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At the Feet of The Mother

My World: The Mother – by Shanti Doshi (II)

You cannot understand all these problems until your thinking is quiet and mind silent.

14.1.1935

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It is good that your mind is able to control your vital; it is necessary that this control grows till your vital has no more power to upset you and depress you. If you can remain calm, you will see I am always by you to help you.

14.1.1935

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Q: How to bring about the change in the sex centre and turn the energy into a creative power, and ananda pure and divine?

A: By an infusion, little by little, of the Light into the centre.

15.1.1935

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Q: This morning there is a great depression making it impossible to study.

A: That cannot be allowed. Force yourself to study and that depression will go. Imagine yourself to be a student going to school and telling the teacher: “Sir, I have not done my exercises today as I was depressed.” Surely, the teacher would punish very severely.

16.1.1935

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Q: My being is still in a state of lower consciousness; gradually it is going worse.

A: Don’t you see that you are thinking a little too much about yourself? You appear to me like an imaginative patient who always feels his pulse to see if he has fever.

17.1.1935

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Q: I no more feel thy love; it is as if I did not know thee. I think it is the vital that feels all that.

A: Yes, and also the greater part of the physical consciousness.

19.1.1935

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Q: What must I do to feel thy love and peace?

A: Do not allow, any more, anything hostile to find expression through you.

21.1.1935

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Q: Would you tell me what I have permitted to thus express itself through me?

A: When your vital revolts you let it express its revolt and even all its impertinence. But perhaps you do not know the value of the words you use when you speak French.

22.1.1935

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Q: I see that I lack peace completely. At one time it was there in me.

A: Consequently there is no reason why you should not receive it again.

22.1.1935

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Q: Someone told me in dream that on one occasion there was no food at all for Sri Aurobindo and Thee. I said to him that if I were there he could cut me to pieces and serve. Which part of my being said this?

A: It is something from the physical consciousness responding to the influence of the psychic.

23.1.1935

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Q: Is it a fact that at one time there was divine reign everywhere? Satyayuga?

A: Certainly not on the earth.

23.1.1935

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Q: Will there be no end for the soul? Must it always take a body?

A: Not necessarily. But the soul has to arrive at a very great perfection in order to have the power to choose between the return to physical life and rest outside the manifestation.

23.1.1935

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Q: Often I wonder how men can live a life without joy, peace, love. How do they exist where there is no Truth?

A: They are not even aware of their not being in the Truth.

24.1.1935

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Q: I had thought that the soul is fully perfect by nature. Then what is meant by evolution of the soul?

A: The essence of the soul is divine, but the soul (the psychic being) grows through all the forms of evolution; it individualises itself more and more, becomes more and more conscious of itself and its origin.

24.1.1935

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I know the inner movements without one’s telling them to me. But to tell is good for the person who has the movements.

24.1.1935

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Q: I have the faith that one day I will realise Thee.

A: You are right in having the faith; it will lead you to the goal.

24.1.1935

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Q: I think that your action changes according to my state.

A: My action does not change; it is your way of seeing that does.

25.1.1935

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Q: I will try to keep calm and not get agitated.

A: Very good, indeed. If you try with persistence, you are sure to succeed.

25.1.1935

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Q: Why was my night yesterday so agitated?

A: No doubt you did not calm your mind before sleeping. One must always, before sleeping, begin with quieting the mind.

28.1.1935

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Studies strengthen the mind and divert the attention of concentration upon the impulses and desires of the vital. Concentration upon studies is one of the most powerful means to control the mind and vital; that is why it is so important to study.

28.1.1935

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Q: I think there is a difference between finding your presence and finding you in oneself.

A: If there be a difference it is quite subtle.

28.1.1935

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Q: I do so many things that do not conform to thee. There is so much to do and if I go on losing time, when will I be able to do it?

A: It is a matter of will. You must cultivate and strengthen your will; then time is no more whiled away in vain.

30.1.1935

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Q: T said she was getting ill.

A: Thus she purposely falls ill!

31.1.1935

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Q: I do not wish that others are affected by my depressions.

A: A very laudable sentiment; but the best would be if you yourself come out of the depression, thus you would not risk passing it on to others.

16.1.1935

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Q: I think too much of my own movements, wrong or otherwise. Hereafter I won’t write to you of them more than once.

A: No purpose would be served by not informing me about them, if you think so. On the contrary, if you tell me I can help you more easily.

18.1.1935

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Q: Why did you give me such a serious look at Pranam this morning? What fault have I done? I am unhappy.

A: I was serious this morning because I want you to get cured, to come back to a more true and more peaceful attitude. You should never doubt my love and solicitude.

19.1.1935

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Q: One part of me says it is not necessary to inform you of this incident but another part says that I must inform. I am inclined to the latter. What are those parts?

A: Both of them are parts of the physical mind; but one is submitted to the Divine Will while the other is not.

23.1.1935

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Q: One part is inclined to revolt, the other says it is better to submit than to revolt.

A: The same answer. The part which asks to surrender is already under the influence of the psychic.

23.1.1935

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Q: To know your will at each moment one must…

A: One must be very quiet within and very attentive.

24.1.1935

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Q: I like solitude very much.

A: Taste for solitude is, indeed, a very good thing.

25.1.1935

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What you have written in this letter pleases me for it shows that you can reflect and reason.

25.1.1935

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Q: There was again a depression, but it was removed by aspiration. Perhaps all hostility can be burnt out in the fire of aspiration; nothing can resist it.

A: Here again entirely true. My Blessings are with you, my dear child.

28.1.1935

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Q: There is some part in me which likes to help others; not to take anything from others but to give and give freely.

A: It speaks of a very good nature, but to be able to do that without danger, one must have complete control over oneself.

30.1.1935

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One does not study for pleasure; one studies to learn and develop mentally.

1.2.1935

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Q: If I am able to give up my life without hesitation the moment you ask for it, then only my love for you is real.

A: Evidently that is a perfect love; but one can arrive at it by stages.

Q: Is my physical consciousness turned entirely to you?

A: This also is a progressive condition.

2.2.1935

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Q: When you were very young, in your infant stage, did you know you are the Divine incarnate?

A: I was conscious.

2.2.1935

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Q: All that I do is not in conformity with thy truth. Is it all discordant?

A: All is not in conformity with the Truth, but neither is all discordant. There is a little of one and a little of the other.

4.2.1935

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Q: What should be my aspiration at present?

A: To make the mind clear and increase the consciousness.

4.2.1935

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Q: O Mother, on this earth, is there none but we two?

A: If what you write is for you a living experience, that is very good.

5.2.1935

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Q: “Till one sees the eternal truth in itself.” I do not understand the in itself.

A: I mean the pure Truth, without all the deformations that ensue from its manifestation in an obscure world.

6.2.1935

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Q: It is said that knowledge is already there within oneself. I believe the soul receives the knowledge from the eternal Truth and transmits it to the mind or the vital. Which is right?

A: I do not see any contradictory ideas. The Truth is received by the psychic which transmits it to the mind and vital.

6.2.1935

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Q: It looks to me that the victory is approaching.

A: Undoubtedly.

6.2.1935

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Q: If there is an illness that does not allow one to come to you for pranam, is it not possible that by sheer resolution to come to you, the illness may be suspended, at least for the time being?

A: Yes, it is possible, but for that one must have a faith intense enough and without contradiction in the being.

2.2.1934

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Q: Often I reflect after doing an act. If only I could reflect before doing this, I could avoid many wrong movements.

A: Yes, it is a very good habit to have to reflect for a few seconds before acting and ask oneself if that action is truly useful from the point of view of spiritual life.

4.2.1935

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Q: I report my experiences to you in order to get confirmation in the absence of which I do not believe them. Since you have not said anything regarding some that I have written about, I take it they are mental construction.

A: It is rarely that a thing is wholly good or wholly bad. That is why it is difficult, at times, to say anything.

6.2.1935

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Q: So many things appear to be true from outside but within they are false. One sees it clearly by throwing light upon it. You alone can give that light.

A: Yes, exactly. It is very difficult to discern the true from the false as long as one is not able to see the Eternal Truth in itself.

6.2.1935

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It is always dangerous to form intimacies; there is always a tendency for them to become ties.

6.2.1935

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Q: I do not understand the difference between the supramental and the Divine in this passage from Sri Aurobindo: “The psychic is not, by definition, that part which is in direct touch with the supramental plane. The psychic part of us is something that comes direct from the Divine and is in touch with the Divine.”

A: The Divine spoken of here is He who has been, all the time, in relation with the earth; the supramental is a new aspect of the Divine which has, till now, not been manifested on earth.

7.2.1935

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Q: What is the flame of Agni?

A: It is the flame of purification, the will for progress.

9.2.1935

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Q: What is the vital soul?

A: The vital soul is what the ancients call “anima”, that which animates, which gives life to the body. One calls it at times the etheric being.

11.2.1935

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Q: Once I imagined and wrote that the external action of the Mother is not of divine origin while the inner action is.

A: You confuse two different things. I may assure you that my action, whether inner or external, is always from divine origin. The uneasiness you feel is no proof of want of divinity in the action, but of want of plasticity and receptivity in your mental, your vital and your physical.

13.2.1935

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Q: My uneasiness continues. It looks as if aspiration alone is not enough to get relief.

A: It is only a true humility that can save you from these uneasinesses — humility which consists in knowing that, at the moment, you are totally incapable of understanding me and it is a presumptuous stupidity to want to judge me.

13.2.1935

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When I wrote again that I did not mean to understand, much less to judge her and was feeling miserable, she wrote:

A: Do not torment yourself; be tranquil. Certainly that part of you which speaks now never wanted to judge me.

It is in the calm that the being can unify itself around the highest aspiration.

14.2.1935

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Q: Then, which parts of my being wanted to judge you?

A: A part of the physical mind and the most material vital.

15.2.1935

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Q: Is it desirable that I speak on yoga to others who wish to hear from me?

A: I do not believe it is good for you to talk thus to people; that gives you the illusion that you have something to teach them and it does not help for humility in yourself.

18.2.1935

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Q: “To bring the Divine Love and Beauty and Ananda…” (Sri Aurobindo). What is meant by beauty here? Is it what people call beauty — beauty in things?

A: There is a beauty on all the planes of being up to the Divine Himself. The material beauty is only a very poor rendering of that.

5.3.1935

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Q: Is it not inadvisable for G. to speak to me of his sadhana?

A: That is not of much importance so long as you do not give him advice. However, as a general rule, the less one talks of sadhana, the better it is.

6.3.1935

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Q: What is within the depths of the being hardly matters unless it expresses itself on the surface.

A: What the inner being has is far from being without importance; but that is not sufficient.

7.3.1935

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Q: Is it possible to progress without encountering difficulties and obstacles?

A: No, the difficulties present themselves, but there is no reason at all why they should produce depression.

8.3.1935

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Q: What I write about the inner being must be all imagination, for I am not yet really conscious of it.

A: Your imagination is fairly correct, though incomplete. For there are many inner beings and their nature differs according to the plane to which they belong.

8.3.1935

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to be continued…

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