Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Volume 3
I am extremely glad to know that the worst of the attack has passed; I hope the after effects will quickly disappear. You had stood out so well for two months and repelled all incipient movements of the kind, that the sudden violence of this one was not expected – especially as the last darshan had gone off well. But when they get a chance these forces take it.
I quite agree with you in not relishing the idea of another attack of this nature. I am myself, I suppose, more a hero by necessity than by choice – I do not love storms and battles – at least on the subtle plane. The sunlit way may be an illusion, though I do not think it is – for I have seen people treading it for years; but a way with only natural or even only moderate fits of rough weather, a way without typhoons surely is possible – there are so many examples: durgaṃ pathastat1 [difficult of going is that path] may be generally true and certainly the path of laya or Nirvana is difficult in the extreme to most (although in my case I walked into Nirvana without intending it or rather Nirvana walked casually into me not so far from the beginning of my yogic career without asking my leave). But the path need not be cut by periodical violent storms, though that it is so for a great many is an obvious fact. But even for these, if they stick to it, I find that after a certain point the storms dimmish in force, frequency, duration. That is why I insisted so much on your sticking – for if you stick, the turning point is bound to come. I have seen some astonishing instances here recently of this typhoonic periodicity beginning to fade out after years and years of violent recurrence.
These things are not part of the normal difficulties, however 
acute, of the nature but especial formations – tornadoes which start (usually from a particular point, sometimes varying) and go whirling round in the same circle always till it is finished. In your case the crucial point, whatever may have been the outward starting-point if any, is the idea or feeling of frustration in the sadhana; once that takes hold of the mind, all the rest follows. That again is why I have [been] putting all sorts of suggestions before you for getting rid of this idea – not because my suggestions, however useful and true if they can be followed, are binding laws of Yoga, but because if followed they can wipe out this point of danger. A formation like this is very often the result of something in past lives – the Mother has so seen it in yours – which prolongs a karmic samskar (as the Buddhists would say) and tries to repeat itself once again. To dissolve it ought to be possible if one sees it for what it is and is resolved to get rid of it – never allowing any mental justification of it, however logical, right and plausible the justification may seem to be – always replying to all the mind’s arguments or the vital’s feelings in favour of it, like Cato2 to the debaters, “Delenda est Carthago” – “Carthage must be destroyed”, Carthage in this case being the formation and its nefarious circle.
Anyway the closing idea in your letter is the right one. “The Divine is worth ferreting out even if oceans of gloom have to be crossed”. If you could confront the formation always with that firm resolution, it should bring victory. In the Mother’s vision Kali did express a wish to interfere and break the thing – I don’t know how she proposes to do it – by giving you the strength you pray for or by breaking the head of the unwelcome lodger or visitor. I hope she will soon do it.