Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Letters
To Motilal Roy [9]1
[1913]
Dear M.
I write only about 3 points today.
1. Your R. S. Sharma I hold to be a police spy. I have
refused to see him because originally when he tried to force his way into my
house and win my confidence by his extravagances I received a warning against
him from within which has always been repeated. This was confirmed afterwards by
two facts, first, that the Madras Police betrayed a very benevolent interest in
the 
success of his mission, secondly, that he came to Pondicherry afterwards as
subeditor of a new Pondicherry paper, the Independent, subsequently defunct and
replaced by another the Argus, belonging to the same proprietor who has been
openly acting in concert with the British Police against us in Pondicherry. In
this paper he wrote a very sneering and depreciatory paragraph about me, (not by
name, but by allusion,) in which he vented his spite at his failure. Failing
even so to get any footing here, for the Swadeshis were warned against him, he
returned to Madras. He seems now to have tried his hand with you at Calcutta and
succeeded, probably, beyond his expectations! I wonder when you people will stop
trusting the first stranger with a glib tongue who professes Nationalist fervour
and devotion. Whether you accept my estimate of him or not, you may be sure that
his bhakti for me is humbug – as shown by the above newspaper incident – and you
must accept at least the facts I have given you and draw any conclusions that
common sense may suggest to you.
2. Do not print Yoga and its Objects unless and until I
give you positive directions. It cannot be printed in its present form, and I
may decide to complete the work before it is printed. In any case parts of it
would have to be omitted or modified.
3. Next, money matters. I could not understand your
arithmetic about the Rs 40 and how we should gain by not getting it. The only
reason why we wrote constantly for it, was that it was necessary to us in our
present financial position, in which we have to provide anxiously for every need
and the failure of any expected sum reduces us to difficulties. I had reckoned
on the remainder of Madgaokar’s money to pay the sum still due for the rent of
our last house. Fortunately, the litigation connected with the house has kept
the matter hanging; but it may be demanded from us one day and we shall have to
pay at once, or face the prospect of being dragged into court and losing our
prestige here entirely. In future, let me ask you, never to undertake any
payment to us which you are not sure of being able to fulfil, because of the
great disorder in our arrangements which results.
Our
position here now is at its worst; since all efforts to get some help from here
have been temporarily fruitless and we have to depend on your Rs 50 which is
insufficient. We have to pay Rs 15 for rent, other expenses come to not less,
and the remaining Rs 20 cannot suffice for the food expenses of five people.
Even any delay in your money arriving makes our Manager “see darkness”. That is
why we had to telegraph. We did not know then that your last remittance of Rs 20
had arrived; and our available money was exhausted. Our correspondence agent has
turned merchant and walked off to Madras indefinitely; in his absence we had
great difficulty in getting hold of your letter and indeed it is only today that
it reached our hands. Narayan will give you a new address to which please
address all letters in future.
There is no “reason” for my not writing to you. I never
nowadays act on reasons, but only as an automaton in the hands of Another;
sometimes He lets me know the reasons of my action, sometimes He does not, but I
have to act – or refrain from action – all the same, according as He wills.
I shall write nothing about sadhan etc. until I am out
of my present struggle to make the Spirit prevail over matter and circumstances,
in which for the present I have been getting badly the worst of it. Till then
you must expect nothing but mere business letters,– if any.
Kali