the universe, and no one can substitute or replace another or manifest possibilities other than what belong specially to him. And the relation of the Mother to every one is determined by his own special nature, his own special dharma.
It is through ignorance of this fundamental truth of our existence that we egoistically seek to possess what does not belong to us. Following ignorant desires, we limit our own possibilities and come into conflict with those of others. When we shall realise the truth of our being and our true relation with the Mother, all conflicts, all discords will disappear, and our life will become a progressive harmonious self fulfilment according to our own nature, and thus through us will be manifested the glories of the Divine on earth. Established in the truth of our being, we shall realise that we are really a part and parcel of the divine Mother, and that all individuals are really her own self in so many forms and in so many ways approaching and uniting with her divine Lord and Beloved.
Mystery of Life
It is a mistake deep-rooted in our nature to suppose that our consciousness will be empty and blank, if we give up thought and reasoning; that our heart will become dried up and hard, if we forego the sensuous joys and the egoistic emotions; that our life will be idle and barren, if we cease to follow our desires and exercise our will. Thus, we tenaciously cling to our old ways and modes of life, and the Divine, does not get any scope to manifest in us.
But the truth is that the more we give up these egoistic ways and habits, the more will the divine Power take up these function in us and make our life infinitely more rich, more luminous, more active and joyful.
Again, it is a great mistake to think that if we surrender our egoism, we shall lose our individual existence, we shall virtually cease to exist as independent living forces, and shall become only a mechanical tool, an inert automaton in the hands of an alien power, however great or divine that power may be. Thus, we obstinately cling to our ego, and the higher life gets no chance to develop in us.
But the truth is that by real surrender we do not cease to be individuals, but become subtly identified with the Supreme Divine; the divine will becomes our will, the divine way becomes our way. The Divine works in us through our individual nature developing its deepest possibilities. We become one with the divine Mother, yet perfectly our own selves. This is the supreme mystery of existence.
Come to me, Mother, in Thy warrior mood, come with Thy divine impetuosity shaking all the worlds by the tramping of Thy feet; fill my heart with Thy terrible beauty and awful grandeur. Thy fiery radiant eyes will dispel all darkness from my soul, Thy stern exacting voice will rouse me from lethargy and slumber, Thy thrilling touch will give me indomitable spirit and force to conquer.
Indeed I have need of Thee, Mother Mahakali, my kingdom is besieged by the asuras and demons, who are relentless in their attacks on me. How long Thy child shall live under their sway? How long shall I allow my temple to be defiled by those forces of darkness and falsehood? At my present rate of progress, I shall never be able to rid me of their evil influence completely. With my unaided strength, I shall never be able to conquer them finally.
Come then, Mother, with Thy mighty violence smashing all obstacles in me, snapping all the chords of desire and attachment that still give a foothold in me to the Asuras and Rakshas, breaking relentlessly all that is impure, malignant or undivine in me, so that out of their ruins may be built up a glorious structure of divine strength and beauty, where Thou, Mother, in all Thy grace and power wilt live for ever and for ever.
What a glorious vision Thou hast shown to me, Mother! As I remember it, a thrill of joy passes through my whole system.
But it was so short! It was like the glorious dawn this morning when the earth and the sea and the sky vied with each other to produce a soft shyama colour tinged with gold all over Nature. The sun appeared in its splendour for a moment, and then was hid deep behind the clouds. The rays are still lingering in my heart, but, alas! the glorious sun has disappeared.
Thou hast only infinitely increased the thirst in the heart, the longing for the divine vision. Remove the clouds from me, Mother, for good; let me see Thee by the side of Thy Divine Beloved for ever within my heart; let me see and recognise and share in Thy play of love in every object, in every event in the world, so that the glorious vision may last for ever, and I may never have to suffer from separation.
Give me some of Thy love, Mother, by which Thou hast secured the Divine Beloved for ever by Thy side; if only I could identify myself completely with Thee! A stream of delight is flowing through all my veins, Mother; what a glorious vision Thou hast shown to me to-day! What a joy!
Praise and Blame
When we depend on the estimation of others, we bring ourselves to their level. Regard for the opinion of people is a help in the lower scale of life, but it is a great obstacle when we would rise higher.
It is the ego in us that hankers for praise and is afraid of blame. When we seek the aggrandisement of our egoistic life, we try to please others and avoid their criticism. In doing so we may often have to give up the path of truth and accept that of falsehood. Those who would realise truth in their life must give up all such selfish desire and self-seeking, and must be ready to accept with equality all the consequences of following the truth.
When we feel disturbed by the opinions of others, to that extent our surrender is incomplete, and our dependence on the divine will imperfect. Those who have completely dedicated themselves will seek only the satisfaction of the Divine Mother, and disregard what the whole world may have to say of them. Seeking thus only to satisfy the Mother in all our life and action, we shall make our relation so intimate with her that she herself will take up all our actions and use us as instruments for her work in her own divine way. Then the praise or blame of the world will lose all power to touch us, and we shall be established in perfect peace and equality.
We are never deceived so badly as when ourselves deceive ourselves. By vigilance we can protect ourselves against deception from outside, but when we deceive ourselves our whole life becomes full of falsehood. We cannot always stand guard on ourselves; indeed our own self may be our worst enemy.
Subtle are the ways in which our nature plays false with us. We think we believe things which we really do not believe. We really believe things which we think we do not believe at all. We pretend to be what we are not; we really are what we pretend not to be. We know things to be wrong, yet somehow justify them to ourselves; we know things to be right, yet persuade ourselves against them. Under such circumstances truth will have no chance in us. As long as we depend solely on our own mind and intelligence, we shall never be completely free from this dark play of self-deception.
Our hidden desires and attachments will pull the string from behind and divide our intelligence against itself. We must rise above our egoistic desire-soul and stand on the higher self which is the real truth of our being. Established in the immutable peace and infinite freedom and absolute purity of our true universal self, we must entrust to the divine Mother our whole nature with all its truth and falsehood, its right and wrong, its good and bad. The only way of escaping from self-deception is to surrender ourselves completely to Thee, Mother Divine.
Personal Relation with The Divine Mother
In Thee I have found the solution of all my doubts, in Thee I have found light in my darkness. The insatiable thirst for knowledge in me has found an eternal source of illumination in Thyself.
In Thee I have found my heart’s delight. Thy grace and sweetness and beauty have filled my whole life with gladness. In allowing me to offer my love to Thee and lay my heart’s homage at Thy feet, Thou hast given me the surest means of purifying myself and preparing for the immortal joy of the divine life.
And in serving Thy great cause, Mother, I have found such a scope and field for all my power and energy as was beyond even my wildest imagination; and Thou art teaching me the true skill in work.
Thou wilt always shine as the pole star in the firmament of my life, and with all my heart and soul I shall constantly turn to Thee and follow Thee, until I grow into the light of Thy light, the life of Thy life and become completely identified with Thyself. Only then will be fulfilled the highest aspiration of my soul.
* * *
By submitting to Thee, Mother, I submit to my own highest self, and that is the true condition of freedom. Thou imposest no alien rule or law on me, but makest me find out the true law of my own nature. Thou usest no force or compulsion except that of Thy all-conquering love, which satisfies the inmost needs of my own soul. The more I realise my nearness and identity to Thee, Mother, the more I approach my highest self-realisation.
I feel Thee essentially bound up with all my life. In my work I feel that it is Thy force which works for Thy sake. In my joys it is Thy infinite sweetness that flows into me. In my light it is Thy light which dispels all my darkness. I feel no hesitation to bare my bosom completely before Thee; my faults and my merits, my defects and my virtues, are all offered to Thee, Mother. I have nothing to show, nothing to hide. In Thee I find my own true self, and in my true self I find Thee.
Our relation is eternal and immutable. Thou hast created me out of Thy own self, Mother, so that Thou mayest taste Thy own love. Thou sittest in the heart of my heart and guides me towards Thee. To love Thee and be loved, to approach Thee and be fully identified with Thee — that is the sole purpose in my life, the sole meaning of my existence. By surrendering to Thee, Mother, I fulfil the highest function of my life.
* * *
Thou art the source of all my strength, all my inspiration, Mother, Thou art the source of all my life. The more I draw upon Thee, the more rich and prosperous becomes my life.
All the true and good and beautiful things in the world are but derivations and reflections from Thee, Mother; they are true with Thy truth, good with Thy goodness, beautiful with Thy beauty. Apart from Thee they are mere shadows, mere misleading appearances. Those who turn away from Thee and ignorantly run after these shadows, they move in endless misery, and lose themselves in the wild desert of life. Thou art the source of all truth and goodness and beauty, Mother, and these must be realised through Thee and Thee alone.
Let me give up all pursuits of the finite, Mother, and tune myself with the infinite; let me turn away from all mere shadows and reflections and resort to the source of all glory and greatness; let me constantly draw upon Thee, Mother, and grow into Thy own divine life. By making Thee my own, I shall become the master of all the glories in the world.
* * *
Great must have been my sadhana through innumerable lives, I am now able to approach Thee, Mother, and be accepted as one of Thy chosen ones. Thy grace has decided to make me an instrument of Thy will, to turn me into a vehicle of Thy manifestation on the earth. My whole being is throbbing with joy at Thy intimate touch within me.
Thou hast occupied my heart, Mother, no one else shall have any more homage from me. Seeking to aggrandise and glorify my ego, I have constantly brought worry and shame on myself; now all my egoistic pursuits are ended I shall no more hanker after any work but shall allow Thy will to work in me; I shall no more ignorantly strive to aggrandise myself, but shall allow Thee to fill my whole being and transform me in Thy own way.
I have taken my absolute refuge with Thee, Mother, and Thou hast taken me under Thy protection. It is for Thee to decide what success will come to me, what illumination, what delight. I have given my sole charge to Thee, the supreme Mother, and can now rest in absolute peace.
* * *
Thou art seated in the heart of my heart, Mother; to keep my mind and heart and soul always turned towards Thyself is my only sadhana; therein I have found the secret of my true happiness and the surest means of my transformation.
My mind always tends to go outward; there is a restless hankering for movement, for work in my nature. But when I work for my own sake, from personal and egoistic motives, I get more and more entangled. Hence it is that I constantly aspire to be able to work solely for Thy sake, Mother, with Thy force in me, so that in and through my work I may remain always in touch and communion with Thee.
My heart always hankers after beauty and love, but if I follow the suggestion of the senses, I get more and more entangled, and irresistibly go downward; hence I pour all my love at Thy feet, Mother, and constantly seek to fill my heart and soul with Thy heavenly charms, so that in and through my love I may realise my identification with Thee, and rise above the bonds of my earthly nature.
Through all the movements of my nature to come into intimate touch and union with Thee, Mother, that is my only sadhana; therein I have found the secret of my transformation.
* * *
Thou art the goal of my sadhana, Mother, my sole aspiration is to transform myself into Thy nature and live eternally and consciously in union with Thee.
Thou art the sadhaka in me, Mother; Thou hast descended into me and assumed my bonds and limitations, so that Thou mayest conquer and transform them. I have only to surrender myself and with absolute confidence rely on Thee; everything else Thou wilt do for me.
Thou art the sadhana in me, Mother; Thou art aspiration in my soul, devotion and love in my heart, light in my consciousness, strength and power in my will; as ineffable joy and sweetness Thou pervadest all my life. My progress in sadhana is the progress of Thy manifestation in me.
Thou callest from below, thou respondest from above, Thou art Thyself the call. Thou art my life, thou art my soul, I have no existence apart from Thee. Thou art my sadhana, Thou art my siddhi, thou art my all in all, oh! Graceful, Merciful Divine Mother!
* * *
Always to follow Thee, to shape myself into Thy image, always to keep me full of Thyself, to lay my heart’s homage at Thy feet, that is my only tapasya, I know nothing else, I have no other rule or principle.
In Thyself, Mother, Thou hast made Truth concrete, real, tangible to us; we can see it, follow it, live it. By identifying myself with Thee, I shall be identified with the Truth; Thou wilt lift me to Thy own height and give me Thy own status. That is the ideal of my sadhana, Mother; I know no other method or ideal.
That I still commit mistakes and errors, that I still fall into falsehood shows that my sadhana is not yet perfect. When every cell in my body, every idea in my mind, will know Thee and consciously follow Thy will, only then shall I rise above all error, all untruth. My whole being will be turned towards Thee, my mind will remain filled with Thy light, my heart will remain filled with the joy of Thy intimate touch and the members of my body will automatically carry on Thy work in Thy way — that is the state for which I’ am constantly aspiring, Mother.
* * *
Thou art the source of all my power, Mother, thou art the source of all my light and happiness. To remove completely all barriers and obstacles that stand between me and Thyself, Mother? that is my strenuous sadhana, moment by moment. The more I open myself to Thee, the fuller and happier I grow in life.
My old nature raised doubts in me, but did not give their solution; created longings and desires, but could not satisfy them; goaded me on to restless work, but showed no aim or end. Restless, doubtful, burning with unsatisfied longings and thirsts, that is the life, Mother, out of which Thy grace has drawn me out.
Thou hast solved all my doubts; Thou hast convinced me of the hollowness of my egoistic pursuits and desires; Thou hast shown to me the real aim and skill in work. To rise above my human ways and to manifest the divine in me through Thy grace, that is the secret, and I have set my whole soul upon it.
I have not to deny any of the real heeds and desires of my soul, but have to turn to Thee for their real fulfilment. I have only to discard the falsehood and pretence which hides my true self from me. Drinking deep in the fountain of all joy and light and power, I shall grow into the fullest, the richest, the happiest life.
We must cut ourselves off completely from our old life and our old habits, and patiently wait in peace and silence aspiring after a new birth in a new life; only then will the higher force descend into us and carry out our transformation.
As long as we keep up a sort of compromise with our old self and our old life, we raise a great obstacle to the working of the higher force in us. Currents and influences constantly enter into us from the life of the race, which tend to keep us bound to the average level of humanity. We must give up all our attachments, cast off our old nature as a worn-out garment or shell, and raise a wall of protection around us, so that nothing from the outside world may touch or affect us; only under these conditions a new nature, a new life will begin to form in us.
As the caterpillar runs away from its familiar fields of branches and leaves, giving up all its old habitual movements, finds out a secluded corner in some high place far above the ground, and casting a web of protection round itself waits in perfect calm and silence to be turned into a butterfly, even so we must completely retire into ourselves, cut off from the outside world, and in perfect calm and silence seek a new birth, a new life in Thee, other; only then shall we cast off our humanity and realise the divine life for which we are destined.
The great transcending sky leaned from above
In silence kisses the aspiring earth;
Its vast unbounded space
Locked in the close embrace,
It turns the stainless void to sapphire love.
The one immutable Truth to souls below
In mystic union far beyond all time
Bends through the world’s play-bars,
Its suns and moons and stars
Are pale reflections from that Love sublime.
The Morning Star
Far hast thou travelled from Light’s unseen plane
Bringing the dawn ray of Eternity.
But oft thy missioned gaze has sought in vain
My sleep-bound eyes through windows barred to thee.
Life after life, into mortality’s sway
I fall; but still thou seekest me every morn,
Luring my soul to find the heavenward way,
A sudden glimmer in a heart forlorn,
Star-pointing to the endless joy of love
That leans towards earth from the Unknown above.
A Vision of the Self
The snow-capped high Himalaya that stands
Braving all storm, the boundless sky, the sea
Give but a faint glimpse of the Self to me;
Beyond all mortal ties my heart expands.
I am a peer of the stars unsullied bright
That in immutable silence look below
Upon the waves of earthly joy and woe,
Untouched, unfaltering in their course of light.
Frail life imprisoned in this mould of clay,
Brief dark stage in the journey of my soul
With Freedom, Love, Divinity the goal,
Not ever-doomed to suffer and decay.
At every turn Thou meetest me, O my King,
The sky in trance, the ever-wakeful sea
Thy aspects show; the flaming notes that bring
The cuckoo to her mate
With charm immortal draw all hearts to Thee.
Shooting their branches heavenward, green in faith,
The trees aspiring wait,
The wind blows with the sweetness of thy breath.
The world at play on its swing of suns and stars that gleam
Eternally, — all open only a gate
To endless miracles hidden in Thy Self Supreme.
An echo from Thy honied flute
Comes floating over earth’s agonies;
It fills my heart with a longing mute,
The dream of a joy that never dies.
It brings from far enchanting shades
A tune of Love’s eternal play
In groves where the full moon never fades
And blossomed cheeks have no decay.
Why weep’st thou the fall of a rose, ah why —
For the bloom that has had its day?
Or grievest for earthly joys that fly
At the end of their transient play?
The songs of birds and the air and the sky
Call thee to break thy chains
Of vain desire — vain and dry,
Hugging to the heart thy pains!
Take, O take what this world can give
In forms of beauty and grace —
The charms that the sun-set cloud-ways weave,
The smiles on a human face.
So growing in love and bliss, with thy soul
Released from all alloy,
In the All-Beautiful reach thy goal,
In the home of immortal joy.
Dissolve thyself, dissolve; let thy own hand
Kindle the funeral pyre,
All that thou wast, consume. This sole demand
Thy Master makes, to find life through this death.
The glory of the sacred fire
Of sacrifice shall move supernal Grace,
A hidden light shall burst, leap forth a breath
Of spring unknown to man’s desire!
Clinging to darkness tremblest thou to face
The ordeal flame? Snap, snap thy ancient chains with faith
In its Phoenix charm for the aspiring earth —
Let all the riches gathered in thy life’s long race
Be moulded by its alchemy to a greater birth.
A Summer Night
The night is cool; the oppressive glare of day
Has left no trace on earth; a landward breeze
Freshening and blowing through the spring-decked trees
Echoes the ceaseless roar of a troubled bay.
The young Moon with the monsoon clouds at play
Sends forth a dreamy gaze; a distant flute
Is marred by the barking of a haunted brute;
Forces of darkness hold the world in sway.
A thousand thought-forms racing through the mind,
Feelings of hope and fear, of joy and woe
That rise and fall like waves tossed by the wind —
Where are they shaped? Towards what goal their flow?
Nothing affects the Soul’s eternal sky
That watches in silence all this passing by.
I stand aside from Time’s domain,
The world rolls on before my eyes,
An interminable sea of sighs;
Benighted creatures struggle in vain
Against the ruthless sway of foes
Unseen, unknown, that daily forge
New chains, new torture slow but sure.
It was not once that Christ, the Pure,
Bled on the Cross, but every day
In thousand hearts he is nailed again!
All truth is mocked; this lump of clay
Distorts all love and beauty’s call;
Man’s quest of pleasure brings but pain.
The soul aroused now measures the fall
From its Divinity, and, lo!
The darkness faints before the glow
Of aspiration; nothing can
Repress the tiny spark in man,
Which waits to make him a living flame
Of all-engrossing love, that will
Redeem this clay, transmute all pain
To marvellous joy, and thus fulfil
Earth’s ancient dream and Heaven’s claim.
I stand aside from Time’s domain,
The world rolls on before my eyes,
A new Light dawning in its skies —
The Cross hath not been borne in vain.
The sun is covered up by clouds,
Evening draws mutely near;
There is a secret Nature shrouds
In the still unstirring air.
Motionless the trees — they seem to pray;
The sea is hushed and the sky;
Looks pale with patches of black and grey,
Long dulnesses tiring the eye.
But now the horizon flares; and bright
Colours to colours run,
And the clouds are changed to liquid light —
For the earth has kissed the Sun.
Thy face is like a sacred dawn
Revealed to our dim mortal eyes,
A moment’s glow of Paradise;
Thy voice, heaven’s flute-call, draws me on
To a quest of maddening love; and Thy breath
Sweetness as of a breeze in May,
Is the dream of a joy that knows not death;
Thy touch transforms this inert clay
To a rapture-vessel filled to the brim,
And when my senses drinking deep
Thy honied beauty fall asleep
Intoxicated at Thy feet,
Exceeded is my human dream;
A mute clasp of the soul within,
Spirit with spirit twined, and in
Our union earth and heaven meet.
Thine is the fiery will that mocks
Ruthless thou shearest all that blocks
Our path to Paradise.
The thunders whirl at Thy command,
O flaming, beautiful Mother!
Thou smitest with one mighty hand,
And savest with the other.
Pervasive of Thy tameless ire
Is an all-puissant love;
It leads us through the test of fire
To immortal gates above.
The Great Hour
One who has pierced the heart of ancient gloom
With swarming suns and stars, who has endowed,
The dreary face of earth with life and bloom,
Whose tireless and infallible hands have ploughed.
Barren and pathless ages evolving this
Heaven-bound race of men born out of his
Immortal self, so long enwrapped by cloud,
Leads now the way to earth’s supreme release
From suffering and death, and opens the gate
To Life Divine. The hour’s a-throb with fate.
Forces of darkness rise in all their might
Against the march of dawn; but vain their fight
To hold their mortal sway; their frantic rush
To upset and baffle only deepens the hush
Of new creation; no stumbling human power,
A high omniscience moulds the poignant hour.
A patch of unnoticed shapeless grey
Perched above the blue rim of the sea,
In storm-dust engulfs the light of day,
Veils the sky, all-radiant and free.
My mind is ensnared by gilded show,
Smoky still the offering of fire,
Surprised is the heart by joy and woe,
Racked the flesh by tyrannous desire.
O Mother all-puissant, Grace Divine!
Still the roving senses into sleep,
Dispelling the shadows make me shine —
Sweet Thy smile for ever in the deep.
(This poem is written in the new metre invented by Sri Aurobindo in his poem “Trance”. In the first line two amphibrachs are followed by a cretic, in the second line the first foot is a cretic, the second an amphibrach and the last an anapaest.)
Let one desire consume me day and night
Seizing my body and soul — one golden flame
Absorbing all my roving passions’ might
Ceaselessly rise to Thee
Making of this my fragile mortal frame
A glowing vessel of Thy new-born Light
That hovers on earth and sea
In evening hush and moon-god’s crystal flight.
The fault, the lapse in thousandfold detailed things,
The ego’s small claims blindly indulged by men, —
This forms a dark impervious layer
Screening the sunwhite Eternal Presence.
This human life so tangled in mortal bonds,
This shifting chaos fretted with hopes belied,
Thou weavest into heavenly patterns,
Colour and beauty and joy and wonder.
There is no sorrow racking the human soul,
But heals at once its ache when the heart is held
In Thy serene and blissful Presence;
Rent the oppression, the veil of darkness.
(In Alcaic measure as shown by Sri Aurobindo in “Jivanmukta”.)
No darksome power can take away from me
Thy gift of inexpressible joy and peace;
Behind all mortal suffering I see
The marching waves of Thy immortal bliss.
Unquenchable is the soul’s deep thirst for love
That keeps me, Mother, at Thy lotus feet;
While Thy compassion flows down from above,
Dire circumstance I need not fear to meet.
Dauntless I stand, immutable as a rock,
The world can no more wear upon its face
The old mask of sorrow and death; each trenchant shock
Brings me but closer into Thy embrace.
Gently I am lifted out of earthly strife,
And feel Thy Love transforming all my life.
Born of Thy spirit, moulded from Thy clay,
I bear Thy agonies within my soul;
Through me Thou keenly aspirest night and day
To rend Thy mortal veil, and reach the goal
Of Immortality. I love Thee, Earth,
With all the passion of a filial heart.
Through ages Thou hast shaped my human birth,
Preluding Life Divine; I’ll play my part
Faithfully, my Mother; and will never fly
To liberation far away from Thee;
My soul is tuned with earth and sea and sky,
I feel my kinship with the humblest tree.
Thy bosom is my heaven, and Thou the Queen
Who will for ever my allegiance win.
In lotus-groves Thy spirit roves: where shall I find a seat for Thee?
To Thy feet’s tread — feet dawn-rose red — opening my heart Thy throne shall be.
All things unlovely hurt Thy soul:
I would become a stainless whole:
O World’s delight, All-beauty’s might! unmoving house
Thy grace in me.
An arid heart Thou canst not bear:
It is Thy will — love’s bonds to wear:
Then by Thy sweetness’ magic completeness make me
Thy love’s eternal sea.
(Translated by Sri Aurobindo from a Bengali song.)
The Heart of My Heart
You are the heart of my heart, O Mother!
You are the light of my eyes, O Sweet!
Seeking in you alone my final refuge
Life is fulfilled at your radiant feet.
When I am afraid with the fear of the tempest
I bury my face in your lap for the while.
The mind’s imperfections, the myriad darkness
Are washed into light in the stream of your smile.
This difficult path I am treading, O Mother!
Is slippery, tangled with thorns, and unsafe.
At every turn under chains of my forging
Which ring at each footfall, I tremble and chafe.
When I cry out to you, “O my Mother! my Mother!”
Deep into my breast what a power you pour!
Removing all obstacles, in the black darkness
You kindle a splendour unkindled before.
The seers and the sages through ages and ages.
Have striven to fathom your Beauty so long!
A million poets have wrought their salvation
By singing your Infinite Wonder in song.
But alas! I have neither the power of the poet,
Nor knowledge of sages nor training of seers!
Yet, all that I know is to empty my bosom
And love you, O Love, in a rapture of tears.
(Translated by Harindranath Chattopadhaya from a Bengali song.)
Upon this mortal earth Thou buildest a garden of Paradise,
O Mother of dreams, Mother victorious!
Overwhelmed with wonder the heart lies prostrate at Thy feet,
O Mother victorious!
Saints and great souls sing to Thee in adoration,
O Mother omnipotent, Mother victorious!
Blind darkness fall faint and numb before the arrows of Thy Light,
O Mother victorious!
Saviour from all evil, deliverer from pain is Thy Great Name,
O Mother victorious!
A home of safety is the refuge at Thy feet,
O Mother of Bliss, Mother victorious!
The fear of death and age vanishes today,
O all-conquering Mother, Mother victorious!
The seas of sorrow disappear at the touch of Thy Grace,
O Mother of Peace, Mother victorious!
The sheen of gold pales before Thy hue that enthrals my soul,
O Mother of Light, Mother victorious!
In the heart of the devotee Thou art the delight that is heaven’s nectar,
O Mother of Love, Mother victorious!
(Translated by Nolini Kanto Gupta from a Bengali song.)
O Guide of the Way, how far is it? still how far?
He whose sweet flute-call I hear within my heart,
And it fills my soul with yearnings unknown,
Is this the path where he shall meet my sight?
— “No other path is there.”
The farther I advance, the longer stretches the road,
Tired are mind and body. Is it so, alas,
That all my life must be spent? Is there not an easier way
Known to thee, O my Guide?
— “No other path is there.”
The unfrontiered desert spreads its waste of fire,
No food is here for my hunger, no water for my thirst;
Insurmountable rise the mountains, violent is the speed of the rivers;
O Friend, is this indeed the path?
— “No other path is there.”
Many gilded illusions come that charm the heart
And they put out the Light on the Way, enemies numberless
Shoot from day to day their arrows, and escape there is none;
— “This the path by which thou must go —
No other path is there.”
Who art thou that art ever by my side and givest comfort and assurance?
Thy gaze mixes with mine, O thou Compassionate,
And all sorrow is forgotten at thy touch.
Thy path I will follow,
— No other path is there.
Oh, my thirsting soul has recognised thee,
Thine the sound of the flute, sweet like a cascade of nectar;
Cast off thy disguise, hide thyself from me no more —
All my journeying ends today at thy feet, O Beloved!
(Translated from the Bengali by Nolini Kanto Gupta.)
THE DIVINE MOTHER
……The One whom we adore as the Mother is the divine Conscious Force that dominates all existence, one and yet so many-sided that to follow her movement is impossible even for the quickest mind and for the freest and most vast intelligence. The Mother is the consciousness and force of the Supreme and far above all she creates. But something of her ways can be seen and felt through her embodiments and the more seizable because more defined and limited temperament and action of the goddess forms in whom she consents to be manifest to her creatures.
There are three ways of being of the Mother of which you can become aware when you enter into touch of oneness with the Conscious Force that upholds us and the universe. Transcendent, the original supreme Shakti, she stands above the worlds and links the creation to the ever unmanifest mystery of the Supreme. Universal, the cosmic Mahashakti, she creates all these beings and contains and enters, supports and conducts all these million processes and forces. Individual, she embodies the power of these two vaster ways of her existence, makes them living and near to us and mediates between the human personality and the divine Nature.
The one original transcendent Shakti, the Mother stands above all the worlds and bears in her eternal consciousness the Supreme Divine. Alone, she harbours the absolute Power and the ineffable Presence; containing or calling the Truths that have to be manifested, she brings them down from the Mystery in which they were hidden into the light of her infinite consciousness and gives them a form of force in her omnipotent power and her boundless life and a body in the universe. The Supreme is manifest in her forever as the everlasting Sachchidananda, manifested through her in the worlds as the one and dual consciousness of Ishwara-Shakti and the dual principle of Purusha-Prakriti, embodied by her in the Worlds and the Planes and the Gods and their Energies and figured because of her as all that is in the known worlds and in unknown others. All is her play with the Supreme; all is her manifestation of the mysteries of the Eternal, the miracles of the Infinite. All is she, for all are parcel and portion of the divine Conscious-Force. Nothing can be here or elsewhere but what she decides and the Supreme sanctions; nothing can take shape except what she moved by the Supreme perceives and forms after casting it into seed in her creating Ananda.
The Mahashakti, the universal Mother, works out whatever is transmitted by her transcendent consciousness from the Supreme and enters into the worlds that she has made; her presence fills and supports them with the divine spirit and the divine all-sustaining force and delight without which they could not exist. That which we call Nature or Prakriti is only her most outward executive aspect; she marshals and arranges the harmony of her forces and processes, impels the operations of Nature and moves among them secret or manifest in all that can be seen or experienced or put into motion of life. Each of the worlds is nothing but one play of the Mahashakti of that system of worlds or universe, who is there as the cosmic Soul and Personality of the transcendent Mother. Each is something that she has seen in her vision, gathered into her heart of beauty and power and created in her Ananda.
But there are many planes of her creation, many steps of the Divine Shakti. At the summit of this manifestation of which we are a part there are worlds of infinite existence, consciousness, force and bliss over which the Mother stands as the unveiled eternal Power. All being there live and move in an ineffable completeness and unalterable oneness, because she carries them safe in her arms for ever. Nearer to us are the worlds of a perfect supramental creation in which the Mother is the supramental Mahashakti, a Power of divine omniscient Will and omnipotent Knowledge always apparent in its unfailing works and spontaneously perfect in every process. There all movements are the steps of the Truth; there all beings are souls and powers and bodies of the divine Light; there all experiences are seas and floods and waves of an intense and absolute Ananda. But here where we dwell are the worlds of the Ignorance, worlds of mind and life and body separated in consciousness from their source, of which this earth is a significant centre and its evolution a crucial process. This too with all its obscurity and struggle and imperfection is upheld by the Universal Mother; this too is impelled and guided to its secret aim by the Mahashakti.
The Mother as the Mahashakti of this triple world of the Ignorance stands in an intermediate plane between the supramental Light, the Truth life, the Truth creation which has to be brought down here and this mounting and descending hierarchy of planes of consciousness that like a double ladder lapse into the nescience of Matter and climb back again through the flowering of life and soul and mind into the infinity of the Spirit. Determining all that shall be in this universe and in the terrestrial evolution by what she sees and feels and pours from her, she stands there above the Gods and all her Powers and Personalities are put out in front of her for the action and she sends down emanations of them into these lower worlds to intervene, to govern, to battle and conquer, to lead and turn their cycles, to direct the total and the individual lines of their forces. These Emanations are the many divine forms and personalities in which men have worshipped her under different names throughout the ages. But also she prepares and shapes through these Powers and their emanations the minds and bodies of her Vibhutis, even as she prepares and shapes minds and bodies for the Vibhutis of the Ishwara, that she may manifest in the physical world and in the disguise of the human consciousness some ray of her power and quality and presence. All the scenes of the earth-play have been like a drama arranged and planned and staged by her with the cosmic Gods for her assistants and herself as a veiled actor.
The Mother not only governs all from above but she descends into this lesser triple universe. Impersonally, all things here, even the movements of the Ignorance, are herself in veiled power and her creations in diminished substance, her Nature-body and Nature-force, and they exist because moved by the mysterious fiat of the Supreme to work out something that was there in the possibilities of the Infinite she has consented to the great sacrifice and has put on like a mask the soul and forms of the Ignorance. But personally too she has stooped to descend here into the Darkness that she may lead it to the Light, into the Falsehood and Error that she may convert it to the Truth, into this Death that she may turn it to godlike Life, into this world-pain and its obstinate sorrow and suffering that she may end it in the transforming ecstasy of her sublime Ananda. In her deep and great love for her children she has consented to put on herself the cloak of this obscurity, condescended to bear the attacks and torturing, influences of the powers of the Darkness and the Falsehood, borne to pass through the portals of the birth that is a death, taken upon herself the pangs and sorrows and sufferings of the creation, since it seemed that thus alone could it be lifted to the Light and Joy and Truth and eternal Life. This is the great sacrifice called sometimes the sacrifice of the Purusha, but much more deeply the holocaust of Prakriti, the sacrifice of the Divine Mother…
(From “The Mother” by Sri Aurobindo)