Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 2. 1936

Letter ID: 1725

Sri Aurobindo — Nirodbaran Talukdar

September 16, 1936

G says he feels “tous les bien”!

Good Lord! what’s that? French?

At times I think I am really useless as a doctor; I haven’t the gift for it – wrong choice of profession altogether, like that of your Yoga, Sir! Both of them forced down my throat! I often feel like asking Mother to take off this responsibility from me and give it to some fitter person.

To whom?

Those 5 years in Edinburgh weren’t just play. I have done some studies surely, which are not worth a candle, for people with much less knowledge, quacks even, seem to be more successful.

Book knowledge is necessary, but not much use by itself.

What are the elements then wanting in me? Lack of faith in the drugs given, lack of Faith in the Force?

Lack of experience, lack of decision, vacillating intuition, want of vision.

It is true that I haven’t much faith in our drugs, but with these very drugs doctors are becoming enormously successful.

They go ahead, don’t mind how many people they kill, but they go – human Motorcars.

It seems I don’t know yet the right way to call down the Force, or is it because the “canalisation” hasn’t been done yet?

Right – that’s it.

I am getting more and more disappointed in my doctorship, as in Yoga, since I hear that you are now trying more for transformation of nature than for experience.

Because without transformation of nature, the blessed experience is something like a gold crown on a pig’s head – won’t do. Picturesque perhaps, but –

... Please give me precise practical suggestions on the art of healing.

My God, man! I am not a doctor.

What to do? How to bring down the Force?

How? is there a how? You call, you open, it comes (after a time). Or, You don’t call, you open, it comes. Or, You call, you don’t open, it doesn’t come. Three possibilities. But how – ? Well, God he knows, or perhaps he doesn’t.

Seeing the miraculous effects of Homeopathy, Dr. Manilal asked me to study it with R. I don’t know if it’s any use – as study alone won’t do. One must have the gift. Have I?

Can’t say! Had you the poetic gift some years ago?