The year 1934
If I remain withdrawn an intense peace is felt. The mind gives too high a value to it and thinks that without it there can be no possibility of going even one step further.
One can go forward even if there is not peace — quietude and concentration are necessary. Peace is necessary for the higher states to develop.
The silence, at least the quietude, was there for the whole day. During such a state shouldn’t one feel the Mother’s Force working in the being?
If one feels it is all right — but it does not always happen. The quietness, silence or peace is a basis for the extension of consciousness, the coming of the higher experiences or realisations etc. In what way or order they come differs according to the individual nature.
I could not quite understand the passage: “Peace we must have, but not the peace of a devastated nature or a mutilated capacity incapable of unrest, because it is incapable of intensity.”
Not a tamasic peace which is at rest because it does not aspire after anything, is too tired by suffering and misfortune etc. to care for anything.
During work the mind was not very quiet. I observed at the same time the contradiction between the inner passivity, and the mechanical working of the outer nature, the intense activity of the Force working, and the insistent thinking of the outer mind. All this is rather perplexing!
Not at all. It often happens, even usually at this stage. You have to go on till the many parts are quieted down.
Usually I have to make an effort for a free receptivity with closed eyes. Today, however, I entered into a state where there was no need of any personal endeavour, and the receptivity was spontaneous with open eyes. What is the explanation?
It is the silence of the mind and vital — silence implying here not only cessation of thoughts but a stillness of the mental and vital substance. There are varying degrees of depth of this stillness.
You asked, “What is the exact nature of this pressure?”
When I withdraw for concentration a pressure, sometimes very powerful and intense, is felt on the entire spinal cord. If the concentration is continued for a long time the back gets tired.
There is no need to concentrate on it, if it comes as a natural result of the general withdrawal and concentration. I suppose, it is simply that the effort brings a concentration in the centres of the vital and physical to share in the stillness which the will acting through the mind is trying to impose on the nature.
All the time I feel in my being an energy which does not seem to be rajasic or sattwic. It disapproves of tamasic passivity, and quietly supports my actions, helping me to accomplish them steadily and harmoniously.
That is the beginning of what is called Tapas — though at first it tends to have a rajasic element.
As to the Force, you said, “It creates its own activities in the mind or elsewhere.” In that case the mind or any other part on which it acts will express only what the Force has created.
That is the ideal condition when the Force is the true Force only — but there is too much mixture in the nature for that to be possible at this stage of sadhana.
In that case, does it not mean that what my consciousness feels as the Force is not the real Force of the Mother?
I have said that it gets mixed with the action of the present mind, vital and body. That is inevitable since it has to work upon them. It is only after the transformation that it can be fully the Mother’s Force with no mixture of the separate personality. If the Divine Force in all its perfection without mixture were to act from the beginning, not taking any account of the present nature, then there would be no sadhana, only a miraculous substitution of the Divine for the Human without any reason or process.
Since the evening the working of the Force has begun. During the evening darshan of the Mother my consciousness opened itself before her more widely than ever before.
Very good. The Force usually works in that way with interruptions and returns growing each time stronger and fuller.
It is said that all experiences come in silence. But sometimes I find nothing coming in my silence.
All experiences come in the silence but they do not come all pell-mell in a crowd at the beginning. The inner silence and peace have first to be established.
Could I not leave the charge of my sadhana to the Mother’s Force? Why let my adhar think that it is doing it for the Mother?
The system has first to be accustomed to the Force working.
Today I felt as if someone other than myself was carrying out my actions. Of course I was there, but in the background. Was it not the Mother’s Force?
What you say amounts only to some glimpse of the cosmic Force behind all the actions.
I gather that the cosmic Force is behind all our actions whether we see it or not. Now, have we to open ourselves to this Force in order to arrive at the divine Force?
Not necessarily — for the perfect action it is necessary.
At the end of a certain experience, it was felt that something like an electricity shock passed through my physical being.
Electricity shock always indicates a passage of dynamic Force.
My psychological analysis indicates that it is not always possible for us, sadhakas, to let the Mother work in us spontaneously. For often something in us keeps off and closes the doors against her. I think the best course would be to develop our will-power, so that something might be always there to help us reopen the doors. I mean here the will not of the vital or mental kind but of the true power. Would you kindly enlighten me as to how to develop it?
The only way to do it is (1) to become aware of a conscious Force behind that uses the mind etc. (2) to learn by practice to direct that Force towards its object. I don’t suppose you will find it easy to do either of these things at once — one must first learn to live more deeply in the inner consciousness than you have done hitherto.
At present what I often feel is the silence and the Force.
They are the two first things that have to be frequent till they are stabilised.
If I do not allow any mental activity, through which agency will the Force act?
It creates its own activities in the mind or elsewhere.
There is a pressure on the head. Perhaps a higher Force is trying to descend and my being resists?
The being does not resist — if it did the pressure would disappear. It is some part of the nature which is not yet able to have the free flow so there is the pressure of the Force to make a way for itself.
Now there is no pressure of the Force. Does it mean that the Force has gone behind and works under a veil?
The action of the Force does not always create a pressure. When it does not need to press it acts quietly.
When I got up from sleep I found that a cold had already entered. My consciousness brought down the Mother’s Force and the cold disappeared. The same process was tried for other troubles too. I want to know if the method adopted for the Force was quite the right one.
It is quite the right way. It is very good that you are learning to use the Force.
The higher consciousness flows down perpetually with its force. Coming down the nose it has begun to work on my throat.
It has then touched the externalising mind centre.
During the evening meditation there were very powerful pressures inside the head. Is there any working started?
No — an extension of the working on the inner mind.
There were also sharp pressures on many parts of the face as with a pointed instrument.
All that is a working on the externalising mind.
During the blank state my consciousness shifts its lodging from the inner mind centre to the centre on the top of my head.
That is a first entry into the higher consciousness.
When the pressure on the temples of the head becomes stronger there comes a spontaneous tendency to soar upwards.
It is through the inner mind that one ascends — so that is quite natural.
There is such a prolonged pressure on the whole head that I am forced to remain withdrawn all the time. And the eyes have become like two balls of fire — so much so that I cannot keep them open easily for a while — they are as if intoxicated. How then shall I carry out my outer work?
If the pressure is too great, the remedy is to widen the consciousness. With the peace and silence there should come a wideness that can receive any amount of Force without any reactions, whether heaviness or compulsion to remain withdrawn or the difficulty of the eyes.
Some strong vibrations were felt when I went to the Mother for Pranam.
Strong vibrations are simply those of the force coming in.
Vibrations are either of a Force or a Presence.
Is it possible for me now to remain centrally in the pure-existence and direct the actions of the outer being by the true consciousness?
No, it is not yet possible. The true consciousness must be there in the mind and vital before that is done and the true consciousness is the psychic and the higher. What one can do before that is to use the mental will to direct the actions in the right way or to reject the things that have to be rejected. But this you had stopped when the silence, emptiness etc. came down.
Could I ask you why I had stopped that?
Because you thought you must leave everything to the Mother and not interfere.
There must be the rasa (in the work) but it comes when there is the dynamic descent of the Power.
What are the higher dynamic activities?
Knowledge, higher Will, Force, universal Ananda.
With a certain kind of will, I can quiet even the subconscient for a while. But a greater will-power is required for a constant hold.
That is one of the higher dynamic activities.
About the strength you wrote, “That can only come by the Force as well as the Peace descending.” I think I was wrong in taking that the Mother’s Force and Peace were already there.
You have not said that the Force of the Higher Consciousness has come down and settled itself in the body. It is only now that you are speaking of the descent of that Force. Mother’s Force is acting all the time, but that can act upon or through the ordinary consciousness also.