The year 1934
During certain periods, there is neither inner nor outer mind but a quiet blank!
It is a very favourable condition for the higher workings.
You have written of the spirit becoming self-aware. Is there any distinction between spirit and Self or between Self and the psychic?
There is no distinction between the Self and the spirit. The psychic is the soul that develops in the evolution — the spirit is the Self that is not affected by the evolution, it is above it — only it is covered or concealed by the activity of the mind, vital and the body. The removal of this covering is the release of the spirit — and it is removed when there is a full and wide spiritual silence.
The coming of the peace makes it easier to get the experience of the pure and free Self.
In the blank consciousness the Purusha watches and there is also an aspiration in the Purusha for the release of the Self. But what exactly would the release mean?
When one becomes aware of the Self calm, silent wide, universal, it is no longer covered by the ignorance, when one identifies with the Self and not with the mind, life and body and their movements or with their small ego, that is the release of the Self.
You have said that the spirit or Self is covered or concealed by the activity of the mind, vital and the body. But would not the mind’s aspiration help the spirit to uncover itself?
Yes, but to feel the full silence one must be capable of suspending all mental and vital activity.
Is it possible to have the release of the Self without the outer nature rising upward to the higher Prakriti?
And how is the outer nature to rise into the higher Prakriti before you realise the Self? The higher nature is that of the higher consciousness of which the first basis is the peace and wideness and realisation of the Self, the One that is all.
In the quietness or silence, should not one feel the Mother’s Force working?
If one feels, it is all right — but it does not always happen. The quietness, silence, or peace is a basis for the extension of consciousness, the coming of higher experiences or realisations etc. In what way or order they come differs according to the individual nature.
You are seeking for Self-realisation — but what is that Self if not the Mother’s self. There is no other.
As the soul, the psychic being, is in direct connection with the Divine and is a part of Him, so too is Self the Atman. Why then does one not feel intimacy with the Divine while realising the Self as one experiences during the soul-realisation?
The Self has two aspects, passive and active. In the first it is pure silence, wideness, calm, the inactive Brahman, in the second it is the Cosmic Spirit, universal not individual. One can feel in it union or oneness with the Mother. Intimacy is a feeling of the individual, therefore of the psychic being.
Do the two aspects of the Self come one after the other?
Usually they are there one after the other and remain separate till the Supermind is being prepared.
Does the first aspect remain always as mere silence, wideness and calm? Is there no further step?
Not until the final change, when calm and action are fused into each other. Except that strength may come in before that and a strong wide calm be experienced. That happens when the true vital emerges.
The Peace, Purity and Calm of the Self must be fixed — otherwise the active Descent may find the forces it awakes swayed on by lower Powers and a confusion created. That has happened with many.
What is this influence felt in my navel centre?
It is an influence from the wider self above occupying the vital.
Why do I feel blankness at times? Is it really usual during this state of sadhana?
Yes, that is a usual experience when that state comes.
There is an impression that my concentration is now located on the head.
On the head means what — above it or just on the top outside? In any case it is an important movement in the direction of self-realisation.
On the head means outside and just on it (like a cap or cloth) or skull around the head but in the top part.
Since this morning there is a warm intoxication fringed with cooler peace. What is this simultaneous experience of the two contraries?
It is the Agni and the peace together.
Why do I have a station in the forehead centre instead of in the heart?
The station in the heart centre is for the psychic opening. What you are at present doing is the upward opening to the Self and for that the inner mind centre is the proper station.
I feel a rising movement skywards.
It is very good that the consciousness is realising this movement.
Is the experience that I feel as Shanti really Shanti?
If it seems like Shanti — otherwise why should you use the word? — it may be a happy calm or a very calm Ananda.
When my consciousness is in the Self I lose the sense of the body. It then experiences itself as wider and in absolute peace — as if it were nothing but Shanti.
That is how one feels when one is living in the silent Self.
Kindly tell me where the source of peace, silence etc. is?
As I told you it is a thing for you to feel not for me to tell. The centre of silence, peace etc. as you feel them now is above, so it must be there. But you must be conscious and able to feel it there.
What is this constant spell of the Spirit I feel in me?
There is no spell of the Spirit there is the consciousness of it in you.
Sometimes I feel a thread-like connection between my head-centre and some planes far beyond me.
That is very often how one feels the connection with the higher levels.
I wrote to you that at present my consciousness is not only living in the Self but itself becoming that. Is it not a little too much to say so?
It is quite possible at this stage.
You said, “One need not think of it (self) by any word or name. One simply is that.” What is exactly meant by your last sentence?
One simply is that (pure existence) but one does not put a name on it.
My consciousness passes hours and hours in pure existence and pure consciousness, is there no fear of ever?
No. It is taking time so as to establish these things well.
What about my study at present?
Your study is of not much importance at present. The passive self has to be fixed and extended.
When in the consciousness of the Self why do I seem to lose the sense of time and space?
In the self or pure existence there is no time or space — except spiritual space or wideness.
Does the universal aspect of the Self take a long time to follow the individual aspect?
It varies with different people. With some the universality comes first.
Today, I felt that the pure-existence is descending into my being. What is more I experienced the descent in a material form.
The pure-existence is not something abstract but substantial and concrete. Moreover it is descending into the body, so it is quite natural to feel it materially.
The Self extends its influence more and more. Even my body feels it and remains intoxicated most of the time. This perhaps shows that the subconscient and mechanical mind and all other parts are under its spell?
At present my consciousness feels that, instead of letting it go higher or deeper, the Mother is making me fix what has already been achieved. Thus something will remain stabilised for good.
That is what is being done.
Being in the Self, am I now living in the Mother’s consciousness? And are not all actions coming from that true consciousness?
What do you mean by coming from the true consciousness? The pure existence consciousness does not initiate any action. Actions come through it either from the ordinary nature or from the Mother’s Force.
In fact I don’t actually know what is meant by living in the Mother’s Consciousness. I wrote simply thinking that to dwell in the Self-consciousness is only the first step towards living in the Mother’s Consciousness.
Yes, it is the first step. Afterwards the silent self gets filled up with the Mother’s active consciousness, the true consciousness, without the fundamental silence being disturbed — then all the action can become more and more the true action.
I wrote to you that the Mother has brought down what I had experienced above. But now I find that She has opened other greater levels above. Thus there will remain above always something higher than what comes down.
Yes, up to the Supermind there are ranges above ranges.
For the last two days, I have felt a direct connection with something just a little above the Brahmic passage of the head. Something of it remains in touch with that passage, which feels it as a thing floating up above it.
It may be the thousand-petalled lotus which is the centre of the higher consciousness.
It is something new to me when my consciousness feels a depth in the heart and a height on the head simultaneously.
That is what should be.
You wrote, “All that dissatisfaction is of course an ignorant objection of the lower vital which does not know how the higher consciousness works or even what is real fullness.” Will you kindly enlighten me how the higher consciousness works and what is a real fullness, since I too am as ignorant about it as is the vital?
By knowing I do not mean mental ideas about it — I mean it has not the consciousness and feeling of what these things are.
What my physical mind considers as emptiness or nothingness — is it not a pure working of the higher consciousness?