Doesn't Sri Aurobindo say anything?The Mother
Agenda
Volume 9
October 16, 1968
What do you have to say? Nothing?...
It's sad to see you like this.
I don't understand what's going on. Unless it's all the same thing [from the Vatican], but then it's really very obstinate.
Oh, the other day, I got a wave of their magic. It came back and went away. It remained for a day.
Ah?
It's something that takes hold of the brain and leaves you in a daze.
No, today it isn't the brain, it's... (After a long silence) I can't even say what it is.
Doesn't Sri Aurobindo say anything?
I haven't seen him these last few days.
(long silence)
I don't understand.
I do nothing but cough all the time.
This state I am in now began this morning, it's quite new. Yesterday, I was in pain, but it was physical. This is something different.
(silence)
It's strange.... The consciousness has become more and more, more and more intense (gesture spread out above), something like this (same gesture), dominating everything and... I think the most accurate way to put it is, not active.
This [the body] is like something floating within this consciousness, but it's not active.
(silence)
I can't explain.
It's like an ocean of light that keeps doing its work, and then, in it, there floats something... (Mother shakes her head as if not knowing what this “something,” her body, is).
It's not cut off,1 but not active, that's all.
(silence)
For instance, every morning I see four people; I don't speak, but the consciousness is fully there, it works, does its work with a power of concentration. Then they go away – and it goes away.
But this [the body] doesn't even have the sense of being an instrument, you understand.... I don't know what it is. It's not an instrument. I don't know what it is.
(Mother “looks”) It's deep ultramarine blue. Do you know that color?... That's it.
(long silence)
Don't you have anything to ask? We could see if it makes
something come (gesture of contact with the ocean)?
No, I was surprised that Sri Aurobindo didn't come to tell you what's going on or anyway to explain....
Yes, he did: yesterday morning, I had an attack (for the first time in my life), an attack of stomach cramps, very painful, and like a child I asked to be cured – and he cured me! I saw him, felt him.... But you see, he is interested in this [the transformation], that's all.
Of course, there is a reason, something that for some reason isn't revealed to me. All this isn't useless – not in the least, and also not... (what's the word?) unexpected, you understand?
Things seem to be organized for something to happen – what? I do not know.
(silence)
I think we must patiently wait until things have run their course.
Yes, all that is certainly for a reason, it's certain.
Yes.
We'll know afterwards.
Oh, last night, I think, there was a whole activity with P.L., I don't know what.
At night, things constantly happen, but I don't remember – I am deliberately not allowed to remember.
Of course, one doesn't want this [the body] to tire itself. One wants it to remain quite still, very still, as still as possible, for some reason or other.
We mustn't fret, we must wait patiently, and we'll see.
We'll see.
(Mother goes into a long contemplation)
Not to worry.
It's obviously not the time to say anything.
We'll see.
(before leaving, Satprem lays his forehead on Mother's knees)
I don't at all have a sense of weakness, not at all (gesture of descent of the Force). That is, it [the Force from above] is always there.
Oh, yes!... Yes, it's there!2
Something is going on, we'll see.
1 Mother means that this “something” (her body) is not cut off from the ocean of light, only it is not active.
2 As usual, an awesome cataract when one is at her feet.