old Rishis were always complaining, for each time the tapas broke they had to start afresh till it was reconstructed.Sri Aurobindo
Letters of Sri Aurobindo
Volume 2. 1934 — 1935
Letter ID: 583
Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar
April 12, 1935
Mother,
Will you be so good as to ask Chandulal to be a little prompt. I feel suddenly a new enthusiasm – after a long time and want to do hours of japa, prayer, etc. to you for your love and in a sort of secure seclusion in that room. I want to do as much as I can to get an opening to you and I want your especial force. I want your especial aid to be as patient as you want to try some austerities in my day concentration so that I may not be discouraged (as I always am after a spell of strenuous effort) by my meditation, etc. not yielding results. I want to do all this for real concrete surrender to you and I feel if I really try now while this enthusiasm is burning I may get something. In any case I sincerely want to try and don’t want to weep in future if I fail this time. But let me try with your and Sri Aurobindo’s special blessing. But that cloison1 is badly needed and please ask Chandulal to do it tomorrow if possible. If not well tant pis – but I will still try in Arjava’s former room then.
You are asking for an impossible speed – I mean about the cloison. The work is begun and going on, but it needs a little more time to be ready. However, Mother is asking Chandulal to hurry it up as much as possible.
Not to get discouraged when there is no immediate result is very important – for then the force within sinks and when the force within sinks there is the tapo-bhanga2 of which the old Rishis were always complaining, for each time the tapas broke they had to start afresh till it was reconstructed.
Tonight, I think I shall have time for work on the Nishkriti. I have in fact started making minor improvements and marking the passages where the style is deficient and the inspiration for the right change does not immediately come. I shall also look at the Translator’s note and see what has to be done.
P.S. The Mother has just seen in Chandulal’s report that the cloison will be ready and put in on Tuesday.
P.P.S. Gone through a lot of Deliverance, one-third – shall finish preliminary [?] which I will send chapter by chapter for typist.
1 Cloison: partition-wall.
2 tapo-bhanga: interruption in austere ascetic meditation or austere devotion to God.