What I want of you is not to love the Mother from a distance, but to become accustomed to feel her presence, her help, the working of her forces even when she is not physically present ... because it would give a great push to your Yoga.
You must really get rid of this idea that you are imagining things like the silence and wideness; an experience is not untrue because it is vague. If it is vague at first, it will deepen and intensify afterwards....
"His inner contact with the Mother was such that he could draw her out of the deepest trance..... Without a whisper or a touch he is said to have informed her of the need to go back to Sri Aurobindo’s room..."
Yoga means union with the Divine, but it also means awaking first to your inner self and then to your higher self, — a movement inward and a movement upward.
Never mind the lower vital, it is not so dreadful as you think, if one can take hold of it by both ends and keep it in its place. It is the same as with the other instruments, body, mind, higher vital, even the overmind powers, — they are good as instruments, but bad as masters.
Congratulations on the sparkles and the dreams. ... I think I have told you that the sparkles usually indicate an opening of the doors of the inner consciousness.
Sahana Devi's memoirs again and again show us the Love and Grace of Sri Aurobindo and the Mother and Their way of dealing with the sadhakas difficulties and unique challenges.