Without a doubt there is much human pain and suffering associated with death. None can deny that. And this suffering is not the prerogative of the poor. It comes to all though the outer causes may differ, the poor suffer because the hand that fed them has suddenly gone. The rich suffer because the heart that fed their feelings or walked as a companion is gone. Human beings are afflicted with all kinds of misery, the rich and poor all alike. Therefore we have to look at the real cause of our misery. death, especially untimely Death is surely one such human tragedy but the true reason that this seems and is felt so tragic is because we are ignorant of the hereafter. This ignorance being widespread if not universal has led to the habitual association of death with a tragedy. Now it has got so much inbuilt into our system especially combined with the power of collective suggestion that we instinctively react with sorrow and suffering even to the idea of Death. This is especially true of our emotional and sensational parts where the grip of ignorance and ignorant attachment is very strong.
What then is the remedy and how to deal with this? It is obvious that before even we think of helping others we should have worked out this fear within ourselves. Each part in us can be appealed for a deeper and higher and truer response. Reason can look at Death as something inevitable thus far and hence it is best for any rational man to stay prepared for this eventuality that is bound to strike us and others sometime. Here our religious beliefs do help. Leaving aside the argument of their validity and basis for the moment (which would be a different subject) it has been documented that religions and people who believe in rebirth tend to have much less fear of death than those who believe in only one life. Even without any belief, reason would tell us that we at our present stage of evolution and scientific research do not quite know with 100 percent certainty as to what happens after Death. Of course, it needs to be mentioned that more recent scientific research in cases of NDE and OBE do point towards the strong possibility of survival of something that continues even after we are declared dead.
Nevertheless, since we do not know what happens after death then why not repose our trust in the Creator or Divine Power and hand over oneself and the departed in His hands with a prayer for a safe onward journey. At least this takes away the sting of death even though the felt loss due to other things attached with the death of a bread winner, for example, still remain. But that is a different issue. It must be tackled through education and teaching women to be increasingly self-reliant. Who knows if the premature death of the bread winner does not actually end awakening an inner strength in the person left behind? Then instead of depending upon someone else one learn to be self-sufficient in every aspect of life. The emotional causes of grief would of course still remain. This is tackled by working through the grief process during which one slowly introjects the beautiful aspects and memories of the person until something of him / her becomes a part and parcel of our being. One can also understand that grief is actually hindering the onward journey of the person and hence it is part of our love to set the departed free to advance further rather than hold them back to one’s heart’s grief. It only makes the departed suffer. The sensory loss is dealt with by creating something tangible like a memorial or album in the memory of the deceased or best taking up his or her unfinished work that most engaged him. Finally there is the mystic way wherein one simply surrenders oneself and the departed and one’s grief all at the Feet of the Divine and let Him take care of everything in His own way.
Of course these are all stop gap solutions. The final solution can only come when we have seen our soul and become one with it. Once we do that then we know we are immortal and that those who have passed away are not lost forever. They are lost to the senses and the surface emotions can no longer feel their body and outer personality but something deep within not only knows that they are there but also can actually assist their passage through the other worlds.
Well one may say that what about those who do not wish to undertake this journey or feel that they cannot. In other words those who wish to remain in their ignorance. Well I am afraid there are no easy solutions to the misery created by ignorance though there are inbuilt mechanisms in nature to help us navigate through this world of pain and suffering by doling out small pleasures and scraps of little joys, most of all the great healer Time whose changing waves change our outer scenes and inner states even while we labour under ignorance.