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At the Feet of The Mother

Some Diary Notes – 2

 

2

March 26, 1956

 

Yesterday morning I wrote to the Mother, asking what had happened on February 29. I opined that it was something connected with the Supermind’s gripping the physical vital.

In the evening after tennis the Mother passed by, smiling — and said: “You are behind by a century.”

I gave her a note at the time of groundnut-distribution: “From what you said after tennis, I feel sure that the whole blooming thing has come down. Hurrah! And now there is hope for such as I.”

She read the note and laughed and said: “Years ago I had told you that I would call you from wherever you would be when the Supermind came. So I did call you. But you didn’t understand.”

I replied: “Mother, I returned from Bombay as soon as I could. And on the very day of the descent — February 29 — I saw you standing in the railway compartment of the Bombay Mail in which I had left Madras.”

“Oh it was the same day? It is very good that you saw me.

I may record that in 1938, before I left for Bombay at the end of February, the Mother promised to call me back if the Supermind came down. She was expecting the descent some time in May. I, however, got no telegram — and Sri Aurobindo’s letter to me said that the event expected had not happened.

I learnt many years later that the Supermind had come but could not be fixed here.

Now, on February 29 this year, late in the evening, it came for good! What Sri Aurobindo and the Mother had worked for during 30 years happened at last.

I wonder when the world will realise that in 1956 the greatest event in its history took place. Of course the detailed working out of the Supermind upon earth and even in the Mother’s body will take long, but the full general presence of it in her is there now and also its general working on ourselves and the world.

There is now hope for the weakest amongst us, for the Supermind is above the universe’s laws and brings sheer omnipotence to our aid.

It seems that three immediate effects are possible. One is a sudden and radical clearing of difficulties. Another is a slow but quite perceptibly sure clearing. Still another is a final gathering up of difficulties prior to their clearance: difficulties may appear to increase, but really what will take place is like one’s sweeping together the dust of a room before throwing it out. One must have no fear but face everything with faith and certitude.

I find examples of all these effects here. I myself feel the second effect.

I can hardly contain myself with joy at the Mother’s victory. May all our hearts belong to her!

 

March 29, 1956

 

This morning the Mother distributed at Pranam time the printed copy of a painting by Krishnalal, “The Golden Purusha”, with a quotation in French and English from an old “Prayer and Meditation” of her own, dated September 25, 1914 and beginning “O divine adorable Mère” — “O divine adorable Mother”. The English version ran:

The Lord has willed and Thou dost execute:
A new Light shall break upon the earth.
A new world shall be born,
And the things that were promised shall be fulfilled.

After the Pranam the Mother went up. Those who daily met her on the first floor gathered there as usual. She sat in her chair to hear, as she did every day, the reports from various departments. But before starting the work she asked from each one present the copy of the message. In her own hand she scratched out certain words in the French original and substituted others. When she came to the English version she consulted her disciples about the right turns of expression for the change needed. I was sitting at the door of Sri Aurobindo’s room, from where the Mother at work with the department-representatives could be seen. She called me and I contributed my bit to the suggestions given. The English message now read in its altered form:

Lord, Thou hast willed, and I execute,
A new light breaks upon the earth,
A new world is born.
The things that were promised are fulfilled.

The transformation of the future tense into the present marked the Mother’s first open disclosure of what had taken place on February 29. But we were asked not to broadcast the disclosure. She particularly told me that the changes done in the texts were not for general circulation yet. As the editor of Mother India I must have been suspected of the journalist’s itch for a “scoop”. I promised to keep the “secret”. It was understood that on April 24 she would make an announcement and permit the changes to be made widely known. However, the same evening I was cross-questioned by a friend about them. News had leaked out that something very interesting and significant had been done upstairs after the Pranam, and people were curious to learn what it had been. I had a hard time of it to evade giving a straight answer and yet not tell a lie.

So far Mother India has carried the old version as its second motto, the first being Sri Aurobindo’s famous two-paragraphed “The Supramental is a truth…” From the issue of April 24, it has been resolved, the new version alone will appear as our motto.

 

April 5, 1956

 

I asked the Mother to tell me more precisely about the Great Event of February 29. I said I had to write about it in Mother India. “Has the whole Supermind descended?” The Mother answered:

“The Supramental Light, Consciousness and Force have come. But the Supramental Ananda has not yet come. You speak of a descent. But I speak of a manifestation. Descent is something that occurs in relation to an individual with the kind of psychological structure he has. You can refer to planes below and planes above in reference to this structure. Where the universe is concerned, there is no meaning in the term ‘descent’. There is only manifestation.”

I understood that we individuals have various levels connected with our bodies. The vital plane is connected with our abdominal region. The heart region has to do with the emotional being, the head with the mind plane. And above the head there are the spiritual ranges and on top of them the Supermind. Our consciousness can ascend and the Supermind can descend. Such a system of levels does not hold for the universe. However, I could not help asking: “Mother, is not the Supermind superior to our universe? From where has it manifested?”

“There is no ‘where’. It just manifested. You are using your mind too much in regard to these more-than-mental realities.”

As the Mother seemed impatient with my attitude I did not press my investigation further. I only inquired: “Does the manifestation imply that the Supermind involved within matter has emerged?”

“I know that you have this impression, but that is not the fact. The involved Supermind has not emerged. But now its emergence is not a problem at all. It is inevitable as the result of the manifestation of the free Supermind in what I call the earth’s subtle atmosphere. It is merely a matter of time.”

 

May 24, 1956

 

I wrote to the Mother: “Ever since I came back from Bombay I have been constantly feeling supported by the New Power that has come into the earth’s subtle atmosphere. I have been feeling that all difficulties belong to an old world that is really dead. But, although the sense of being a part of your life and of your work is often strong, I seem to be lingering just within the borders of the new world instead of penetrating right to its centre. I want so much to be wholly yours. Won’t you do something to absorb me into yourself? What should I do on my side?”

I kept my note on a table near the place where the Mother took her lunch with Pranab. As usual I sat in the space outside her bathroom. When she finished her lunch she took my note and went into the bathroom by its inner door. Having read the note she came out through the outer door. I was on my knees to receive her. She said: “Ça viendra” (“It will come”). I asked her: “When?” She replied: “Surely you don’t want me to mention the date?” Then I said: “No — but please make it come soon.” She smiled.

 

May 30, 1956

 

I wrote to the Mother: “Is it true that you have said the following or something like it? — ‘Only four people realised the fact of the Supramental Manifestation — one in the Ashram and three outside.’ I can very well believe that there was only one person in the Ashram — namely, yourself! But the three outsiders puzzle me. How did they manage to do what hundreds here didn’t?”

The Mother told me after her post-lunch visit to her bathroom: “What I said was not that four people knew it was the Supramental Manifestation, but that when the manifestation took place they had some unusual experience because of it even if they did not understand why. I at first thought there was only one person in the Ashram to whom an unusual experience had happened, but afterwards I found there had been two. Among those outside, I counted you.”

I was surprised to hear this. The Mother continued: “You wrote to me — didn’t you? — that on the night of the 29th February I was with you. I had promised you, long ago when you had gone from here, that I would inform you at once if the Supermind manifested. I never forgot this. And when the Supermind did manifest, I went out to tell you.”

“You did do that, Mother?” I said, hardly believing my ears. She answered: “Yes.”

I feel unspeakably grateful to find that she thinks me so connected with her work.

 

November 25, 1956

 

In the morning the Mother said: “On this birthday I am not giving you any books because you have all of them.” I replied: “Not all. I don’t have On the Veda and Poems from Bengali.” She asked Champaklal to pick them out for me.

When she went for lunch I kept a note ready for her: “The books you will be giving me are certainly welcome, but what I would most like to read today is something else. You once told me that you would show it to me one day — but I think you said you would do so when I would be more worthy. If greater worthiness is the standard, I feel sure I shall not be shown what I want. But one can always hope for Grace. I am referring to what you wrote on February 29, just after the Supramental Manifestation.”

On finishing her lunch the Mother stopped at the table where I had placed my note. Usually she takes these notes to the bathroom and reads them there. But this one she read, standing by the table. Then she came to me. I had kept ready the flower whose significance is Prayer. On taking it from me she said: “I have read your prayer. If I can find the paper on which I have written, I shall bring it for you in the evening during the interview. If I have to search for it for an hour I shan’t be able to show it to you.”

In the evening, when I went into her room at the Playground, I saw that she had brought the paper with her. She said: “You won’t understand what I have written, but try to keep your mind absolutely quiet and receive it.” I said: “Perhaps it is not meant to be understood.” She laughed and said: “Probably.” Then she explained the background of the writing: “The whole thing is not so much a vision or an experience as something done by me. I went up into the Supermind and did what was to be done. There was no need for any verbal formulation as far as I was concerned, but in order to put it into words for others I wrote the thing down. Always, in writing, a realisation, a state of consciousness, gets somewhat limited: the very act of expression narrows the reality to some extent. Well, here is what I wrote.”

Then the Mother read out the French. It began with the words: “La Prèsence Divine est là parmi nous.” She was as if addressing all of us. The next sentence, as far as I remember, was: “J’avais une forme d’or plus immense que tout l’univers.” Then she went on to say that she found herself in front of a massive door, on whose other side was the world. And she heard the words: “The time has come.” She heard them in English and not in French. Then she lifted up with her hands a huge hammer of gold and struck one blow upon the door. The door crumbled down. A tremendous flood of light poured out and swept all over the universe.

When the Mother had finished reading, I asked to take the paper into my hands and to read it myself so that I might catch better the French. She hesitated just a bit and said, a little shyly and doubtfully: “You’ll give it back to me?” “Of course,” I replied, laughing. After I returned the paper she remarked: “When I came back from the Supermind, I thought that with so stupendous an outpouring of light everybody would be lying flat. But when I opened my eyes I found everybody sitting quietly and perfectly unconscious of what had happened.”

I thanked the Mother very much for the act of Grace in her showing me the precious document.((( I did not know at the time what a rare privilege it was to have seen what the Mother made public only after four years had passed. The account of her experience was given to the sadhaks on February 29, 1960. As I had understood that she had shown me her account in private, I never breathed a word about it to anybody. I have reason to believe that one or two others had also been told by her of what she had done. But none of them seems to have read her account.)))

 

November 26, 1956

 

No hope for me unless you break
Even from within my Cave
The gate of God the Gloom
Just as you broke from the infinite room
The door of God the Gold
And set free wave on dazzling wave,
Omnipotence-sea that rolled
Over all earth and gulfed all things
In the love that turns clay Supermind.
But, O sweet splendour, find
Yourself not only high above
But deep below in the blindnesses
And crumble down my stone
Of a heart! Unless
You are one with my night I shall never be
One with your solar infinity.

Mother India, June 1975; March 1975.

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