Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Volume 4
(...) should be still ten years. Fifty six! Good god! However, perhaps before that age I will have some authentic spiritual experience that will make the spiritual voyage more heartening.
Rather latish, but if it is the goal you reach and if it is “sure”! Obviously many things ought to happen before you reach the final goal.
But no – I am tending to be gripped by my arch-enemy – the melancholic vairagya. I will end on a cheerful note. I wrote such a lovely song night before last and taught it to Minnie1 and Millie2. They are singing extremely well and Minnie may, in future, fill the void of Hashi in my region of deep regret. She hasn’t got Hashi’s depth yet nor her sense of rhythm but her voice is marvellously sweet and she is almost as quick to grasp. If she works hard she may sing for the Gramophone and fetch a considerable sum to the Ashram, I am sure. But there is time for that.
Biren told me this morning in Calcutta the orthodox musicians are now willing to give me a real reception in the stately way. I feel a vengeful gladness, forgive me, for they have always decried me and now they are bound to admit that I am somebody (forgive this uncontrollable spirit of glad revengefulness for once, Guru!).
But to be more serious, grant that such eulogy, etc. may not feed my gross ego. May I always be conscious that whatever success I achieve in any field is due to your grace and for your work – not for my petty self-satisfaction.
Today happens to be 22nd November the day I came here fifteen years ago in 1928.1 have gained so much at your feet and through Mother’s unspeakable sweetness. May I grow more and more conscious of her divinity and yours!