Mother, I wish to ask, in all confidence, ‘Why did You leave Your body? Had it become necessary? Absolutely unavoidable? Why so? How so?’ My heart longs to know all this, yearns for clarity and satisfaction.
No doubt the heart is rather selfish. The Mother was nice, so sweet, so lovable, the Mother was my world and She is now not there! Why has the Mother gone away, Why did She leave Her body, we are sad, we are forlorn. The heart, therefore, insistently asks, ‘Mother, why did You leave Your body?’
Mother, You were determined to achieve supramentalisation of the physical, the task confidently entrusted to you by Sri Aurobindo. You yearned for an indefinite prolongation of life to achieve this.
You did explain to us that the transformation of the physical, was a tremendous thing, it meant carrying Light to the deepest subconscient and the inconscient, of making the mechanical conscious and intelligent, of eliminating all obscurity and unconsciousness, of becoming all conscious, of fighting the past habits of nature, the so-called established laws of cosmic existence, of conquest over Death. Ah! tremendous!
You also explained that the physical, being inert, is full of subjection, defeatism, sense of impossibility and suffering and that the process of spiritualising it entailed evoking all that suffering, defeat, impossibility, etc. in a heightened form.
You also told us that the body must suitably respond to the Supramental Force You were pulling down on it for its transformation and that if it did not, then it could collapse.
You were also filled with a sense of urgency, as Sri Aurobindo was before his passing, that things needed to be hastened.
But your will, Mother, was indomitable. You were resolved to face all contingencies and achieve the high task, the mission of Your very birth, the assignment from on high.
How did it then happen, Mother, that You left the body or found it necessary to do so, or that it had become contingent to the progress of the work of transformation?
We know full well that You never submitted to suffering, however acute and terrible. Your will for victory was firm and clear in the worst of situations. Your pressure on the inconscient was constant and unflinching and perhaps the body unconsciously submitted to it in its own traditional way through disintegration because it found it impossible to respond to it by way of conscious assimilation of the descending Force.
Was it like that, Mother? How can we know, Mother, unless we know it from You?
Surely all that must have been a deep dent in the inconscient and that means a great gain for farther penetration in the future and the ultimate complete conquest.
We rejoice over it in that way, that a real strong impact on the inconscient has been made which can be a promise and an assurance of farther penetration. But we cannot help thinking that it would have been so nice if the body had responded in a conscious and intelligent manner, assimilated the High Immortal Force and become divinised and rejuvenated.
But Sri Aurobindo and You have taught us a philosophy of spiritual realism and a Yoga which is a systematic procedure of concentrated evolution. A play of possibilities is also a trend ingrained in existence.
Supermind is something inherent in the evolutionary process. But it has to be pursued and achieved and the achievement is a high task with all resistance involved in the material conditions of existence.
Your will for this achievement, Mother, was always clear, firm and full and it is bound to prevail whatever the vicissitudes it may have to face on the way.
Your will and Sri Aurobindo’s will in this connection are our complete assurance and we take your passing as we did Sri Aurobindo’s, under Your guidance, as an incident, a contingency somehow connected with it.
Mother, is it correct? Do You think this orientation is right?
Our query is very keen, insistent and persistent, ‘Mother, why did You leave Your body?’
However, one thing is sure — You are still present around us, within us and we do not feel that You are no more. We turn to You as we used to for the joy of contact and communion, for advice and guidance, for help in difficulty and we find You as ready for contact, guidance and help as ever before. And this is a marvellous experience. But our externalist posture of mind spoils this dealing and intercourse by insisting on the physical form of things.
Mother, let this interference of the physical mind disappear from us and let us enjoy with You a true and an abiding and a full spiritual relationship. And let this query be effectively pacified. Our Mother is there as ever, body or no body makes no difference.
Mother, You are so sweet, so nice. We cherish You always, live for You, do Your will and feel fulfilled.