Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Volume 4
I naturally do not accept your usual solution of going away – I am glad to see, however, that there is a change for the better, since you do not talk of giving up spiritual effort as impossible for you, but, instead, speak of still continuing to pray to Krishna and seek help from him. There is, however, no reason for so much discouragement. You have had a tumble, all the more distressing for you as you thought you had gained fixed mastery – always a dangerous thing to do prematurely as it invites the lower forces to try to prove the opposite. But you have tumbled before and got up and gone farther on the Way. That is what you must do always. Don’t attach so decisive an importance to this passing failure. Of course you must try not to yield even a little, if or when the thing comes up again. But to give up is not admissible.
I thought I had already told you that your turn towards Krishna was not an obstacle. In any case I affirm that positively in answer to your question. If we consider the large and indeed fundamental part he played in my own sadhana, it would be strange if the part he has in your sadhana could be considered objectionable. Sectarianism is a matter of dogma, ritual, etc., not of spiritual experience; the concentration on Krishna is a self-offering to the ishta-deva. If you reach Krishna you reach the Divine; if you can give yourself to him, you give yourself to me. Your inability to identify may be because you are laying too much stress on the physical aspects, consciously or unconsciously. In any case it does not very much matter; we have accepted your loyalty and the devotion of your offering of work and service. All else that is needed can come of itself afterward. There is nothing wrong with your self-offering in works and in service; it is quite what it should be; you have no reason to feel worried about it.
Don’t be too diffident and don’t be too easily discouraged. More resilience in difficulties and more faith in your spiritual destiny!