The Mother

Agenda

Volume 10

May 10, 1969

What's new?

Nothing, Mother.

You know, it's like a stick stirring a pond: everything is coming up... one thing after another, everywhere, in the whole country a rottenness. As if everything, but everything were exposed.

(silence)

People write to me... Previously, all kinds of things were going on downstairs [in the Ashram's offices]; people would speak with Amrita and they would “sort it out”; now, they're writing to me!... I've just heard a load of it, you know... (gesture like a truckload being dumped). I did have a kind of sensation that things weren't right, but I'd never have thought they were like that.

And how are You?

Fine, Mother.

You have nothing to say?... I think I had something, but in the middle of all that I don't remember what.

Oh, but there's really a Grace acting here constantly to maintain... at least a harmony in appearances, otherwise there are things... And then, this Consciousness seems to be drawn to two things: money and... (Mother runs her hand across her forehead as if she had forgotten). Oh, it's gone – this Consciousness doesn't want me to say it.

Politics?

No.

Politics, yes, it has shoved me right into it! I have been asked to choose the President [of India] who will replace the one who has just died!¹ And the best part of the story is that this Consciousness immediately suggests what needs to be done .... We'll see.

But regarding money, it doesn't tell me what it replaces it with. You see, it wants money to be a circulating force. That's perfectly true, but...

(silence)

I had lots of things I wanted to tell you, but... (gesture to the forehead) it's just been driven out of my head and replaced by the whole mudhole in the Ashram!² (Mother laughs)

But what about you, do you have anything?

Nothing very interesting, no.

What is it?

Someone has sent a photo of the place where Leonardo da Vinci died. Would you be interested to see that?

I know that place, I went there (Mother looks at the photo).

It's the place where he died.

But it's in France.

Yes, he died in France.³

It has been said that Sri Aurobindo was Leonardo da Vinci... but Sri Aurobindo never told me so.⁴ I don't know. Just as it has been often said I was Mona Lisa, but I know nothing about it (!)

(Mother looks at the photo) That's right. Which château is it?

That of Amboise.

That's it, yes. There's a plaque. I saw a plaque. But who sent it to you?... Anyway, it's someone who thinks it was Sri Aurobindo.

(Mother looks) Yes, I saw this.

It's still a... (Mother shakes her head) a childish way of putting it. You know, like putting one doll inside another, then you take it out and put it into another... It's not like that...

(silence)

You know, it's day after day after day that there's something new; and always the immediate conclusion: I know nothing, understand nothing, am nothing .... The negation of EVERYTHING – all the scaffoldings of the human mind and consciousness... collapsed. And for small things, for big things, for everything. And then, this question of death: “What is death? What takes place?...” To this Consciousness, it's... it's clearly what we might call an “accident,” but an accident... that has persisted. And it's now showing how one dies, that is, how the body suddenly comes apart-and how it might very well not have come apart.

And with demonstrations on people, imagine. Someone comes and implores me to die; so the only thing I do, and can do, is to establish contact in a constant and unalloyed way between... (what should I call it?) the destiny of that body and the Supreme Consciousness, like that. And then, all kinds of things have taken place: one left in an hour-died absolutely healthy, you understand. And very recently, I had another extraordinary example: someone comes and implores me to leave; so I put the full Force on him – now he's completely cured! They had brought him to me in a wheelchair, he couldn't walk... now he trots about, he comes all alone! And he's old, very nearly ninety....⁵ Another was clinging on; then his daughter told me, “He is unhappy, miserable, can't you make him leave?” I looked, and I saw, tight like this (Mother squeezes two fingers together with all her strength), a black knot there. I told the daughter, “Yes, I don't mind, but I can't cut his head off! (laughing) He is clinging on like this (same gesture).” Two days later, gone!

My method is always the same, of course: full concentration of the Supreme Consciousness on the person, removing all obstacles. It works like this, like that... (gesture of moving about here and there). And it's like a factual demonstration that ALL the rules we have established in our consciousness, all of that is absolutely idiotic. It doesn't correspond to the truth. There's... something. There is something.

Yesterday (laughing), this Consciousness made me see all the wills, or the vibrations (because ultimately it boils down to qualities of vibrations), all the vibrations that bring about anything from the smallest troubles to the biggest catastrophes – it's all of the same quality. And how the physical cells respond. And now and then – now and then – like a reward for the effort: what needs to be done, the true thing. But that passes – it's like a dazzle, but it doesn't last. We are... This Consciousness seems to have to go very fast, because from the point of view of consciousness, we are still quite in a quagmire, and it goes like this (gesture of an irresistible march forward), oh, it asserts itself.

And this poor body... it doesn't complain. It doesn't complain; it goes on, almost constantly with some pain somewhere – and it's in a blissful state. That's in the consciousness of the cells. There is something... Constantly some pain somewhere, but it knows it's because of its incapacity to hold out, that's all – but it has to, it will have to.

It's unbelievable. Unbelievable, it's a story... a story more extraordinary than anything we can imagine.

Why? Why that habit of suddenly coming apart, why?... Of course, it's not something new that came with man, because it was the same thing with all that preceded him: it would take form, dissolve – take form, live, grow, and dissolve – everything: plants and... The mineral kingdom was more stable by virtue of its unconsciousness (!), but all the rest was like that, constantly taking form, losing form, taking form and losing form again .... Then man made a fuss about it, of course, and a drama. He dramatized it, and because he dramatized it he endeavors... not to get out of it, but to adjust himself – to understand and adjust himself. And when you are in a certain consciousness, it simply looks like foolishness, nothing else. But why?... Is the human body incapable of...? It's not even that, I can't even say that. There are minutes (minutes, it doesn't last), minutes when the body feels it has escaped that law [of death]. But it doesn't last; it's for one minute, then it passes and things are back as they were. But the body consciousness is beginning to wonder why it's like that: Why, why isn't there... a growth in light and in consciousness, an indefinite growth? Why? The body itself wonders why. Also, it's constantly assailed by all the... well, the general corruption; and once in a while – once in a while – a flash of light, lasting... a few seconds: all of a sudden, something else. Something else and... a wonderful consciousness, and then the old routine goes on.

Then, people come with all their thoughts .... Some come, sit down in front of me, and start thinking, “Maybe it's the last time I am seeing her!” Things of that sort, you understand. So it all comes (gesture like a truckload being dumped), and because of that, it's... a bit difficult.

Within, there isn't the assertion of a yes or a no: nothing at all, there's nothing, it's like this (neutral, immobile gesture). There's only a constant Presence. A constant Presence, and it's in this Presence that the body takes refuge. But you know... There are other things [i.e., good ones] that come too, but those other things... there are perhaps... oh, they happen perhaps once or twice in twenty-four hours: all of a sudden, a light that is pure... Like that, something pure, which makes what we might call a minute of eternity That's good. But it's rare.

The body knows a lot, a lot of things about what happens (I think, in fact, about all that happens within its sphere of activity), but it's forbidden to say them. And those things are put in such a way that they can't be said, because the way they're put, they wouldn't make any sense for others. “Don't speak, don't speak.”

But the quantity of formations in the earth atmosphere that we might call “defeatist,” it's tre-men- dous! You wonder how everything isn't smashed, it's so... Everybody is all the time, all the time shaping catastrophes – expecting the worst, seeing the worst, observing nothing but the worst .... Their reactions... Oh, you know, it's down to the smallest things: the body observes everything. So when the reaction is in harmony, everything is fine; when there is that reaction I now call defeatist, if someone takes an object, he drops it. It happens all the time. There's absolutely no reason whatsoever why it should happen: it's the presence of the defeatist consciousness. Someone takes an object, and drops it; he wanted to do one thing, and he is made to do another.. And if (the body having been aware of it), if it makes the mistake of telling the person the thing AS IT IS, the person is completely upset!... It happened again two days ago – a very simple thing, you know, that is, just as it is, and the person is completely upset!

But you know, this Consciousness is amusing, it has put this body in contact with, if not all, at least a considerable number of desires that it should die! Everywhere, they are everywhere! It sees that, sees it as it is, but it's not affected at all anymore, it doesn't care in the least. It seems to be fully protected from all the things that come. It doesn't care in the least. Most of the time, they even make it laugh. But it's incredible!... And then, from time to time, a little flame, it's so lovely! And that Presence... That Presence, that Presence... These cells are like children: when they feel, everything, but everything disappears except that Presence; then there is... like a sigh of relief. But outwardly, it's invisible: if the body were suffering, it would amount to the same thing. Generally, when it suffers, it doesn't complain: it calls .... It calls and calls and calls .... And it's quite aware that it's absolutely useless, that if it only knew... how to go into immobility, go into silence, it would be enough. As soon as it does it...

But I am not quite sure (because it hasn't tried to find out), not quite sure that all those pains it feels all over, all the time, aren't coming from... aren't the effect of all the bad wills. They are all over the earth, you know. And most of the time, they're hardly conscious ....

Why is it like this?... Why, why?... Will you tell me why this exteriorization began (not began: it's here, on the earth) with this almost total Inconscient – the Inconscient, this almost total inertia? Why did it have to begin with this?... Why?

The mind has imagined all kinds of magnificent reasons, it builds constructions – that seems like childishness .... Why?

There's the whole side of Buddhism, nihilism and so on, according to which (we can give a translation for children) the Supreme Lord made a mistake! (Mother laughs) He blundered, so... And then we'll help Him get out of his blunder!

There's the other extreme: it's YOUR own stupidity that makes you feel it this way – but then, why do I have stupidity in me, where does it come from?

There is no doubt that everything is willed, everything has a meaning.

Yes, it's certain. It's certain.

That's certain.

And there's... The impression is: we don't understand because we are too small.

But why is this the result, this... suffering and suffering?...

(long silence)

We'll see.

¹ Zakir Hussain, who died on May 3.

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² Pavitra is dying – perhaps we should say, dying from it.

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³ Leonardo da Vinci left for France in 1515, and died there in 1519.

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⁴ A disciple once put this question to Sri Aurobindo: “is it true that the same consciousness that took the form of Leonardo da Vinci had previously manifested as Augustus Caesar, the first emperor of Rome? If so, will you please tell me what exactly Augustus Caesar stood for in the history of Europe and how Leonardo's work was connected with his?” Sri Aurobindo replied: “Augustus Caesar organised the life of the Roman Empire and it was this that made the framework of the first transmission of the Graeco-Roman civilisation to Europe-he came for that work and the writings of Virgil and Horace and others helped greatly towards the success of his mission. After the interlude of the Middle Ages, this civilisation was reborn in a new mould in what is called the Renaissance, not in its life-aspects but in its intellectual aspects. It was therefore a supreme intellectual, Leonardo da Vinci, who took up again the work and summarised in himself the seeds of modern Europe.” (Life, Literature and Yoga, p. 6, July 29, 1937)

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⁵ He is a doctor who some time ago had peritonitis and refused to be operated on, perfectly aware that it meant certain death – but death did not come. None of the doctors at the hospital where he had been taken was able to explain the miracle.

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