The year 1934
Two hours after the Pranam I felt something from above descending. It was not only the Force. I am used to recognising its descent. Is it the higher consciousness as a whole then? I am not yet definite about it. It came down only after a sound preparation of two hours, blankness and emptiness.
It will have to be seen — it can hardly be the higher consciousness as a whole — in the sense of that with all its contents — it may be the essential power of the higher consciousness.
At present the pure existence has surcharged the whole being. Excepting an occasional feeling of something descending from above there is no feeling, no movement. What is it then?
We shall have to wait till it becomes precise. If the whole being is surcharged with the pure existence, it is true something first came down. Perhaps the descent is that something first.
There is a great pressure on all the centres of my consciousness to focus their concentration on the higher being. But the external centres are still too much under the influence of the mechanical mind to come up in consciousness.
These things also can be quieted — but it is more likely to happen when the higher consciousness Force is there all through in the calm and silence.
The silence of the pure-existence takes part in nothing, but it can support anything.
All work can be done in the blankness and silence.
The being is not supposed to remain always empty. When the calm and peace of the pure existence is established Force also has to descend as well Light, Ananda and other things.
I am not aware of those who have stabilised it (peace and silence) in a few weeks there may be one or two who got it comparatively quickly.
What actually did you want to convey by saying “the descent of the Force”? I already feel the Force.
The descent in the whole being of the Divine Strength. I do not mean the working of the Force which is there always.
One thing needs to be made clear. You wrote, “There is no such thing as emptiness, it is pure existence, silence etc.” Why then does it create a feeling of voidness, a suspension of all sadhana?
It is because there is no activity and the outer consciousness is accustomed to be always thinking, feeling or doing something.
Since the day before yesterday there is a feeling of a strong Force existing not only within me but around me up to a foot’s distance. The form of the force is very dense.
That is good — it must be the beginning of being conscious beyond the body.
It is difficult for me to appreciate the present condition of dumbness. It is a state beyond blankness where no thinking, feeling, or acting ever intrudes. There is simply a consciousness and Shanti — no contact with the entire nature.
That is the pure static Atman consciousness or separate Purusha consciousness. Purusha separated from Prakriti is like that, Atman separated from Maya (I don’t mean Illusion) or Shakti is like that. This is the static side of being, the other the dynamic must manifest in that.
I feel that I should not at present aspire for anything in particular, but to leave it to the Mother to choose what she thinks my need.
That is all right for the present. But there must be a consciousness of what is next needed — (1) release into silent wideness (2) descent of Force so as to make the peace solid and dynamic.
The Brahmic passage (the top of the head) remains open all the time. It is felt like an open window. Does it not denote a keen working of the higher planes? The pressure is all over the head.
It is necessary for the wide Atman realisation, the liberation from the body consciousness and other things that must come.
I do not understand what has happened at pranam this morning. It seems something strange when I see myself neither in the body consciousness nor in any definite centre.
It is the usual condition when one has formed the connection with the centre above the head and is realising the self. Then there is no location of the consciousness — it is everywhere. Only in your case you do not seem to feel this wideness or everywhereness — as yet the feeling seems to be only negative, not of everywhereness but of nowhereness. Is it like that, actually?
Yes. I do feel nowhereness rather than everywhereness. Why so?
It is because you have not yet spread out in the realisation of the Atman everywhere.
“It is the active transformation of the physical that cannot be completely done without the supramental descent.” Could you kindly explain to me what the active and the passive transformations are?
The passive is the peace and calm, the active is the change of the functionings.
My consciousness has grown very unconscious of the body. It does not feel in the least what the physical holds in itself (i.e. when there is some heavy thing in my hand, not only do I not experience any weight, but there is no sense of the existence of the thing itself).
That is usually a result of the peace and silence and of the Atman realisation. It brings a liberation from the body identification.
When I rub my body with my hand I feel no substance — as flesh, bones, etc. — in the physical frame.
That happens when one has the silence and separation from the body.
I cannot make out why I felt loneliness. It is said one gets into it only when he is deserted by his true self. Surely I am in my real self.
If there is any part of the being that does not share in the realisation, it may throw this sense of loneliness.
If there is loneliness one should get down the peace and presence in that part to cure the loneliness.
Yesterday’s experience of Self-realisation seems to have withdrawn today.
It is usually so with new or yet unestablished experiences.
The nature takes a long time to be able to keep the higher condition without a break.
Strengthen the peace — higher power in the will (Tapas); extension and continuity of peace and self-realisation; if possible descent of a Force removing the Tamas and vital difficulty.
When one is in the immutable Atman or Brahman, does not one usually prefer to keep oneself all aloof even from the higher knowledge?
Not necessarily. The immutable Brahman is only base for the transcendent action which comes down into its peace and silence and fills it with power also and Ananda and the light of knowledge.
A definite and conscious change was felt after the Mother’s coming down for the evening meditation. For a time, I felt myself above the head and the body was simply hanging down below me.
That is a very important development.
 Uncertain reading