Longings for The Mother (2): As Thou Willst, As Thou Willst

A series of 15 contemplations, written by Indra Sen shortly after The Mother’s physical withdrawal

‘As Thou willst, As Thou willst’ is the refrain. And it is so rewarding, Mother. It gives a contact with Thee. I feel so peaceful and assured and equal to every call of action. I am clear and sure and move on in life in utter confidence.

‘As Thou willst, As Thou willst’ is as sweet as a song and I sing it again and again. And as I sing it, the heart throbs more joyously and I feel free from all care and anxiety. All calculations, all pros and cons, all this and that, all manipulations of particulars drop and I live in the unconditioned, the limitless, the infinite and the absolute. I am free and large and wide and above all this finite multiplicity and, as it were, a master of it.

‘As Thou willst, As Thou willst’ is a wonderful theme. I contemplate it, I meditate on it and feel transported into another realm, a new horizon high and vast, and feel myself the same. All smallness, all narrowness, all littleness drops off. All competitiveness, all fear disappears. And for the time being, I find myself thrilled and exhilarated.

‘As Thou Willst, As Thou Willst’, Mother, is indeed a will for the Supreme, the Highest and the Uttermost. It is a will for what Sri Aurobindo wills and what the Divine wills. In seeking Thy will, I find I seek Sri Aurobindo’s will as well as the Divine’s will. ‘As Thou willst, as Thou willst’ is a refrain that utterly unifies all higher willing and leaves no disparity or division.

‘As Thou Willst, As Thou Willst’, Mother, is a disciple’s refrain, who knows the Divine in Thee and the human parts do not distract him. The Divine is the Guru and the Guru is the Divine and thus we approach the Guru and the Divine and grow in Divine consciousness.

Mother, grant that we surrender ourselves to Thee utterly, find Thee utterly and live by Thy will utterly.