Sri Aurobindo

Letters of Sri Aurobindo

Volume 2. 1934 — 1935

Letter ID: 539

Sri Aurobindo — Roy, Dilip Kumar

1934 (?)

I am afraid it would be quite impossible for me to give an adequate answer without speaking in detail about everything that has recently been happening in Harin and what happened before. It was because I could not do that or unveil the special circumstances that compelled me not to send your letter that I spoke indefinitely of “other reasons” and appealed to you to believe that I was acting for the best and had no other choice. If I had been able to say more, I would have done so at once and any such appeal would have been unnecessary. I fear I can do little more now than repeat that appeal. Many times difficult circumstances have arisen in the Ashram; I have always tried to act for the best that could be under the circumstances. I had to do so in this case also.

When Harin first came here and began writing his poems, it was the Mother’s strong feeling that they should not be published now, but only when certain things inner [and?] outer had happened, and even then only when we felt that it should be done. Harin agreed and it was at this time and I suppose for this reason that he asked you not to publish them. Since then we had thought of publishing one book, but a choice had to be made and through want of time, etc. I failed to do it and the matter dropped for a long time. I know nothing about the poems you speak of beyond what Harin wrote to us. He said that he wanted now to publish his poems and we said he could do so. I gather that it is in certain magazines that he wished to publish. I believe that about publication of books the original understanding remains still. More than this I do not know and cannot say on this subject.

Harin’s estrangement is not due to the report about the sonnets, but began, I believe, because all sorts of things were reported to him about you and your comments on him, his capacities and his character. Whatever was unfavourable came to his ears, no doubt with exaggeration and distortions; what was favourable did not, I suppose, reach him. My impression is that this has been going on steadily, almost, though slightly, from the beginning, much more seriously later on. I have told you already that I tried to remedy matters and was on the point of succeeding. But another spate of reports came and made a new mess. I hope for better things hereafter, but I have to wait for it as I had to wait for the ending of the estrangement between you and Saurin. You may remember that on that matter too I asked you not to send your proposed letter of reconciliation to him and it was only because I wanted things to be ripe on the other side for which I was putting pressure.

How on earth you jumped to the conclusion that I wanted Harin to break with you I cannot imagine. Merely from the poem? I had no reason to suppose that it was an attack on you (I think he had no anger against you then) and not an [?] of himself against a criticism on his ignorance of technique, especially as he named to me the person who had urged him to learn it. My “very beautiful” referred to the language and form of the poem; it was not an approval of any attack upon anybody or even of all the state of mind that was or might be behind the poem. And what a queer idea that we do not mind how people are dead against each other, provided they are sweet to us? That would mean, apart from the egoism of the attitude, that we put a sanction of acquiescence on all the quarrels, rivalries, antipathies in the Ashram! There are surely plenty of wrong things in the Ashram whose existence does not prove that they are a part of our Yoga or approved by us.

No man is perfect; the vital is there and the ego is there to prevent it. It is only when there is the total transformation of the external and the internal being down to the very subconscient, that perfection is possible. Till then imperfection will remain our common heritage.