April 18, 1914 (PM 83)


This prayer is about the way sadhana proceeds sometimes through the inner day and at other times through the night of separation.

April 18, 1914

YESTERDAY evening the last veil was almost rent, the last stronghold of the blind and ignorant personality seemed to be on the point of yielding; for the first time I thought I understood what is true impersonal service, and the obstacle which separated me from the integral realisation appeared to me very fragile, on the point of definitively disappearing. But the necessity of my outer duties tore me out of this beneficent and happy contemplation, and at the moment when I was obliged to return to the outer consciousness, the veil closed again and appears to me darker than ever. Why this fall into the inconscience of the night after so great a light?

O Lord, Lord, wilt Thou not let me escape at last from the ignorance and be one with Thee? Now that I have known and seen so well what must be the work upon the earth, shall I not be able to realise it? Am I then rivetted to the ignorance and illusion?

Why, why this night after so great and pure a light? All my being is strained in an agonising appeal!

O Lord, take pity on me!”


The text above is quoted from the Third Edition, 1954 (translation by Rishabhchand Samsukha)
This book is freely available at https://www.auro-ebooks.com/prayers-and-meditations-1954-edition/

 

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