Sri Aurobindo
Autobiographical Notes
and Other Writings of Historical Interest
Part Two. Letters of Historical Interest
1. Letters on Personal, Practical and Political Matters
(1890–1926)
Letters and Telegrams to Political and Professional
Associates 1906–1926
To Motilal Roy [9]1
[1913]
Dear M.
I write only about 3 points today.
1. Your R. S. Sharma I hold to be a police spy. I have
refused to see him because originally when he tried to force his way into my
house and win my confidence by his extravagances I received a warning against
him from within which has always been repeated. This was confirmed afterwards by
two facts, first, that the Madras Police betrayed a very benevolent interest in
the 
success of his mission, secondly, that he
came to Pondicherry afterwards as subeditor of a new Pondicherry paper, the
Independent, subsequently defunct and replaced by another the Argus, belonging
to the same proprietor who has been openly acting in concert with the British
Police against us in Pondicherry. In this paper he wrote a very sneering and
depreciatory paragraph about me, (not by name, but by allusion,) in which he
vented his spite at his failure. Failing even so to get any footing here, for
the Swadeshis were warned against him, he returned to Madras. He seems now to
have tried his hand with you at Calcutta and succeeded, probably, beyond his
expectations! I wonder when you people will stop trusting the first stranger
with a glib tongue who professes Nationalist fervour and devotion. Whether you
accept my estimate of him or not, you may be sure that his bhakti for me is
humbug – as shown by the above newspaper incident – and you must accept at least
the facts I have given you and draw any conclusions that common sense may
suggest to you.
2. Do not print Yoga and its Objects unless and until I
give you positive directions. It cannot be printed in its present form, and I
may decide to complete the work before it is printed. In any case parts of it
would have to be omitted or modified.
3. Next, money matters. I could not understand your
arithmetic about the Rs 40 and how we should gain by not getting it. The only
reason why we wrote constantly for it, was that it was necessary to us in our
present financial position, in which we have to provide anxiously for every need
and the failure of any expected sum reduces us to difficulties. I had reckoned
on the remainder of Madgaokar’s money to pay the sum still due for the rent of
our last house. Fortunately, the litigation connected with the house has kept
the matter hanging; but it may be demanded from us one day and we shall have to
pay at once, or face the prospect of being dragged into court and losing our
prestige here entirely. In future, let me ask you, never to undertake any
payment to us which you are not sure of being able to fulfil, because of the
great disorder in our arrangements which results.
Our position here now
is at its worst; since all efforts to get some help from here have been
temporarily fruitless and we have to depend on your Rs 50 which is insufficient.
We have to pay Rs 15 for rent, other expenses come to not less, and the
remaining Rs 20 cannot suffice for the food expenses of five people. Even any
delay in your money arriving makes our Manager “see darkness”. That is why we
had to telegraph. We did not know then that your last remittance of Rs 20 had
arrived; and our available money was exhausted. Our correspondence agent has
turned merchant and walked off to Madras indefinitely; in his absence we had
great difficulty in getting hold of your letter and indeed it is only today that
it reached our hands. Narayan will give you a new address to which please
address all letters in future.
There is no “reason” for my not writing to you. I never
nowadays act on reasons, but only as an automaton in the hands of Another;
sometimes He lets me know the reasons of my action, sometimes He does not, but I
have to act – or refrain from action – all the same, according as He wills.
I shall write nothing about sadhan etc. until I am out
of my present struggle to make the Spirit prevail over matter and circumstances,
in which for the present I have been getting badly the worst of it. Till then
you must expect nothing but mere business letters,– if any.
Kali