I see you have let the demons of self-doubt and doubt in general and melancholy get inside again and sit down at your table.
At the Feet of The Mother
Dilip Kumar Roy
It is only divine love which can bear the burden I have to bear, that all have to bear who have sacrificed everything else to the one aim of uplifting earth out of its darkness towards the Divine.
If one’s highest natural vision is that of glimmering mists, it is equally natural to believe that all high vision is only a mist or a glimmer. But Light exists for all that — and for all that spiritual Truth is more than a mist and a glimmer.
There are two classes of things that happen in Yoga — realisations and experiences.
The eternal Reality is neither cold nor dry nor empty — you might just as well talk of the midsummer sunlight as cold or the ocean as dry or perfect fullness as empty.
As for the help, you expect a divine intervention to destroy the doubt, and the divine intervention is possible, but it comes usually only when the being is ready.
The increase of peace ... is very necessary because it is in the consciousness at peace that either the Power can work at ease or the Presence manifest itself.
That change of consciousness which was preparing in you because you were drawing back from the vital view of things — the vairāgya was only an outward and negative sign of that withdrawal.
What the Supramental will do the mind cannot foresee or lay down. The mind is Ignorance seeking for the Truth, the supramental by its very definition is Truth-Consciousness.