Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 2. 1936

Letter ID: 1757

Sri Aurobindo — Nirodbaran Talukdar

October 20, 1936

S is much better in the morning nowadays, but troublesome in the afternoon. Getting cured by halves?

Let us hope so. Half by half is better than nothing.

T has given measurements, but wouldn’t it be better to enquire first from the Company if they have any supports for this trouble? If not, whether they can prepare according to measurements given. All this will take some time, but it is not very urgent, is it?

No. You are right, of course.

Dr. Sircar has a touch of cold! Please save me; no more patients, especially big and bulky ones!

Well, well, prevent the cold from becoming bulky.

7.30 p.m.

Y is all right except for a tense feeling on the left side of the neck.

[Sri Aurobindo underlined “tense feeling on the left side of the neck”.]

Not physical? Circulation?

M has been troubled by D.L.’s “ghost”. He told me he had a dream and heard a voice calling him and clasping him – voice unerringly of D.L.

Sorry, have to postpone M’s ghostly troubles till tonight. Terrible night the last! (No, no – wasn’t attacked by a pseudo-D.L., only by the demon of correspondence.) Have written, trying to cheer him up in the meanwhile.

Today his trouble began again. Any link?

Well, you said, did you not, that this headache was of long standing? If so, the link with D.L. must be later – or only a mental association.

Why should he have these dreams connected with D.L.?

Many people have been seeing or dreaming of the ghost of D.L.

I asked M to get rid of his fear. He has no hereditary taint of insanity. But seeing D.S.’s off-centre, is it possible?

Don’t know if there was any insanity in the family. D.S. is only insane at one point which can be touched at any time. But apart from that he is though narrow and extreme in all things, yet intellectually brilliant, an admirable linguist, reasoning and seeing with extraordinary acuteness and clearness when he chooses. He is more “intimate” with French than any Indian here – understands the spirit of the language, reproduces it in his writing. A clear and accurate observer too.

Why has D.L. such a special fascination for him, in coming to call him? Is it really possible that some part of D.L. is, after all, hovering over the Asram and trying to create some mental, vital or nervous havoc? Or some other force taking D.L.’s shape or voice trying to push in?

D.L. does not call him; it is not she at all. When she got ill something possessed her body and physical consciousness and turned everything against her recovery. When she died the Mother separated this from her – but still there was a strong earthly attachment left in her vital form – attachment to husband, food, comfort, relatives etc., etc. This part threatened to become a “ghost”, and Mother had to work hard to get rid of it. But it went and there is no ghost, that is no vital stuff walking about as a separate entity with the soul gone out of it. But the suggestion was left in the Asram atmosphere and some Force has got hold of it making all sorts of dreams and fears in the minds of those who admit them. But I think that too is fading out gradually. Sorry to inflict all this occultism on you...

I somewhat understand M’s involvement. You know he had an experience: hurried loud breathing, semi-conscious condition, etc., with one hand on D.L.’s abdomen, as if some Force had descended and possessed him. We looked admiringly at him and thought the Mother was working through him; unfortunately the fellow took it all wrong, as your letter showed.

M’s disturbance was due to his wrong movement at the time of D’s [D.L.’s] death. He had a propensity to become a big Yogi and a mighty instrument. At the time I was putting and so was the Mother a stupendous force to give D a last chance. M was trying to pull. Perhaps he felt and was shaken by the Force which was not intended for him at all – because he pulled it. He pretended to himself that he was doing it in an egoless fashion. Rubbish! Self-deception! He was delighted at being so great an instrument and at the admiration of others. I had to interfere because like that he might pull some wrong force on himself. It may be even that he did get something, not much I think, of the other dark Force that was there. This prepared the field for undesirable suggestions. My letter also bowled him over – but that was unavoidable. I suppose it will be all right, but for a moment he was shaky.