Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 1. 1935

Letter ID: 1305

Sri Aurobindo — Nirodbaran Talukdar

April 8, 1935

I want to love and love completely and lose myself in love. If one can think of losing oneself for mortal love, why not for the love of the Divine?...

Well, why not? But it must be done in the divine way, not in the mortal. Otherwise –

Let me then say definitely that I love you and you love me a little. Then let us meet somewhere in this real matter. You may remark, “This man has gone mad, otherwise why all these asthmatic gaspings?” Yes, I am mad, Sir, and impatient too; and who can be and remain otherwise unless and until one is divine oneself?

Ummm! don’t you think there are enough people in that condition already here without the Ashram doctor adding himself to the collection?

Unfortunately, experience seems to show that one must be divine oneself before one can bear the pressure of divine love.

Come down, Sir,– for heaven’s sake give us something and make life more substantial and concrete. I am really beginning to doubt if things like divine Love, Knowledge, etc. can be brought down in me!

In the old days long before you came plenty of things were brought down – including the love. Hardly one could bear it and even then only in a small measure. Is it any better now, I wonder? it does not look like it. That is why I want the Supermind first,– and especially the peace, the balance in an intensity unshakable. There are several who have been trying to push on with the intensities, but –. Well, let us hope for the best. For God’s sake, peace, balance, an unshakable supramental poise and sanity first. Ecstasies and intensities of other kinds can come afterwards.

X says that my depression is due to the general atmosphere which is rather hostile since yesterday. He adds that it is in a way good, for it proves that one is open.

[Sri Aurobindo drew an arrow indicating “for it proves that one is open”.]

Open to the general atmosphere? Considering what the general atmosphere is just now, that is hardly a desirable aperture.