Daily Notes and Reflections by Alokda

It is a paradox of our times that we are flooded with information from every side but there is so little time for wisdom and true knowledge. We are busy with quantity and numbers, – whether on the cricket field or in our bank accounts, but we pay little time to reflect upon the quality of our life or to turn the money in our wallet and the success written on our visiting cards into ‘real’ values. Now, we are not suggesting, for one moment that money, success and informational knowledge are not important. But what we are trying to reflect upon and understand is ‘how’ to turn these things into ‘real’ value. For what we mean by this term is the real and lasting worth of our life.
There are things that are of temporary and moment value, there are things that are of lasting and abiding value and, there are things of eternal value. Very often we are unable to distinguish between these three leading to much confusion and avoidable suffering. And then we wonder why the very same thing that was means or supposed to give us happiness is causing so much suffering to us. But before we try to understand, let us see what these three levels of value are.

Let’s take an example, – the example of a rich and successful man. He has money in his pocket and a tag of high position on his visiting card. Because of these he is respected by people in his work place and by friends who seek to take advantage of his high position. Soon enough the man begins to mistake these things as an end in itself. Without even realizing he begins to seek ‘a high’ from these things as an addict from a drug. Greed and ambition begin to take the better of him until one day he lands up in the Coronary Care Unit or Cancer ward at a relatively young age. Or he finds himself alienated from his wife and children and true friends.

So what went wrong? If he carefully and sincerely looks within himself, he will discover to his discomfort, that in running the rat race to achieve things of momentary value, he did not pay attention to things of a more lasting value. He forgot to pay attention to his family, he forgot to pay attention to his health, he forgot to pay attention to many other small and sweet gifts of nature that make our life beautiful and happy, – such as, the simple joy of gazing at a flower in bloom, hearing a coil’s voice in summer, taking a quiet walk by a river-side or a pool, spending some time in nature with his family, giving time and attention to his children to educate them to become better citizens.

The result is what we see. We have money and comfort but no happiness and peace. We have insurance policies to ensure expensive medical care but no natural health and poor body resistance. We are surrounded by those who flatter us but not those who love us since we have slowly alienated them by our behavior. We begin to weigh everything in terms of its immediate utility and instant gratification and start seeking momentary thrills of the flesh and the palate. But soon there is satiety and we crave for more and more. Ever dissatisfied we move down a spiral of gloom and despair, disease and doubt, anxiety and fear.

But we could have taken another route, – the route of balance and moderation, giving at least as much importance to family and friends and other pursuits that help us progress and remain healthy as we did to money and ambition. Perhaps we thought, ignorantly like the murderous Ratnakar who later became Valmiki, the seer, that these things will bring happiness to my family and I can also buy health for them. We forgot that love and health cannot be brought. There is no price tag for these things and to acquire them we need to put in as much effort as we do now to satisfy our greed for money and position.

But there is more to our story of life. There is something else of an even greater value than health, happiness, family. It is something that is there with us before birth and will be with us after death. It accompanies us like a faithful friend and chases us like our own shadow. This thing of eternal value that we always carry with us is called in Indian thought as ‘Dharma’. Unfortunately dharma is poorly translated into English as Religion. But the word does not refer to any cult or sect or a particular religion, nor does it mean rituals etc. Dharma is the central Idea, the core Value, the very reason and principle value of our existence. Dharma is the great and solid foundation on which we build our life. That is why, the seers and sages of this great land, Bharata Varsha, chose to call it Sanatana Dharma, the eternal Law of Truth that none can escape from. It is Dharma that sets the wheel of creation moving and not our fanciful wishes, imaginations, hopes and planning. It applies equally to the rich and the poor, the strong and the weak, the king and the subject. It is the law of our own inner progress and evolution that carries us from life to life on the great sea of years. Dharma is the ship and if we do not care to build our ship well, we may well sink half way and feel defeated in the midst of our victory.

The ship of Dharma is built by our own hands. Our deeds, our thoughts, our feelings, our attitudes and motives, our will goes into the making of this ship. Therefore, the seers of Truth reveal to us what is the way to build a strong ship by showing us the path of Dharma; that is, the ideal way to live. They tell us that the core values of life are truth, honesty, courage, sincerity, nobility of temperament, generosity, kindness, compassion, charity, self-control, simplicity, beauty, wisdom, love. These things are of eternal value and if we have them or can acquire them, then the ship of our life will sail safely through every storm and we will emerge stronger and wiser with every trial.

But if we have neglected this side of our life, this spiritual and divine element then lasting peace and abiding happiness will always elude us. Therefore, it is worth the trouble to sit quietly for a few moments everyday and reflect whether, in the process of running blindly to win a coveted prize we are not neglecting and loosing upon this most important part of our living. If we are sincere and look at ourselves in a transparent mirror then we will have the answer and make the right choices. But if we fail to look into our souls then life and circumstances will compel us to look inside one day, hopefully, before it is too late.

To summarise, we may say that if money is lost, we can once again make it with our effort or cut down our desires to fit into our means. Besides, if we have given love and care to our family and friends they will be there to support us in a crisis. But if our relationships and our health suffers then money cannot buy it. Then it is only dharma, the strength of our inner being, our attitudes that can once again rebuild everything from scratch. That is why it is said that if money is lost then nothing is lost, if health and relationships are lost, then much is lost and, if dharma is lost then everything is lost.

Alok Pandey

The gods are great but greater than the gods is the human soul. In the human soul is seated all the glories and powers and greatness of the gods. The soul passes at first, in the early beginnings of its journey, through the Titanic worlds and the Titanic states; in the middle it tastes the glory and the splendour of the gods, the nectar of bliss that is also the nectar of Immortality, the Soma wine of the Vedas; but in the end, it rises beyond both evil and good, vice and virtue, sinfulness and righteousness, indeed beyond all dualities and opposites into the utter Unspeakable Truth from which all else is born. This is beautifully revealed in an interesting story, the legend of Sati Anasuya.

Sati, as the word signifies would mean one who is wedded to Truth. In later years as many words with a deep psychological and spiritual significance, such as yajna, āditya, varna, dharma etc got distorted, this profound word also came to assume a rather limited and fixed meaning. During periods of decline it first assumed the meaning of a total commitment and fidelity to the husband irrespective of what he did or how he treated the woman. An extreme result of this change was that a woman was supposed to die along with her husband if he were to die first. She was supposed to burn herself alive along with his dead body in the pyre. Those who could do so were declared as ‘Sati’ and worshipped or revered. Those who could not do so were looked down upon and had to remain largely indoors. They were regarded as inauspicious. The fallout of all this was that women started wishing to die before their husbands, even considering it as something sacred and blessed if she were to die before the man she loved and lived with. Whatever be the sentimental side of this last romantic wish, the actual custom of Sati was no doubt a grotesque and cruel thing which Vibhutis like Raja Rammohan Roy rightly fought to change. It is also possible that later the custom got enforced by social pressures arising from the invasions that India suffered through the Hindukush. Whatever be the reasons, the ancients did not mean this when they used the word Sati as a sign of reverence before a woman’s name. The steadfastness to Truth was the one thing, the absolute fidelity to the husband in thought, word and act was a secondary element quite naturally flowing out of the first. The story of Shakuntala is itself an indicator that Truth was greater than anything else and it is that to which both man and woman had to be faithful to.

And Truth is powerful, as we find in the story of Sati Anasuya who could humble even the gods by the power of Truth within her.

Like Lopamudra, Arundhati, Gargi, Anasuya [without jealousy] is a realized being. She is wife to another great rishi, Atri.

It so happens that one day Narada calls upon the three great goddesses, consorts of Brahma, Vishnu, Shiva, that is Saraswati, Lakshmi and Parvati and praises Anasuya’s steadfastness to Truth. The praise is in such terms that even the goddesses feel a touch of jealousy, – ‘How can a mere mortal be greater in consciousness and conduct than the gods?’ Though time and again the gods have been humbled when they let pride creep inside them, yet the lesson of humility is forgotten. They forget in their pride that however high and great these celestial beings may be, man has in him ‘something’ that can make him even greater than the gods. That is because unlike gods who are typal beings fixed to the role and function, man is an evolutionary being. Man carries in himself a spark or seed of the Divine Himself and if this seed is nurtured by vigilance and watered by spirituality, it will blossom and make him greater than the gods. But he has lent his heart and brain to the untruths of the Titans.

But Anasuya is different. She has grown in her inner stature greater than the gods. So they decide to test her. The three great gods, the trinity, visit her house in a Brahmin’s appearance and ask for food. Now Brahmins, in ancient India were meant to gather the deeper and higher knowledge. This required tremendous askesis, time and concentration. They could not afford to spend their energies in livelihood and the elaborate framework of life. Therefore the arrangement in the old social order was this that the Brahmins shared their knowledge and wisdom thus gathered with the society while, the society in turn took care of their earthly requirements. This was a neat arrangement, each giving his best for the good of all; the Shudra, his craftsmanship and service, the Vaishya his wealth and opulence, the Kshatriya his courage and strength to protect and the Brahmin the very highest gift, the gift of Knowledge. He looked after the most important of all needs, the spiritual needs of the society. In turn the society expressed its gratitude by looking after the material needs of such men of great learning and wisdom. That the whole thing degenerated later like many other things is another matter. But this was before the decline.

The gods concealed as Brahmins asked for food and Anasuya responded with a ‘yes’ asking them to come in and take their seats till she prepared to lay some food for them.

When the preparations were made and the food was ready to be served the Brahmins suddenly made a strange request: ‘You have promised to offer food to us and we are extremely pleased. We have a request to make. You have to serve us food by making us sit in your lap undressed’.

Pausing to note her reaction they added: ‘You may go back on your word and not feed us. We will go away quietly. But if you would still keep your promise and honour your word then this is our condition’.

Now Anasuya was a Sati. She was wedded to Truth, – Truth in speech, Truth in feelings, Truth in thoughts and Truth in actions. The gods knew that such a person would not go back upon her word. At the same time, to concede to this strange demand may be for her a deviation from another dimension of Truth, – a total fidelity to her aim and also to the sage to whom she had completely committed herself.

As was the way with these yogis and rishis, she invoked the very power of Truth with which she had lived to come to her rescue. This power, the power of Truth gave her the capacity to see behind appearances. Ansooya clearly saw who these beings were in reality and what their purpose was. She also saw in the Light of this Truth within her heart as to what should be her response. Turning to the gods in disguise, she said with a smile: ‘Yes, I would certainly keep to my word and your condition. By the law of Truth that has built this world and keeps in order a mother can feed her child on her lap without a piece of cloth to cover either’. Thus saying and invoking the Truth that she had practised all her life, she commanded: ‘May you become like babies so I may feed you as you wish’.

No sooner did she utter these words that the gods came as if under a spell. They became like children and started behaving like little babies since their consciousness was reduced to that of a human babe. It is said that one who always speaks the Truth, his words and thoughts carry such a power that they come true because they embody the vibration of Truth in the person.
No sooner did the gods become a babe, Anasuya fed them making them sit in her lap. Then she caressed them as one does to a child affectionately and put them to sleep.

Meanwhile the three goddesses, the consorts of the Trinity started to wonder as to why so much time has elapsed since their departure to earth. As they descended from their immortal seats to the mortal sphere, they could feel the agony and pain that the mortals bear. That itself is a humbling experience. But they were in for more and they had asked for it surely. When no trace of their divine counterparts could be felt or sensed they approached Sati Anasuya to find out if they came and what had happened. The great and luminous being of Anasuya replied: ‘Yes they are there, sleeping inside as little babes. You may go inside and carry them back after recognizing them.’

The goddesses were surprised and stunned. Their consorts could not be recognized as they had become just like babies. Ashamed at their deed they approached Anasuya with humility, requesting her to release the gods from her divine spell. She smiled compassionately and had to simply utter ‘So be it’ and the gods returned back to their original form. They too bowed before the power of Truth in the woman’s heart and knew that man will one day surpass the gods. For they could sense in the being of Anasuya the future type of humanity, free inwardly and governed by truth. She is the prototype and the forerunner of a greater being who would one day arise out of a man and surpass even the greatest of gods.

Indian thought has always tried to synthesise the diverse strands of human nature, its aspirations and seekings, its higher sublime flights and its more mundane strivings. This is reflected everywhere including its religious side.

On the one side Indian thought is not just polytheistic but pantheistic. It sees the Godhead in everything; behind what we consider as natural elements as also behind what we consider as supernatural elements. Nature and Supernature is only a hierarchical arrangement of One Reality that surpasses both and yet, and – here comes the beautiful synthesis, – expresses through both. What we consider as Nature is only a diminished figure of a concealed Supernature waiting for our discovery. Thus, on the other side, Indian thought is deeply monotheistic.

These two sides of One Reality are best expressed in the ancient formulas of the Upanishads:
– ekam satyam vipra bahudha vadanti: The Truth is but One, the wise call it by different names
– ekamevadviteeyam: The One without a second
– ekobahunām: The One who has many names
– ekambeejam bahudha yat karoshi: The One seed that became the many and, finally, a most powerful one,
– sarvakhalvidambrahman: Know all this that is here as the Brahman (the sole Reality behind all things).

The gods are therefore powers and aspects of the One who alone is self-luminous, Pure and unstained, Shadowless Light, All-Love, All-Power, All-Wisdom, All-Bliss.

They are many and arranged hierarchically corresponding to the many planes of cosmic existence. Thus, when the great seer Yajnavalkya is asked by Gargi as to how many gods are there.
Yajnavalkya replies that there are indeed thirty-three million gods or three million or even three thousand or three or one and a half or just one, if you please.

The sense is clear the gods are emanations of the One Divine like countless rays emerging from the Sun. The first three emanations are the aspects and Powers that are engaged in the Creation, Preservation and the Dissolution of the universe. As they move further, they multiply in multiples of three and work in the smallest of elements of the universe.

And who are the Titans if there is only the One? They are the shadows of the gods as it falls upon creation. The principle is very simple. A god is one aspect of the Infinite and by its very nature, we may say that a god takes birth when the Divine withholds all else within and puts forth only one or two aspects in the front. It is this frontal consciousness that later lapses into its very opposite by forgetting the Oneness from which it emerged. It feels itself separate and enters into a state of division. Thus, while the gods create forms in harmony with Oneness and the Divine law in Creation, the titans create forms that are not in tune with the cosmos and the Divine law. The result is an increase in disorder. Again, while the gods preserve what needs still to be preserved for the right balance of creation, the titans preserve those elements that need to pass out and whose hour is over by the Divine dispensation and decree. So too with destruction. The gods destroy what needs to be destroyed for the good of the totality, to assist the creation’s forward march. The titans destroy all that comes in their way, in the way of their personal, separate goal and not in harmony with the greater Divine Law. The gods carry creation forward in the evolutionary journey, the titans hold it back and even try to slide it back. Thus, the gods and the titans are forever in struggle in the cosmos, and in every human heart.

Yet, the two may be seen as representing two stages of the evolutionary growth. Our journey starts as a darkness, in the womb of division, ignorance, obscurity, under the tutelage of the dark mother, Diti, the mother of division and ignorance. She too is a mother and holds her children dearly. In the legends She is shown as coaxing her children, the daityas, sons of darkness and ignorance with ambition and desire. She even goads them to win the crown of the gods that ever remains beyond their reach. Yet through these means She stimulates them, brings out their force, though not the wisdom. Restless, they strive for personal egoistic aims and that is good for them lest they completely lapse into tamas, obscurity and darkness, in a state of torpor, clouding and utter confusion as if drugged and drunk. The dark mother pulls them out of this torpor and as they grow in power, shows them the crown and the kingdom of the gods to covet and enjoy.

They strive, sometimes momentarily succeed as in certain stories, dethroning Indra. Yet they are unable to touch Indra’s consort Sachi. For Sachi is Truth-conscious, even though her origins are from the world of the Titans yet she has ascended to the throne of Indra, not by brute violent force of Titans but by the power and the Light of Truth. She and the gods then turn to their own origin, their Source of Light and Might, the Mother of the gods, the luminous mother Aditi, who dwells forever in the undivided Consciousness. Then Aditi works out a way to bring back the cosmic order.
Diti and Aditi, the dark and the luminous Mothers are the two steps of evolution. When our souls chastened and strengthened through conflict, opposition, struggle and suffering is ready then mother Diti delivers it out of her dark womb and we are then carried by mother Aditi in Her Vast and Strong and Luminous embrace to heights of freedom, to pinnacles of joy, to the splendours of a higher Supernature.

At Her highest, She stands one with the Supreme, the Shakti, the Parameshwari, the Power and Knowledge of the Supreme: 

Om Anandmayi, Chaitanyamayee, Satyamayee Parame

 

Alok Pandey

 

The real malady of man is not outside but within him. This disease which is the source of all his errors, evil, conflicts and unease is called the “ego”. It manifests in various ways and can afflict different parts of our nature right from the body to the highest mind. Its most common underlying pathology is a ‘clinging’, an inability to ‘let go’. The result is an inability to move forward in harmony with the great universal rhythm of life. This clinging is out of fear of vastness, and a sense of security in the small. Just as men construct physical dwellings to house their bodies and then get attached and bound by it; we construct psychological houses by our thoughts, feelings, impulses, desires, etc. and get trapped and imprisoned in our own formations. This temporary shelter makes us feel secure and may be necessary in the infancy of our soul, yet must the adult soul know itself not as a child of nature but discover its own true identity. Then we no more confuse the dwelling with the householder or the robe with its wearer. The robe and the dwelling become then an instrument and means of our self-expression, a field of work and not a private property or a personal possession. If we learn to step out of the safe limits of the ego-formation, of the temporary structure created by nature, then the sun and the moon and the sky and stars, the earth and all that inhabits it become our companions and the vast becomes our natural home.

But we cling to our smallness. The result is narrowness and division and conflict and strife and meaningless conquests and absurd successes and failures. We become then pawns in a chess-board moved by cosmic forces, a plaything in the hands of Time’s lords. It is they who fight and win or loose; it is we who struggle and suffer and slay or are slain.

We cling to our littleness. The result is all kinds of phobias and grief that arise from the delusion of separateness, of the self and not-self. Groupism, partisanship, religionism, racism are all its attendant outer consequences.

We cling to people, situation, circumstances and events. The result is the stress of transient satisfactions punctuated with disappointment and frustration.

We cling to habits and patterns of living. The result is various lifestyle diseases and recurring and chronic maladies of body and mind.

We cling to our thoughts and ideas and opinions. The result is narrow-mindedness, a judgemental attitude, vanity, arrogance and ignorance. We believe we are free-thinkers but we do not realise how much we are bound by our own formations. The result is various isms and schools of thought warring and jarring with each other.

We cling to our feelings and sentiments and attachments. The result is the various emotional and social problems.

We cling to our greeds and desires and our passions. The result is temporary pleasures followed by much dissatisfactions, suffering and pain.

We cling to our hates, our jealousies and our lusts. The result is various forms of moral and psychological degradation, murderous instincts and depravity of tacte, an eventual sinking towards death.

We cling to what we presume to know and believe as true. The result is an ignorance that labours and strives but only manages to move in the same blind circle that returns back to its starting point.

We cling to our systems and techniques and methods. The result is an exclusive, one-sided formula that shuts us from the integrality of an infinite, many-sided truth.

We cling to our past and therefore grow old. We cling to our present and are therefore stuck up and unable to move. We cling to life as it is now and therefore we have to meet death and rebirth in the course of the journeying rounds of life.

We cling to our experiences and therefore get locked in the spiritual ego’s bright and brilliant shell. We cling to our path and our doings and non-doings and thereby shut the doors to an illimitable Grace.

How shall then we be free? Where shall we then find the true remedy for the malaise called ‘ego’ that source of all other diseases?

Not by the body’s self that itself clings to its habits and patterns for stability of existence.

Not by the ever-changing self of life that constantly shifts but finding no certain ground moves ever and ever in the same grooves built by the energies and patterns of its past movements.

Not by the mind that is the very source of all division and which by its nature creates and hugs the bonds it creates. It can push the limits as it must but cannot set the soul free. It can make the limits more tolerable and less rigid but still we remain bound in the small or the big box to an endless chain of determinism, cause and effect, time and space.

Only the inconceivable Truth beyond mind can set us free. To That we must turn and seek leaving behind all our neat constructions of the mind and thoughts.

Only the infinite Love and the illimitable Grace can set us free. That we must implore and invoke, Only the supreme Will can set us free. To That we must offer and surrender ourselves. For, the deepest wisdom is to know this that Truth cures, Grace cures, Love cures, supreme Will cures. And these are not separate truths but one. It is the Divine who cures.

But this cure, even when it appears instantaneous, is not a fanciful magic. He cures by setting the truth within us free. He cures by liberating us from our own mind-traps and life-grooves and body-habits and subconscient memories, – in short the fixed formations and rigid patterns that repeat themselves inflexibly and are the source of all our maladies. He cures by liberating us from the knots of the ego. But the ego-self doesn’t like it and shrinks and resists. It repels the touch of Truth, it closes its doors to Grace, it resists the action of the supreme Will, it doubts the savior hands of Love.

Therefore systems and techniques and methods multiply, therefore also hospitals and doctors and diseases multiply. Therefore do problems and half-way solutions multiply. Therefore we move endlessly in circles and grooves predetermined by the habits of the past. Therefore man struggles with the burden of his fate.

Yet there is hope. For in the wake of a new dawn there rises a great wave of consciousness like a force or a thunderbolt from God. It comes to demolish all our limits to which we cling. It comes to remove the scaffoldings of our ego and set the truth within us free from all trappings and formulas. It comes to cure us radically of all our error, imperfection, disease and distress.

Would we open to this new consciousness and give ourselves to it with joy and love? Or would we resist and revolt, doubt and distrust, hide and hold to our smallness? This is the question that each individual and group has to answer. And upon its answer hangs the balance of its destiny.

Alok Pandey

For a hundred years and more man has been made to believe by our science that he is nothing more than mere mud and mire. The biologist, the psychologist, the scientist hammered into our ignorant brains the sole gospel of matter, the omnipotent power of genes and chemistry in whose wheels man is caught helplessly as a worm trapped in a hole.

For a hundred years and more man has been made to believe by our science in the non-existence of his soul or even of his self and mind which we are told is nothing but a glandular secretion and an ephemeral passage of electrical current in the neuronal circuits of his brain.

For a hundred years and more we have been made to believe that the only way we can survive and live is by plundering nature, by exterminating all that threatens us, by creating safe comfort zones that eliminate all that can disturb our ‘happiness’ purchased by paying the heavy price of an increasing servitude of our soul.

But now the coming century that opens before us brings a newer vision and a greater hope. Not by bricks of matter and chemicals alone am I built. Not by the genes is my fate decided and won or lost. Not by the props and crutches of nature do I stand and hold my precarious existence. I am greater than destiny, stronger than my fate.

This is the new message that is whispering itself as a mantra of awakening into the human heart. This is the new light that is stealing into mind’s inner chambers. This is the power that is flooding through life’s doors and filling nature with wonder and joy and hope once again.

“I saw the mornings of the future rise,
I heard the voices of an age unborn
That comes behind us and our pallid morn,
And from the heart of an approaching light
One said to man, “Know thyself infinite,
Who shalt do mightier miracles than these,
Infinite, moving mid infinities.”
Then from our hills the ancient answer pealed,
“For Thou, O Splendour, art myself concealed,
And the grey cell contains me not, the star
I outmeasure and am older than the elements are.
Whether on earth or far beyond the sun,
I, stumbling, clouded, am the Eternal One.”
[Sri Aurobindo: Collected Poems, pp. 43]

 

Alok Pandey

Not heaps of scientific information that often confuses us more than enlightens. Not the knowledge that burdens us with a sense of helplessness by showing the knots that tie us but not the power that can undo it. Buried within the ashes of information and the smoldering heat of knowledge lie diamond sparks of wisdom that can truly set us free. That we need the most.

Not techniques and a multiplication of methods that only change the scope and circle of our dependency and tie us in one knot of nature while releasing from another. Hidden behind all techniques and methods is the force of an infinite truth that can liberate us from all fear and ill. That we need the most.

Not systems of medicine and governance and all their-isms through which ignorance ensnares us by its changing masks. We only exchange an unpleasant mask for a more pleasant one. Above all the systems and parties lies the all–round healing power of a greater Supernature that shines upon the summits of our being as Grace and Love. That we need the most.

Beyond, all our conceptions, beyond all our constructions of thought, science and philosophy, beyond religion and its fixed formulas, beyond the dogma and the rituals of science and the beliefs and non-beliefs of Ignorance, there is the sovereign truth of the all-powerful soul. That we need the most.

God came down to earth and found man a slave and a victim to other men. This could not be and so He decided to set man free. A revolution followed and man was now free to be himself, to be what he wished to be. But man answered to this gift of freedom by misusing it endlessly to degrade his great and mighty soul.

God came down again and now with the freedom gave him the law, the law of love and truth, the law of harmony and unity, the law of living together as one family. But man answered to this gift by reducing it to a narrow formula whereby he would love those who were his kin and not others with whom he must fight and conquer. Groups were born and each strove against the other.

God came down again and gave man along with the freedom and the law, the sense of right and wrong, of good and bad, of virtuous and evil deeds. But man answered to this gift by being very acutely aware of the sins of others and being oblivious to his own. He punished others for the crime that he indulged himself secretly. Thus was born crude religion which thrived upon fear and guilt.

God came again and to assist man gave him the means of self-reflection so that he could introspect and discriminate truly the right and the good from the wrong and the evil. But man answered to this gift by engineering with his reason the power of self deception. Thus was formed a seemingly just and civic society that harboured hypocrisy and falsehood in its heart though appeared fair and good on the surface.

God, in His infinite patience came again and taught man the inner path through which he can tear the veils of falsehood and deception and discover what is real and thereby ascend to a state of true freedom and bliss. But man answered to this gift by expressing his helplessness in following the path of Truth and Light even though he now could know it. Thus were born spiritual paths and sects that liberated the few while the rest simply struggled and laboured on.

God came again and this time with His Power and Grace so that man can not only know but also do what he could not do. But man answered to this gift by revolt and doubt thereby loosing his balance and refusing to open to the one Truth that could still save him. Thus was born a world where power was misused to plunder nature for the ego’s comfort and pleasure rather than for the mastery over nature.

But God refuses to give up, how could He for what else is man and this world but His distorted image and a broken reflection. Therefore does He now hammer this world tirelessly so that the distortions may disappear and humanity grows into the perfect image and likeness of God. Therefore does He now close all other doors so that man may turn to the one door he has long denied to himself.

‘He leaves behind the ill with strife and pain,
Because it clings and constantly returns,
And in the fire of suffering fiercely burns
More sweetness to deserve, more strength to gain.’
-Sri Aurobindo: In the Moonlight

Alok Pandey

The atmosphere was solemn but not heavy. There was a lightness and a Light that one always felt in the Master’s Presence. But the solemness of the occasion was because of the Master’s illness. The Master had not been well for the last couple of weeks, and now he seemed to be withdrawing, suddenly, as sun assumes the crimson golden hue of dawn just before setting in the western seas, the Master came back to his full outer awareness and smiled at the grave faces that had gathered around him in the dusk.

The Master broke the silence, or rather enriched it by his sweet and liquid voice that always seemed to come from some far-off world, “What makes your faces so grave?” One among them answered with a rather low voice, “Your illness, Master and the fear we all share that you may leave us.”

There was a pause as between the destruction and creation of worlds. The Master seemed to have lapsed again. But he came out of his trance soon enough. Slowly, he responded to the disciple’s anxiety,

“But where am I leaving you? Do you think I am this body?” The Master pinched his flesh at places while saying so, and continued, “None of us are mere physical bodies. Only you are not conscious of it whereas I am fully conscious of my deathless Self and the many births before. And the deathless Self is immortal. It does not die.”

The conversation had started. Another continued the thread, “You are God, aren’t you?”

The Master paused a while, “Yes, but it is also true of all of you, only you do not know it.

The disciple asked, “But you are God in a special sense, an avatara, the Supreme incarnated in a material body. You are not like us struggling from below upwards.”

The Master replied, “Yes, but so were Krishna, Christ and Buddha avatara, conscious of their Godhead. Do you think an avatara is not subject to the laws of the earth when he takes up a human body?

And the disciple continued, “We thought so, an avatara is free from the laws that govern us mortals.”

The Master said with a great force in his words, “None of us is a mortal. Bondage is an illusion. Death is an illusion. There is none bound, none dies. Have you forgotten the great injunction of Sri Krishna, ‘It is only forms that perish, the soul is immortal.’ Did he not also say ‘There was never a time when I or these kings were not there, nor when they will not’?”

The Master looked at them with a powerful gaze. Then as the glow softened, he continued, “Do you think that Sri Krishna, Christ, Buddha are dead and gone? Have I not told you of my own encounters with them, especially with Sri Krishna, the eternal friend and lover of all mankind in whose arms of ecstasy I spent days and weeks? How could I if he were no more? In fact, an avatara never leaves the earth. He comes for the earth and stays here as a permanent part of the earth consciousness so that all who rightly strive may be helped by him and arrive.”

The disciples looked puzzled. Of course, they had read all this but somehow seemed to forget it. How foolish of them to believe that the Master could ever leave them. The Master as if read their thoughts, “How could I ever leave you? No, I will be present upon earth till the work for which I have come is done. Only you would not see me with your physical senses.”

“That makes a great difference to us,” one of them pleadingly complained.

But the Master reassured, “But my help will always be available just as ever. Those who have a subtle vision can even see me.”

“But your physical presence…”

The Master revealed, “Do you think the Divine takes up a physical body only to guide a few handfuls of people who are near him? He can and does do that even without assuming a physical body. The experience of many devotees and saints testifies this.”

The disciple insisted, “But still your physical presence makes a great difference.”

The Master looked at them with great compassion, “It does serve as a concrete example but one cannot profit by physical nearness alone. The Master is a doorway to help you discover the Divine Master within you. One too often forgets that simply because the Master is physically available and readily accessible. In fact, the help of the Master is not so much by the words he utters and the letters to which he replies, for these can be readily misinterpreted. His real help reaches out as a silent but powerful influence, to all who are receptive and open. And this help and influence are not dependent upon the physical Presence, though men find it easier to open to someone who is concretely visible in flesh and blood. But that is man’s limitation, not the Master’s. He acts without hands and feet, speaks without the tongue and influences us even while he is bodiless. Indeed, that is the Master’s mode of action even while he is in the body.”

A little puzzled one with logical reasoning asked, “Then why does God take up a body at all if He can guide men and the world without taking up a human body? And if He does, why does he seem to suffer and even fall ill and die like ordinary mortals?”

“Oh, that is another matter. It is not about guidance but about doing something with physical matter or the earth substance. The Divine takes up a human body as a field of action directly upon Matter and the physical conditions of the earth. Now also He acts but from behind, through many layers that clothe and conceal Him. Therefore, the work upon earth seems so abominably slow, difficult, and painful. But by taking up a physical body, the Divine can bring the very physical substance and earth-nature directly in contact with the Divine Forces from another plane of a higher consciousness. That helps the earth and embodied beings progress as a whole, collectively and not just a few special chosen men. It makes the earth cover as if in one giant leap of a few decades or centuries what it would otherwise take millenniums to realise.”

“Oh yes, we can see that; how your coming revolutionized the entire face of the earth. The very atmosphere has changed,” a disciple observed, but then added, as if with a tinge of doubt, “that is why we cannot understand your illness all the more. We have seen and experienced your powerful Presence and its Influence several times ourselves and in the world. To say the least, we have seen you cure such intractable illnesses in others. So why or how could you not cure yourself!”

The Master spoke as if enigmatically, “Maybe I could cure myself but would not. Maybe I wish to experience all that human beings experience including illness and death so that I can change their law. How could I do it unless I experience it? How can I change the law unless I fully know it? It is easy to pass beyond the law and remain above it, it is also easy enough to superimpose the law of one plane upon another, but it is extremely difficult to change the law of one plane into another.”

The disciples looked quizzically at each other, “What does that mean? We do not quite grasp that.”

The Master explained, “It is easy, for example, for a yogi to keep his body alive and healthy for a long period by superimposing upon it the vital force, or else, to simply rise above his illness and be free within of all reactions. That is how miracles ordinarily work. But when you want to change the material laws, then it is another thing altogether. In the previous two, you rise above them or else momentarily suspend or hold them in abeyance for whatever period you wish to with constant superior control. It is like policing. The presence of the police controls the thief so long as they are vigilant but it does not change a thief or criminal. For that, you have to enter into the criminal’s mind and consciousness and know it by a kind of identification, of course without losing your own identity. It is a deliberate process. You do this not out of any weakness but out of strength, to understand how they think and operate, what is their origin due to. And all this so as to transform them. That is transforming the law.”

“But won’t that upset the balance,” one reflectively demurred.

“It would do so only if the law were such at the origin and fixed for all times. But that is not the case. Earth and physical life have become what it is not because it is radically and incurably false in their origin. Quite the contrary, their origin, as indeed the origin of all things is Truth and Consciousness and Bliss. But, in the course of time, it has become almost its opposite.” The Master paused, reflectively as if the whole course of earth’s history stood before him in one panoramic flash.

“But why did this fall from Glory come out?” someone steeped in tradition asked seizing upon the pause.

The Master once again turned towards them, “Oh! haven’t you read, I have written all that in great detail elsewhere.” Some of them could notice the touch of gentle irony in the Master’s words, haven’t you read, as if observing human complacency. For these were his ways, gentle and subtle yet unfailing in pointing us the road of Light.

He continued, “Nevertheless, the fact that everything has issued forth from the Divine and contains His Presence within it, therefore, everything is not only potentially Divine but also destined to become more and more so through an evolutionary process. Matter too, despite all its inertness and unconsciousness is divine in its origin and in human beings, it has already reached a point wherein it can be divinized. The Divine descends upon earth and takes a physical body to redeem matter and liberate the godhead concealed in it.”

With a flash of intuition, one observed, “Oh! like that story of Ahly who becomes stone due to a curse and then turns into a goddess by the grace of Lord Rama’s touch.”

Another ventured to ask, “Is that the reason why Divine comes again and again upon earth and takes up a physical body? Is this the second coming spoken of in the great traditions of Hinduism, Christianity and Buddhism?”

The Master answered, “The second coming is not a religious event. It is not the resurrection of a certain creed or Church or a theology nor is it to save a particular religious group. The second coming is precisely this — this complete victory of the Divine upon earth, this reign of Truth and Light in this world, the Divine advent in all His Glory and not as He is presently concealed in the thick cloak of a human body. The second coming is about the coming of the Divine in a divinized body, a body befitting the Mighty Presence.”

The disciples were awestruck. How vast was the Master’s vision and how small and narrow their ignorant beliefs? After a long silence one asked, “So you will come again.”

The Master nodded in assent and added, “Yes, in a divinized body. For only such a body can truly fuse and express all the diverse aspects of the One Divine who comes as Krishna, Christ, Buddha and the rest.”

One pleaded, “How will we recognize you?”

And the Master said, “That is one reason why I must depart. So that you open your inner eyes and find me there. For they who have this inner vision will always find me for they know me as the Supreme Godhead who has assumed this form. For them, the form is the door to the world of Light and Truth. But those who see the form alone and know Me only by my external personality will try to make a cult and a religion or an intellectual creed and dogma and philosophy out of it. That is what man has always done so far with the Divine. But with the second coming all this will cease, for the Divine will no more be hidden by the form nor will He need the imperfect figures of idea and philosophy or religion to express Himself in this world. The second coming is the great return, the return of the Divine as the revealed and not a concealed sovereign and King upon earth. That will also be the establishment of the Divine Kingdom here, the dream of all religions and the hope of mankind.”

The Master’s words fell silent in the fast-gathering night. But a hope stole in the heart of the earth and the Light of a New Dawn waited in the Eastern sky for the appropriate hour.

Alok Pandey

The little fish, Dino, was happy in its little pond. It was a small and secure world where every fish practically knew every other fish. There were just a few varieties of them and, except for some minor variations, they all looked alike. Since they had very similar lives and problems, they perhaps even thought alike. The only risk for them was the angler at the banks and the fishermen with their nets. To escape from the former, they had learnt to stay near the middle and not stray too far towards the banks. The silent rule they all understood and faithfully followed was that safety lies in staying within the limits of the pond and curiosity and exploration were the cause of all catastrophes. But for the latter danger, they had little recourse. They could not get the better of man’s deception and the greed for food that led them to the net. Though here again they tried to reduce their chances of being caught by staying in groups. Their safety lay in numbers or that’s what they thought. But when one of them was caught, the others simply learned to resign to their fate.

Though Dino grew up amidst this lot, yet she was different from the very start. To begin with she was somewhat smaller than the rest. Her smaller size and a little unusual patch of outgrown flesh upon her fins made her somewhat different and unique and, therefore, also somewhat isolated and lonely. For though nature revels in creating variations, her individual types do not tolerate variations beyond a point. They either condemn him or admire and worship but secretly feel that the variant is an anomaly that was to be dreaded and shunned in practice. Nevertheless, she had reconciled to her fate even though she secretly nurtured dreams of another fish world with many varieties and forms of fishes, some amazingly huge and powerful, some amazingly beautiful and wonderful. Yet she would not speak of her dreams to anyone lest she became an object of ridicule and was openly declared unfit to live in the fish world. Such things were after all dreams and imagination, which some mad fishes would have but not the saner and safer ones. For, in that small little fish world, sanity was equated with safety, wisdom with the ability to remain fixed to the type and, truth and reality with the limits of the present.

But Dino could not stop dreaming and at the slightest pretext she would withdraw from her small and neat little fish world to dwell upon the object of her imagination. Till one day she was so lost in her reverie that the borders of the reality of her small fish world was over-passed and she stepped into another place and world, a world where there was water everywhere without any shore. “Oh! How huge is this pond,” she thought at first. But there was nothing of the pond familiarity in that vast waterbody except that both had water. As she sat gazing and wondering, she saw a form unknown to her approach. It was a strange being, half fish with tail fins but the upper half looked like the reflection of some fishermen. But she felt no fear at the approaching being who rather seemed all love and wisdom. The strange form noticed the perplexity and wonder in Dino’s eyes and spoke answering her curiosity. “I am your future and your destiny. It is I who sent you the dreams and the imaginations.” Looking at the amazement in Dino’s eyes, she further spoke:

“I am a mermaid; the god of the sea world and I govern the life of all fishes. But now I have come to tell you something else. Very soon your neat and safe world is going to be destroyed in a flood that I have decided to send for you.”

“For me, the flood?” the little fish was even more perplexed. She had only heard about all-destroying floods that had upset everything in the remote pasts of her ancestors. “But did you not say you were a god!”

The mermaid smiled: “Yes, and I will send you the flood since I love you very much.”

“But why? Won’t it destroy many a fish and what good will flood do to me anyway?”

There was this time a tinge of apprehension in Dino’s eyes.

“What good does your remaining stuck in a pond does anyway? So, I have decided to take you to your place of high destiny and, hence, the flood. But fear not when the waters swell and all seems lost, I shall carry you where you are destined to be and make of you what you have always dreamt and secretly wished to be, since it was I who thus dreamt and wished in you,” replied the mermaid.

The tone of the mermaid seemed at once commanding and reassuring. But the little fish questioned one last time. “But is a flood necessary? Can’t I find my destiny without this great and all-upsetting and frightful deluge?”

“No, without the flood you can only dream about it, for you do not have the strength to follow your dream and reach where you must. Your little fins cannot carry you so far. Hence, I am sending the flood. Remember, do not fear, rather trust, surrender and wait. The flood may look fierce but it is actually my force that comes to break your limits and thus set you free.” So saying, the sea-god vanished and in her trail left a lingering joy mixed with anticipation in the little fish. Her words kept echoing in her dream, “Remember, do not fear, rather trust, surrender and wait.”

* * *

And she waited and a few more days passed. These days were full of strange forebodings. The fish world was witnessing unexpected things. With each passing day the little fish would grow restless about the coming event. She even wondered if what she saw was true and not another of her imaginations. And so it went on till the day of destiny arrived. It seemed a clear day like any other day and the little fish world was busy with its little things and familiar world of everyday life. And then suddenly all was changed. The suddenness of the event left no room for anything at all. The fish world collapsed, got swallowed in that sudden and mighty upsurge of water. All was over within a few moments that seemed like eternity. And when the little fish stunned by the shock and carried by the large wave came back to its senses, she found herself in sweet and strange waters of a stream that must have existed nearby but was till then unknown to her little fish world. As she began orienting herself, she observed what magnificent variety of creatures lived there, some were like the fish but colourful and beautiful, others were strange inhabitants of the freshwater stream that was clear and limpid.

“How strange is this world,” she thought. But the next moment wondered how she and the other fishes had lived so long without even knowing that such a beautiful world existed nearby. But then as if in a flash something else caught her imagination. “If there existed such a world nearby yet unknown to me then where are the limits? Is this the end, the place of my destiny or do I explore and go further?” She swam with this thought day in and day night till one day she dreamt again. She did not see the mermaid this time but only heard her all familiar voice tell her, “Trust your dream. Did I not say that I sent them to you? Go further if you feel that further exists.”

Further to where, she thought and as if something within her own being replied to her: “Follow the current and the stream will lead you to its source and its secret.”

And so her journey continued till the stream began to swell and she could feel something approaching where the world of the stream ended and another world began. At first little Dino grown a little more drinking the sweet waters of the lovely stream, tumbled into the river catapulted by a massive force that shook her again. Fear overtook her, this time more than the first time for she did not have the surety of the vision. It was not any angelic being telling her to move but something within her that had impelled her to explore further. Was she right to listen to this impulse? Were not her family and tribe members right that one should not tread unknown territories; that only in limits are we safe? All these questions flashed before her even as she fell over a waterfall into the river. The very sense of something far more powerful and wider was as if frightening. But then she remembered again, “Do not fear, rather trust, surrender and wait.” But it was not easy out there. The current was too strong, the water quite cold, the riverbed too deep for comfort and the inhabitants not only strange but a few of them frighteningly huge for her small stature. For while she thought if it was worth journeying further, if the stream world to which she has grown accustomed, and which was beautiful, was not the perfect world of her dreams, her highest destiny. Yet, something within her compelled to go further, something within her would not go back, something within wished to go to the very end of this interesting journey into the unknown and the unexplored, into this adventure of a new, a dangerous yet charming, world whose last secret she wished to know. But what was the path to follow from here, the path that would lead her to the last secret, to some greater world of her dreams. Thus, musing she spent a few days whence she chanced upon a strange creature that could move in and out of water at will. This was truly strange, an impossible thing for the fish. How could this creature live without the life giving water, she thought. The creature appeared harmless and often retreated in a shell-like structure that it carried over its head as if shy of the other inhabitants of the river.

* * *

One day Dino dared to approach it. “Who are you, oh great sir, I truly admire your capacities that I have not. Could you teach me how to live without water?” She blurted all her questions at once.

“They call me the tortoise and I am simply endowed with this capacity to breath in water and outside it. There is nothing special about it, to me at least, since that’s how I am made. And since I did nothing to make myself the way I am, I cannot teach you the secret of being this way as I frankly do not know it myself.”

Dino was a little disappointed at the simple and straight confession of the tortoise who seemed nothing short of a miracle to the fish. But she was encouraged by his truthfulness to ask further. She knew he would not deceive her. So she ventured to ask if he knew where the source of this river was and wither it goes. “Pray tell me great sir, if you know the course of this river and where to it flows. I see no end to its waters and though for days I have tried to find its end, I have miserably failed. I can span its width and know the shores but then is the river endless in its onward flow?”

The tortoise became pensive and after a while replied: “Perhaps, I know something of that since I have seen many a season and in my long life I have met many creatures, some of whom have spoken to me of the river’s flow.” Then, falling silent for a while, as if to recollect all that he knew, the sage-like tortoise spoke again. “Well, the shore is not the river’s origin nor its end though many mistake it to be so. The river flows from the unseen snowy peaks of the great and mighty mountains and it ends by emptying itself into the great and mighty sea.”

The tortoise paused for a while. The sea, something flashed like recognition before Dino. Did she not hear the mermaid tell her that she was a sea god? And she had wondered what this sea was. Now the whole thing came back again and with it the thrill of her vision and the dreams of another world. “Pray tell me about the sea, oh great one,” she hastened to ask.

“Ask me not of the sea since I have only heard of it and, hence, I should not speak of it to you. I only know that there is a sea, but it is an indirect knowledge. All that I can tell you is that there are two paths you can take from here.”

“The two paths,” asked Dino, “and what are they?”

“Well, the two paths are the path of annihilation and the path of fulfillment.” The former takes you back to the origin of the river, to high mountain, but you cannot reach the snow summits there. You would, as you travel along this path become more and more alone as few creatures can survive in that cold. Then one day you would simply fall away from your fish nature.”

“And what does that mean?” asked Dino.

“Oh, that’s one way to die and finish yourself, one way to exit the journey. But do not ask me where you go from there once you drop your fish nature. Perhaps you simply merge with the spirit of the mountains, perhaps you come back again. Who knows, but one thing is sure, and it is this, that you will cease to exist as a fish thereafter, at least that is what it seems. But I do not know further.”

“And where does the other path lead me to, the path of fulfillment?”

“That leads to the door of your destiny. As you go through this path you would find more and more fishes accompanying you, some of them much bigger and more powerful than you or any you have known. And then, if you persist you would reach the sea. But I do not know what you would find there for I know nothing about the sea. Only one thing I know and it is this that while both paths are difficult, the path to fulfillment is much longer though, perhaps, more satisfying,” answered the tortoise.

“So would you not want to take that path, we could travel together,” Dino said, a little excitedly.

“No, my dear friend, each of us has our road to travel. The Spirit of Nature has given me a long life but it has not given me the seeking. I am satisfied with wherever I am. Some call it a great quality but personally, I wish I had the zeal and ardour, the dare and courage, the trust and faith that you have in your seeking that has led you so far. As for me, I am born here and I will die here. Even if I were to follow you, my slow nature would not allow me to go very far. But you my friend are distinctly marked to go further. Pass over us and reach where thou must.” Thus saying, the tortoise fell silent and the little fish quietly reflected upon the two paths.

* * *

‘To be or not to be’ seemed the choice before her and this time there was no mermaid to tell her as to where the land of her destiny was. Which way should she go? The path of annulment was shorter and perhaps less arduous, but how can that be her destiny or for that matter the destiny of any fish. What was the difference between this and the fate of the fishes carried in the net of the cunning fisherman? If this was it, then why was all this labour of the fish swimming for life and in fact this fish world at all? No, the Spirit of Nature cannot be so meaningless and absurd. But then she could equally argue against her own logic by saying that may be this is the end of the world, and the river is the highest destiny of any fish. After all, the great tortoise had not seen the sea either. Maybe he is wrong about it. Maybe there is no sea. But what about the visitation of the mermaid? No, the sea must be there but … is it worth all the trouble? All these thoughts and counter thoughts kept her swimming furiously all the while. But then, tired of all this effort she fell silent and entered her world of dream again. She came out without remembering what she saw in her dream but one sentence or a fragment of it slipped into her waking world,

“You are never given an urge without the capacity to fulfill it.”

And indeed, she felt an urge to move forward through the path of fulfillment. She knew not where the urge came from but it was there all the same. In fact, it was always there and would only revive itself from time to time.

As if to give her the last push to go further, she remembered again the words that followed her like a mantra, — “Do not fear…. Trust, Surrender, … Wait.”

And her wait for the journey began.

* * *

At first, she knew not which way to go. The river was too big and it was difficult to say the direction in it. She asked a few but none could tell her which way was the path of self-fulfillment. She turned to the left and then turned to the right, she swam above and then swam below, but alas could not surmise which way to go. No sign came, no visions to guide, no being to help her find the pathway right. Tired and dazed of her seemingly long and meaningless search she looked flustered and spent. Oh! if only the sea-god could help her find the way but even if she would she wondered if there was strength in her to follow the long and difficult path. Confused and wondering, yet she kept up her need to explore the farthest end and her trust in destiny. And destiny did arrive, or at least the day of her destiny, but in the most unexpected way. It looked as if doom, not destiny, had come that day which had seemed like any other day. Perhaps out of tiredness, she was swimming oblivious of the net that was spread over the river by some adventurous men who were moving downstream in a steamer.

This was surely the end of the world and of all my explorations, she thought as the net tightened around her and other fishes. She felt the sharp sting of death as her whole being ached for a single breath. And yet even in that moment of doom and despair she felt a touch of sorrow that she was dying before fulfilling her need to reach the land of her dreams, the great sea. Or was it all an imagination, a rash and thoughtless adventure. And she swooned the next moment as life hung in her fainting fins by a slender thread. Meanwhile the fisherman had rolled the net and as he was going to put the fishes in his basket, he noticed this strange fish with spotted fins. What appeared as a deformity to her friends and kin appeared to this man as a rarity and wonder. In split second a thought crossed his mind that it would be more profitable to sell this little fish in an aquarium as a curio rather than in the fish market. And before even he could decide he had the fish thrown into a tub kept nearby where he had collected some such strange and rare specimen of the water world. Oh! The gasp of breath was as if the very breath of Grace in her life. Perhaps the sea-god had indeed helped her. But then she was now a prisoner unsure of her predicament. And she could do nothing. To even try jumping out of the fishbowl was certain death. Shy and afraid she waited in a corner wondering where fate would lead her next. The fishbowl was a strange world in itself. There were some peculiar creatures the kind of whom she had never seen before. There were a few turtles, some corals, some colourful fishes, and many others. Each looked confused and frightened, unsure of their fate. Yet each had a story to tell that disclosed an entirely different world to the little fish. But also, for the first time, she had a clear look at the sky and saw the stars at night. There was nothing to do but trust and wait. For the first time she learnt the meaning of surrender in its deepest sense. Indeed, unknown to her, the secret hand of destiny was leading her. In fact, she was literally being carried by the hand of destiny since the steamer was fast traveling towards the sea where the men were to disembark. What the little fish took to be a prison was indeed a net of safety meant to spare Dino the effort to do it all by herself. What she may not have been able to do, to swim through the length of the river was being done for her, even though she knew it not, till…

Till destiny led her to the end destination. But not without another jolt, though a minor one. For as the steamer hurled itself along the river, and as it approached close to the sea, a small flash storm sent everything topsy-turvy. The bowl fell down and broke in a jiffy and the raging winds swept little Dino and the other creatures into the river in a split second. Even before Dino could realize what had happened, she found herself being forcefully carried by the strong river current towards the place she was destined, the sea. Soon the river had emptied her contents, including Dino, into the sea and the little fish found herself in a very, very different world than any she had imagined so far. A world before which all her experience, and she had a considerable amount of it by now, seemed to pale — the world of the sea.

* * *

At first the sea appeared to be like any other water world, but Dino realized soon that it was very different. To begin with, the water tasted different. The next thing she felt was the enormous force that the sea contained. And very soon also that to swim here was very different than swimming in the river, the stream and the pond. Something was very different about this place which seemed like an endless mystery. For she could not see a being there, neither fish nor frog nor a tortoise, and all the creatures that she knew of. Was this the sea? she thought and thought till the loneliness grew frightening. The more she explored the more she felt it a fathomless mystery. Very soon she lost all orientation. But one thing she had learnt by now and it was this that when you do not know or understand what is going on around you, then trust and wait. So, she waited a seemingly endless wait till she saw a huge fish approach her. Little Dino had never seen anything of the kind before. She simply stood transfixed in a spot. But as the big fish approached, she felt something very nice about it. Her arrival did not generate any fear, but only hope, courage and trust such that the presence of strong and benevolent beings generates for those who are less endowed.

“I am Mauna, the Dolphin, a teacher of the ways of the sea. The sea-god sends me to you to welcome and carry you safely to her.”

Little Dino was deeply touched. So, the sea-god knew of everything, even the movement of a small little insignificant fish, like Dino, entering into the sea, she thought.

But Mauna seemed to have read her thoughts, — “Not only does the sea-god know of all who enter the great sea, she is also aware of all that have not yet arrived at the sea. She is indeed the guardian of all the creatures that dwell in the waters.”

“So, you are going to teach me of the sea and its ways.”

“No, I am going to teach you nothing.”

“Pray, say again,” asked Dino wondering if she heard it right, “did you not say that you are a teacher?”

“Yes, I did,” Mauna smiled, “but it is not me who will teach you, rather it is you who will teach yourself.”

“So, then what would you be doing?”

“Well, simply facilitating the process of your self-education.” Noticing Dino’s puzzled expression Mauna added, “See, you are a creature of the waters, hence all that you need to know about anything that has to do with the waters, including the great sea is known to you. But it is forgotten due to your birth in the little pond. You have recovered only that much knowledge of the waters as was necessary for you to live in the pond. But as you traveled through the stream and the river you have discovered the knowledge of these as well. Your journey was essentially a rediscovery of what you already know.” And then after a pause he added, “Knowing is remembering. It is uncovering what you already know but have forgotten.”

“But then why does one need a teacher,” Dino was growing more and more inquisitive.

“Didn’t I say, to facilitate the process. It is like a reminder, or to put it more accurately, the teacher is a reminder of what you are, secretly, and can be.”

“You mean you are a reminder to me of what I can be?” Dino asked doubtingly, for Mauna looked far too impressive in size and capacities for her to even remotely hope to become like him.

“Yes, you are myself, but in disguise. That is what I am going to each you or rather reveal to you. Only you have been conditioned so long by the pond that you do not even admit another possibility or another way of being for you. Yet, my child, I, the guardian angel of the sea, is your destiny.”

“Okay perhaps you are right, though I do not understand anything of what you say now. But I trust you and entrust myself to you. Now when and where do we begin.”

“Have we not already begun.” Mauna smiled.

“So, what is the first lesson that you would teach me.”

“Not me teaching you, but you learning yourself,” quipped Mauna and added, “The first lesson is indeed the most difficult to learn.”

“And what is that?”

“It is to unlearn”

“Hmmm,” the little fish mused as if half understanding it.

“The ways of the sea are very different from the ways of the static pool and the running streams and the flowing rivers. The pool has nowhere to go for it knows not anything beyond itself. And the river and the stream run helplessly to the sea. But where would the sea go? It has nothing beyond itself for it contains all things including the earth and all that grows in it.”

Dino did not quite grasp the meaning.

Mauna continued, “you see the sea is everywhere and moves in all directions. You cannot know which way it moves and that can be frightening.”

“Even you can’t gauge its direction and movement?” asked Dino.

“No, none can know the sea, not even me, even though I am born in the sea and live day and night by the sea and even teach the ways of the sea. I can tell you some of the ways of the sea but not about the sea itself. If you ask me about the sea, I can only say that the sea is to your right and the sea is to your left and the sea is above you and the sea is within you and the sea is around and about and outside you even as the sea is within you; and you breath the sea and eat and live the sea and yet ask me not what the sea is for I know not of it.”

“Will the sea god know of it?” asked Dino.

“No not even the sea god but the sea god will tell you something more about it.”

“And what is that?”

“Well, I can tell you something about the ways of the sea, about its mighty force and how to be in it and live by it, but the sea god will tell you about the being of the sea. But there is one last mystery of the sea and none can talk about it. That mystery can only be lived and experienced, not talked or taught.”

“And what is that mystery, I mean what is it called, is there a name to it?”

“The wise call it delight. It has no names and many names — a delight of being born in the sea, and a delight of being upheld by the sea and even a delight of being drowned by the sea.”

The mystery of the sea was getting deeper and deeper. Mauna suddenly became silent and Dino was lost in a contemplative reverie. Perhaps it was the first touch of the delight that Mauna spoke of. Slowly they drifted, led by the ocean current, to Mauna’s resting place covered with beautiful sea plants and coral reefs. It was time to rest.

* * *

That night Dino had a strange visitation in a dream. The Mermaid appeared again but this time it was an appalling sight. The sea god appeared to be as vast as the skies as if she had wrapped the heaven and earth in her body. Her hairs flowed and mingled with the stars, her body occupied the mid-worlds while her lower half that resembled a fish went deep into the ocean floor and even perhaps below. The sight was wonderful and frightful at the same time. The visitation appeared for a while and then vanished. But it left a deep impact, a quivering trace, upon the body and soul of Dino. In fact, she was woken up by Mauna who simply nudged and shook her out of her reverie with these words: “Hurry! Come on get up and get ready. The sea is rising in the shape of a giant wave.”

“How do you know?” asked Dino who could sense nothing unusual in the waters which seemed just as the previous day.

“No time to answer that. Just trust that I know it or to put it in another way I have special faculties that can show me things and one of them is to see an approaching storm.” Mauna answered and began to swim leaving no room for further questions. He swam slowly so Dino could follow. But Dino insisted: “So where do we go when the sea rises into a stormy wave? We can’t go outside the sea, can we?”

“No that would be foolish. When the storm rises, we must go deeper. The storm is on the surface, but in the depths, there is always peace and safety.” And then added as if mysteriously, “the sea that destroys with one mighty sweep what it has created over centuries is also the sea that shelters and protects and saves from its fiercer mood.”

Even before Dino could realize the full significance of Mauna’s words, they were swept down tumbling into the ocean deep only to find themselves as suddenly in a zone of peace and safety. It seemed as if the storm never existed. It was as if the sea though one was many at the same time. It had within it zones after zones, layers after layers, guarding secrets after secrets in its deep fathomless bosom. It was a wonderful lesson that the terrible storm taught Dino, her very first lesson of the sea, or so it seemed.

* * *

The days that followed went off rather smoothly. Mauna had a wonderful way of teaching. He simply swam and inspired Dino to swim with him. Usually, he would not interfere with Dino’s ways and even did not correct her mistakes. He would intervene only if Dino was in a danger. And since Mauna had this ability to sense danger from far ahead most of the time Dino did not even know that she has been saved and some danger averted! Dino learnt many interesting things about the sea. Her very first lesson was in surrender and humility. She learnt that the best way to swim in the sea was not to swim! And when you had reached the extreme level of your effort and feel you can swim no longer it is then that you feel most supported by the force of the sea. Of course, the sea supported you even without effort yet it was not the same. The effort was as if required to develop the muscles and nerves to bear the mighty force of the sea without breaking down or being disoriented. The effort helped her to simply remain in the sea, the rest was done by the sea itself. Effort was necessary to prepare us for giving full force to our surrender and to receive the full delight that follows it. Once Dino learnt this trick, she began to understand what Mauna meant when he spoke of the delight of the sea. She learned that the sea water, though salty and different in taste was as it was to help the creatures of the sea swim with minimum effort. Dino also learnt that the sea had countless creatures some huge yet gentle, others small yet dangerous, as if size was an illusion. She also learnt that the sea held all its million creatures together in its embrace without judging them and providing for each one. Most of all Dino learnt that the greatest treasures of the sea lay in its deepest parts where pearls and other invaluable gems lay hidden as if in some dark cave. Through daily contact with Mauna, her teacher, Dino spontaneously began developing some of those marvelous faculties that Mauna had and spoke of. She began to know Mauna’s thoughts even before he spoke. She could communicate with the many creatures of the sea silently without a word and they seemed to listen and even obey her. Even creatures that were much too big and far too ferocious gave way to her as if to someone special and exceptional. It is then that Dino really began to understand much of what Mauna had hinted at earlier, for instance, this that size does not matter. One truly knows only when one has experienced it oneself and not merely learnt of it from someone else. Doing is knowing. Dino learnt this by doing faithfully what Mauna inspired her by his own example. Then the day of the final lesson arrived.

That day was like any other day. Dino came out of her reverie and went for a deep-sea swim. This was one of the things that she had learnt from Mauna — to take a deep dive every morning. It refreshed her endlessly. There was so much silence and peace and force in the depths of the sea. On her return she looked for Mauna but could not find him. May be Mauna has gone elsewhere. But this was unusual. During so many days of her being with him he never kept Dino out of his reach. But today somehow Dino felt otherwise. Where was he, where had he disappeared? The anxiety grew with every passing minute. No nothing could happen to Mauna. He was a perfect master. He knew everything that had to be known and could be known about the sea. But then the sea was the unknowable. So did the sea swallow Mauna? Dino suddenly felt very unsafe, much more than she had felt either in the pond or the river even with the fishermen’s net around. If Mauna could thus disappear without a word or a trace then nothing was certain and everything was fragile and vulnerable not to speak of her. She waited more but to no avail. She furiously swam in this direction and that but still to no avail. And when she had done all that she could, she simply went back to their place of rest silently in wait for the next turn of fate. She remembered her mantra that had always helped her in every crisis, “Do not fear, rather trust and wait.”

* * *

Three days passed without a sign of Mauna though Dino began to sense some new change in her. She felt that her body was not the same anymore. But what was it she could not know till she saw her reflection in a floating coral whose smooth and crystal clear surface reflected everything. And this was Dino’s real surprise for she had grown so much like a miniature Mauna, a little dolphin that, but for its size, had everything similar to the dolphin and even its capacities. She could not believe her eyes at first. But soon the truth began to dawn upon her. So, this was the reason why Mauna had left her. His work was over and well done and he left silently without even waiting for a word of gratitude from her, a gratitude which she always felt for him. But then did he not say that there was one last lesson to be learnt! What was it? wondered Dino? What was it that Mauna wanted her to decipher from his sudden departure in this way? Surely, he would not leave her without revealing all that he had to and could for Mauna was a perfect teacher and would not leave anything unfinished. So, what was Mauna trying to say for this was indeed his characteristic way of teaching, not so much through words as by example, influence and a silent inspiration. And then as she reflected on everything and, the strangest of things, a thought flashed across her being. A thought that her being and Mauna had become one. There was no more any difference between them. What was outside is now within always and permanently as her intimate self and that she had perhaps only to look within and enter into her own depths even as she entered the depths of the sea and she would find Mauna and all the answers that she got from him by turning without. Mauna and she had become essentially one.

A deep intense longing suddenly seized Dino, a longing to rediscover Mauna within her being. So far, she had related to him only as a teacher and revered him with respect and awe. But the distance created by awe and respect had suddenly vanished as the walls that separated them as two different beings crumbled. She felt an urge, something like a deep ache, to be near him who had become so very intimate to her being. In fact, if at this point someone asked what is it that she wanted most then she would say without a hesitation or doubt that it was Mauna. Without realizing he had silently grown into her nerves and cells, into the very stuff of her being, her essence and deepest truth, so much so that if she had to leave behind everything including her fish life in which she had discovered so much, she would happily do so just to have one glimpse of Mauna. The longing grew to a point of life and death. As if her entire being had grown to one single point of concentration — an aspiration that rose like a column of fire seeking for its goal in a moment of utter self-forgetfulness. For that one moment she could give up everything. Nothing else mattered except that. Without even realizing it Dino had fallen into a trance and as if in a moment of apocalypse, which seemed like eternity, she beheld before her eyes the great sea god appear again. But this time it was not as in a dream, it was right there concrete before her eyes, not an apparition but someone so very living and real, who though apart seemed to be her very breath and life. It was as if her own existence had become unreal before that wonderful reality. Or perhaps that form was the life of her life and, in fact, the life of all life. Silence fell upon her entire being. Amazement and wonder mixed with adoration and awe filled her as the lovely form spoke: “O child of the great sea! here comes the end of thy journey.”

The sweet and melodious voice melted into silence again and Dino’s heart replied: “O great one, my heart is seized with an intense longing for my teacher Mauna. Somewhere I know that he is me and I am him but my heart aches for him even as my being longs for the last lesson that he has left unfinished.”

“But he has left nothing unfinished. This is the last lesson for which he had to leave you and disappear into your own being.”

“I don’t get it.” Dino knew and knew not.

And the great god spoke again: “The last lesson is the lesson of love, that sweet and fierce longing that you feel for him who has hid himself in you so as to become the very essence of your being. Love that touches its peak in self-forgetfulness. Love that made Mauna loose himself in you so that you may become like him. Without this great sacrifice you could not be like him but only a shadow or a reflection.”

“Does that mean that I would never find him again?”

“But have you not found him? Who do you think Mauna is, yet another fish, simply a more developed fish, a perfect fish. All that is only Mauna’s shadow.” And then added in a more familiar voice, “don’t you see Mauna in me. It is I who came to you as Mauna. Now ask me a wish and it shall be granted.” The voice was too familiar to be missed. Dino looked closely and saw in the great god’s eyes a clear reflection of Mauna and all her remaining doubts had vanished. A great joy seized her being a joy as she had never known before. In an ecstasy of hope a cry broke from her as of one who having travelled very far finds the goal of her journey right in front. “O great being, I have no more wishes left having seen you and having been loved by you what more could I want but to simply merge in you and become one with your being, a part and parcel of you.”

“So be it. Ask another boon, my loved child. Ask and it shall be granted.”

“O great Mother, I know what it means to be a fish. I have seen the struggles and the pains of the fish life right from my birth in the little pool. Pray give me the strength to do something for my kind.”

“So be it, my most dear child. Ask another boon, my favourite one. Your selfless boon makes me happy. For your own perfection would have been incomplete without the perfection of the entire fish world. Ask yet again and it shall be granted.”

And a third time Dino asked the great god: “I long to be always part of your work. To serve you always and everywhere is all I ask.”

“Think again my child for it may mean renouncing the bliss that you experience now. It means perhaps going back to the pond and be as a fish amidst other fishes.”

But Dino replied from her very core: “Why should I fear that O my beloved one for I know now that you too would be by my side always and everywhere. Have I not already known this? Was it not you in the storm and the net, in the river and the sea? Nay in my very longings and my hopes, even in my fears and my ordeals were you not there? And now that I have known this may I never forget this at any time.”

“Truly you are the very best fish of my fish kingdom and I am proud of you, my child. So be it and all else that you may ask shall be granted for you have asked the very highest that one may ask as a fish. From now on, I appoint you as one of the great teachers to do my work in the fish kingdom. And this I promise that never shall I leave you and wherever you maybe you shall find me always by your side.”

The great vision faded from her sight leaving in its wake a lingering joy that was the very essence of love. Dino started her journey back to the pool led by the sea god whom she now felt and knew everywhere. And unknown to them and their little care laden life a hope stole through the entire fish world, a hope of another way of being, a hope of a new life. The struggle of life changed its face and became for the fish world the struggle for evolution into the most perfect fish that ever could be.

Alok Pandey