The Mother

Agenda

Volume 9

February 3, 1968

(Mother first reads out for All India Radio the text of her reminiscences of her life in India: see conversation of January 27.)

Then I've written something else.... They wanted to prepare a sort of brochure on Auroville to distribute to the press, the government, etc., on the 28th,¹ and before that, there is in Delhi in two or three days a conference of all nations (“all nations” is an exaggeration, but anyway they say “all nations”). Z is going there, and she wants to take with her all the papers on Auroville. They have prepared texts – always lengthy, interminable: speeches and more speeches. So then I asked, I concentrated to know what had to be said. And all of a sudden, Sri Aurobindo gave me a revelation. That was something interesting. I concentrated to know the why, the how and so on, and all of a sudden Sri Aurobindo said... (Mother reads out a note:)

“India has become...

It was the vision of the thing, and it instantly translated into French words.

“India has become the symbolic representation of all the difficulties of modern mankind.

“India will be the land of its resurrection – the resurrection to a higher and truer life.”

And the clear vision: the same thing which in the history of the universe made the earth the symbolic representation of the universe so as to concentrate the work on one point, the same phenomenon is now taking place: India is the representation of all human difficulties on earth, and it is in India that the... cure will be found. And then, that is why – THAT IS WHY I was made to start Auroville.

It came and it was so clear, so tremendously powerful!

So I wrote it down. I didn't tell them how or why, I told them, “Put this at the beginning of your paper, whatever it is; you can say whatever you like, but put this first.”

(silence)

It was very interesting. It remained the whole time, for more than an hour, such a strong and clear vision, as if suddenly everything became clear. I often used to wonder about it (not “wonder,” but there was a tension to understand why things, here in India, have become such a chaos, with such sordid difficulties, and all of it piling up), and instantly, everything became clear, like that. It was really interesting. And immediately there was: “Here is why you have made Auroville.” I didn't know it, you understand, I did the thing under pressure, and it took larger and larger proportions (it's becoming really worldwide), and I would wonder why.... For a time I thought it was the only present possibility to prevent a war,² but it seemed to me a somewhat superficial explanation. Then it came all of a sudden: “Ah! That's why.”

And as that whole power was in it, I said, “Put it.” We'll see – they won't understand anything, but that doesn't matter, it will act.

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Soon afterwards

Then, I sent you a little note the other day....³ And this morning (all the early hours of the morning, till I came into contact with people), there was something. I noted it down so as to tell you, because I knew it was going... not to evaporate, but to fade out (Mother reads):

“The body is bathed in the Divine Consciousness...

It's like floating in water. That's the impression: the Divine Consciousness is everywhere, very strong – very strong – powerful, and the body is as if bathed in it; and the impression is of something which is still... a bit tough – that's it, a bit tough, somewhat like bark, a bit tough but beginning to be supple, beginning to have that suppleness, that plasticity. And the two things are like that, closely mingled. And this body, its state of consciousness, its state of being, its way of being, is like that (Mother resumes reading her note):

“It does its best to be translucent and transparent and not to obstruct or distort this Consciousness in its action.”

That's really the point: not exactly “transparent,” because transparent... a glass, for instance, is transparent, but it remains hard. It's an effort to melt – to melt, to identify like that, to melt. To such a point that when I am very quiet, not moving – when nothing moves inside, nothing moves outside, when I sit quietly and everything inside keeps still, there seems to be a dilation – a dilation – and like something that would want to melt. A very, very strong impression. And throughout the cells it brings about an extraordinary power of vibration! Something wholly out of proportion to the human body, you know – tremendous! And it goes through [the body] like that.

I've had a few times that experience with people: you know that when they come, I always want to give them a “bath of the Lord,” as I call it, but some respond and “pull”; and at such times (it has happened once or twice), all the cells seem to swell, like something growing very, very big, huge like this, and there is such a... an almost awesome vibration, you know. And when it comes, when I look, some people melt (not many, very few), but others are terrified! They get up and run away. And there are those who are struck with awe, as they say in English – they get dazed. I've noticed that several times. I simply used to think, “The Lord is doing his action” – but it's not that! It's... it's that there really is something changing in the body.

But now it has become clear, conscious, and the body... I just have to stop my activities even two or three seconds, one or two minutes at the most, for the body to feel as if it's floating, floating like that, floating.... You see an immensity, like an ocean of this vibrating, luminous, golden, powerful Consciousness, and the body floats in it.... I tell you, it's still somewhat like a piece of bark, but some parts are crumbling away. It's like a piece of bark that clumsily covers certain spots: they are the things that... still feel the identification; it's not perfect identification because it's still felt – but felt in such a bliss!...

From a practical point of view, if something goes wrong anywhere for any reason (most often under the influence of something coming from outside unexpectedly: a pain here, something wrong there, and so on), with that, almost instantly – almost instantly – the trouble disappears, and if I patiently remain in that state, the MEMORY of the trouble disappears. And that's how disorders which had become habits gradually disappear.

Mother, I have often wondered about something. It's not a question, it's a state when I meditate: very often I don't at all feel like repeating a mantra, I don't at all feel like having anything at all, I feel inclined to let myself flow blissfully into a sort of dissolution, really like a dissolution, a complete transparency, in which nothing moves anymore. And when I reach that point, something in me always takes over and says no.... Because I also feel the need to keep up aspiration, the life of aspiration; because even the life of aspiration disappears in that state.

Yes, I know that.

So which is the right thing?

Sri Aurobindo said it several times: as soon as the being is annulled, the essence, the essential purpose of individualization immediately reappears WITHOUT the ego's limits. But what you are speaking of, that sort of anguish that makes one stop,⁴ is a necessary movement till the whole being is ready, because if that annulment of the personality, of the individual, took place before all the elements of the body, or even of the vital or the mind, were ready... you understand, it would be dissolved, and then there's no knowing what would happen. So this need to get a grip on oneself occurs until one is entirely ready – when one is ready, one can let oneself go. And as soon as the fusion is done... (what can I call it?) not the “law” but what we might call the raison d'être [of individualization] comes back, and without the ego's limitations.

I had that experience in the vital and in the mind; now I see that it's the same in the body, that there is still a recall because this or that part, this or that element isn't yet ready and one has to wait until it's ready. But in fact, in this morning's experience, all that remained was like pieces of bark floating about.

Which means that the work is being done very fast.

But when the body is ready, it will be able to let itself go like that WITHOUT BEING DISSOLVED. And that's the work of preparation. The movement, yes, is to let oneself melt entirely. But the result is the ego's abolition, that is to say, an UNKNOWN state, you understand, which we may call “physically unrealized,” because all those who sought Nirvana did so by giving up their body, whereas our work is to make the body, the material substance, capable of melting; but then, the principle of individualization remains, and all the ego's drawbacks disappear. That's the present attempt. How to keep the form without the ego's presence? – that's the problem. Well, that's how it takes place, little by little, little by little. That's why it takes time: each element is taken up again, transformed.... That's the marvel, that is it (for the ordinary consciousness, it's a miracle): it's keeping the form while entirely losing the ego. For the vital and the mind, it's easier to understand (for most people it's very difficult, but still for those who are ready, it's easy to understand, and then the action can be much more rapid), but HERE, this (Mother points to her body), for it not to be dissolved by this movement of fusion...? Well, that's precisely the experience, that's it. And there is a slight movement of patience, a movement of... it's really the deep essence of compassion: the minimum wastage for the maximum effect. That is, one goes as fast as one can, but delays arise from the need to prepare the various elements.

That's precisely the so interesting curve at present unfolding. At times, you feel as if everything, everything is dissolving, getting disorganized; and I have observed closely: at first the physical consciousness wasn't sufficiently enlightened, and when those inner preparations took place, it would feel, “Ah, this must be what heralds death”; then, little by little, came the knowledge that it wasn't that at all, it was only the inner preparation to be capable, capable of identification. And then, on the contrary, the very clear vision of this plasticity so particular, this suppleness so extraordinary that if it were realized... once it's realized, it obviously means the abolition of the necessity of death.

This morning's experience was... Everything was an immense ocean of luminous consciousness, and so powerful! Tremendously powerful. And something so sweet at the same time, so compassionate, but causeless – there was no cause: just like that. Like Divine Love which is without object, it's like that. So this body starts floating in that, lighter and lighter, more and more transparent, and still remains... the impression is of bark, but not even all over. It's a strange impression of something that still has contradictions. But not deliberate contradictions, it's not that: incapacities – spots of powerlessness, a lack of receptivity. But little by little, gradually, slowly, that gets cured.

Each experience – and now it's going fast – each experience points to a great step forward.

(silence)

Every time the rule or domination of Nature's ordinary laws is, on one point or another, replaced (or must be or is going to be replaced on any point) by the authority of the Divine Consciousness, that creates a state of transition with all the appearances of a tremendous disorder and a very great danger. And as long as the body doesn't know, as long as it's in its state of ignorance, it gets panic-stricken (which is what happens in almost everyone), panic-stricken, it thinks it's a serious illness, and sometimes, with the help of imagination, it may even result in an illness. But originally it's not that: it's a withdrawal, the withdrawal of Nature's ordinary law with its adjunct of personal vital and mental law (but Nature's law in the body is generally much stronger than the mind's and the vital's law); well, it's the withdrawal of that law and its replacement by the other. So there is a moment when it's neither this nor that, and that moment is critical. But if the body begins to know, it remains still and has faith – trust and faith; it remains still, then all goes well. The difficulty soon passes and all goes well. So long as the body doesn't know... its reactions are disastrous. But for it to know automatically and spontaneously, it means that a large part of its elements must already be conscious and transformed. Now, it's all right. Not so long ago it was still necessary to stop, to fall silent, concentrate, to call the Presence, call on its faith, then everything was back in order. Now the movement is spontaneous.

And the surface, the very part that gives the sense of bark, is what will change last – what's going to happen? I don't know... I don't know. But it will change last.

There are amusing little details. When I am in the presence of someone who, for some reason or other, gets a shock or feels uneasy because now I am stooped (someone who knew me before), it creates an atmosphere that gives the body a sort of regret for this appearance – not a “regret,” but rather a disapproval of this appearance of decay (I am giving one example among many others). Then, almost immediately, there is the very clear vision of what can cure this, of the STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS that can cure this. But to be constant, this state has to be spontaneous.... There will be a moment of transition for this as for all the rest, and it will probably be dangerous. The state of truth-consciousness must be sufficiently ESTABLISHED to be spontaneous: there should be no need of a concentration and a will, you understand, the state should be spontaneous. Then it will be possible for the transition to occur.

In my life, I have been given so many, so many experiences, as proof that EVERYTHING is possible. For instance, when I was twenty-two, one night, after an experience I had in the night (I forget the details of it)... at the time women wore dresses that exactly touched the ground, just touched it without resting on it (gesture of skimming the ground), and in my experience at night, I had grown tall – in the morning, there was one inch between the dress and the ground! Which means that the body had grown one inch WITH THE NIGHT'S EXPERIENCE. You see, in the night's experience I had grown tall (I don't remember the details), and in the morning... And I've been given that material verification for many such experiences, so as to be sure, so the body may be convinced without having to repeat the experiences over and over again. So it KNOWS, it knows there is nothing impossible, it knows “impossible” doesn't mean anything.... But it doesn't depend on an individual will, you understand. The Consciousness which rules things is a marvel of wisdom, patience, compassion, endurance. When there is destruction or disorder, it means it's absolutely unavoidable, absolutely – because matter's resistance in the individual or in things is so strong that it quite naturally brings about disorder or destruction. But that doesn't form part of the Action, the supreme Action, which is a marvel. The body has understood that; it has understood, it is patient. Only, from time to time... (how can I put it?)... There are people whom I prevent from dying – several people. I don't yet have the consciousness, the conscious power to cure them, but the possibility is there and I maintain it above them. That is to say, it's not all-powerful in the sense that a certain receptivity, a certain response, a certain attitude are necessary which aren't always there (human natures are very fluctuating, there are ups and downs and more ups and downs, and that makes the work very difficult), but at times, during a down spell, when a being suffers or sags, there is something in the consciousness [of Mother], a compassion... (how can I explain that?)... Affliction and all those movements are movements of weakness, but “that” is something at once very strong and very sweet, almost like sorrow, and the whole, entire consciousness in the body rises like a prayer and an aspiration – a pure prayer: “Why are things still in this pitiful state, why? Why?” And it instantly has an effect [in the sick person]. Unfortunately, the effect doesn't last; it doesn't last because certain conditions in others are still necessary. But... it's wonderful, you know! It's something so wonderful. And it makes one understand the necessity of a presence on this side, a presence capable of feeling, understanding still IN THE OTHER WAY, so the suffering of others may... be a reality. And that also is taken into account, that also means time is needed, patience is needed. Now the body knows it – there's no longer any impatience; there is only, now and then, that sort of sorrow, especially when beings are full of aspiration, goodwill, faith, and in spite of it this suffering is still there, clinging. That on one side, and on the other, one thing: there is still a sort of horror and reprobation of acts of cruelty, of THE cruelty; that's... And then, there is this awesome Power – you feel, you can feel that a mere nothing, a simple little movement would, oh, bring about a catastrophe. So you have to keep that still, still, still... so what happens may always be the best.

Now stupidity, imbecility, ignorance, all those things are looked at with a patience... which waits for them to grow. But bad will and cruelty – especially viciousness, cruelty, what LOVES to cause suffering – that's still difficult, one still has to keep a hold on oneself. In figurative language (not “language,” but a way of being), it's Kali that wants to strike, and I have to tell her, “Keep still, keep still.” But that's a human transcription. All those gods, all those beings are real, they exist, but... it's a transcription. True truth is beyond all that.

So there.

Today is Mahasaraswati's day...⁵ (Laughing) She's chattered a lot!

¹ February 28, Auroville's inauguration.

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² See Agenda 8, September 21, 1966.

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³ “Instead of the consciousness being inside the body, it is the body which is inside the consciousness, yet it is still the body consciousness.”

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⁴ Satprem notes that it is not anguish, but rather a sensation that the life of aspiration is more important than the dissolution.

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⁵ Mahasaraswati, the universal Mother in her aspect of knowledge and perfection in work.

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