People are justifying all kinds of things such as impulses and opinions in the guise of surrender, and that is why Sri Aurobindo cautions us against tamasic surrender wherein one inertly accepts all kinds of suggestions as if coming from the Divine. Added to this we as human beings have a tendency to automatically justify everything.
One of the first things that awakens through yoga is the flame of discernment which is a faculty higher than reason. Its light separates the true from the false, reality from appearances and masks. This is the first light through which we can receive some reflection of the Divine Will. This light of discernment grows as we learn to stand back from our nature and its movements and quieten our mind. by turning the senses within rather in a discursive way outside. When the habit of justifying in some way whatever we do is dropped and we learn to look at things calmly and without preferences then this light begins to spring forth into the mind as a full moon shines upon a placid lake.
The next step is to quieten not only the mind but also the vital movements within us, that is to say the heart and its turbulent emotions, the storms of the vital passions and the restless upsurges of desires. This is gained by a steady practice of equanimity within us of which the practice of niskama karma or action without an eye on the fruits or results (but doing it well nevertheless) done as an offering to the Divine is an important element. When we have thus grown in equanimity at least to a reasonable extent then the Divine Will gets reflected in our mind or the heart as a gentle push in a certain direction.
Finally as a result of these and a growth of aspiration the psychic being within begins to emerge. It is then that we know with certainty the Divine Will, the sure indication of the thing to be done and the way to do it.
As you can well see that such a process is bound to take some time. Until then one has to make some working rules. These rules are not so much as do’s and don’ts or some rigid mental and moral dogmas but rather states of consciousness and a general understanding of the truths of yogic life. One such rule is the golden rule of this yoga given to the sadhaks by Sri Aurobindo thus:
Live always as if you were under the very eye of the Supreme and of the Divine Mother. Do nothing, try to think and feel nothing that would be unworthy of the Divine Presence. [CWSA 32: 172]
Another rule is the rule of balance and moderation that avoids excesses and activities that cause excitement and throws up our nature into a rough ride. A third rule is to feel out the actions that bring or create peace and harmony and inner joy and the spirit of unity as opposed to those that bring thrills and depressions and confusion and discord and quarrels and clashes.
In any case whatever we do must be done as an offering to the Divine so that eventually His Will may prevail upon our ignorant choice. This offering of our will to the Divine, that is doing what we may conceive as the best course of action at a given moment gradually starts the tuning process. it is what is known as consecration. There grows along with it the urge to obey the Divine which naturally in present context is not as it used to be before when people could write and get direct replies. now one has to feel for the response within. It invariably comes but we have to feel for it within as well as build a knowledge base, at least some general things by reading Sri Aurobindo and the Mother. This last one is well within our reach and the one closest to common sense and the basic logic of the yoga practice. Rest can develop alongside on this base.