Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 2. 1934 — 1935

Letter ID: 614

Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar

September 1935

Private

Well, I think I know Harin’s psychology pretty well by this time and there is nothing new to me in all that you write, nor anything inexplicable in his actions or motives. I am quite aware of the alternate adoring and bowing of which you speak, and always have been – it is a fairly common thing in human nature. I am not frightened by the prospect – for my motives in dealing with people are not those of the ego. Besides, from the first I knew that Harin would either rise very high or fall very low or do both – and I took the risk, as it seemed worth taking.

My cryptic utterances were not in the least meant as a defence of Harin. I did the defending business in days when I was still trying to “harmonise” the people here – but I have given that up as a bad job. Harmony can come with the loss of the ego or it may come in the supramental whose nature is harmony; but before – well, it is more unreasonable than asking for the moon. How can there be harmony in a world of ego? (...)

I had not heard of the Gramophone letter; but I suppose I could tell the motives behind it – if I cared to do so. Harin’s grievance about these things was that we allowed you to publish your poetry, write in the papers, sing, play music, have music parties, call Udayshankar, etc., etc., all “vital things” – while he was prevented by us from doing any of them. As almost everybody in the Ashram thinks about such things, so he too thought that the difference made was due to personal partiality, and that the Mother’s rule of the Ashram was full of partiality, etc. which is also a thing almost everybody has thought and probably still thinks about it. Voilà. Of course they don’t think that of any so called “privilege” given to themselves – for that is quite tolerable! So the world is made.

Finally, why occupy your mind with Harin? It won’t help what you are now trying to do in the sadhana. For your relation with him is the clash of two egos and you are trying to get out of that line of business altogether.