Surrender to the Divine Mother is central in the Integral yoga of Sri Aurobindo. The easiest way is to form the relation of mother and child. With all our limitations, shortcomings and demands of human nature, the Divine Mother leads us the way towards a wider and more enlightened path. Only sraddha and samarpan, faith and surrender then matters.
I see you have let the demons of self-doubt and doubt in general and melancholy get inside again and sit down at your table.
About Savitri | B1C2-10 Condition of the World (p.18)