Is not the innermost being now possessing me?
My inner emptiness is growing into a solid and permanent condition so that nothing can penetrate into me from outside.
Yes, that is what must happen.
O Lord, again I am getting inertia. What am I to do?
Keep yourself separate from the inertia as you do from the wrong vital suggestions, sex, ego, etc.
I see different kinds of flowers as if floating before my eyes. Strange to say, before they are clearly visible to me they themselves announce their significances.
Thus I saw, one after the other, two flowers signifying,
(1) “The physical consciousness turned towards the Light”,
(2) “The peace in the cells”.
It is evidently from what you have written the thing that is happening — the physical consciousness is opening to the spiritual experience.
In action I feel detached and the Mother’s Force working in my place; I find myself above with her at the same time.
All is very good — to live on a higher plane and see the action in the physical from it as something separate is a definite stage in the movement towards transformation.
The mind and vital are simply flooded with the experiences. In the consciousness of the physical also the experiences are beginning, while the background of peace and silence is always maintained.
It is very good, that was what was needed — the settled background of peace and silence as the foundation of an activity of experience.
The stuff of my being has become so quiet that it is difficult for me even to pray!
It is probably that — in order to establish entirely the inmost Silence.
To what heights the Mother is escorting me! She makes me bear with ease her powerful and rapid working.
That is very good.
I am sorry I am unable to describe to you at present all that is happening in me (experiences, realisations etc.).
You will do so hereafter when these things have ripened and can be expressed.
On what a mute ocean do we float! Each day I find the water calmer than before.
It is true that peace and silence can always become deeper and wider and more intense.
Every evening brings a strong voidness — shama. I suppose it is meant as a preparation for my reception of what the Mother brings down during the night Meditation.
The Mother is trying to establish in me a dynamic stillness which could vibrate only to her Knowledge.
This realisation already shows its beginning in my active state.
That is good.
That deeper silence will spontaneously open me to the understanding of the inner experiences and the higher developments by the light of the Knowledge from above. Then there will be no need to write to you so much about my sadhana as now.
Yes, for the most part. But when the experience is of importance for the progress it can be written.
If one wants to cut down one’s troubles to a minimum, one should try to follow the sunlit path, which means “give all and ask nothing”.
Yes, all that is quite true.
The body has such a peace that there is not the slightest stir in it when I soar high above. If the little mental sense were not there it would be a trance!
Trance could not be sufficient — the waking consciousness must be the same.
What greater day can there be than the one when the Mother is accepted even by my lower vital?
Yes, when that has been done, it is one of the biggest steps in the sadhana.
I see a dawning possibility of my silence and work getting fused into each other.
That will surely happen.
Till recently, it was I who used to enter into the Mother’s consciousness and live in it. Now, it seems as if she has begun to come into me and be with me more and more.
It is the next thing that must be perfected.
It seems to me, Lord, that my physical body is opening to the Mother’s experiences. There is nothing to be said about the peace and silence — they appear to be there all the time, but something else happened yesterday. The subconscient inertia arose, and I put the whole of my concentration on it. I felt at the same time that the Mother’s Force was working in the nerves of my left hand. It was a concrete experience.
Another thing. I cannot quite make out why I need to be inactive in order to observe the experiences of the physical. Could one of the reasons be that at present I am doing that part of the sadhana which is concerned with the static side?
Every morning from half past four to half past nine the subnature seems to remain active in a fixed rhythm. It would really be a shame if I allowed its working passively. I try and try to bring down something by long and single-minded concentration, but nothing happens that can change this condition.
One night after the evening Meditation the Mother showed me a dynamic and positive way by awakening the psychic and the self’s fire, but again a more passive state got in and her method was suspended.
I know the time has now come when I must take up seriously the reins of the nature and control it. The old way of remaining as a passive observer should become a matter of the past. But I don’t know how this step could possibly be taken with such an increasing passivity.
The dynamic action when it comes acts without disturbing the silence and peace. There is the vast peace and silence and in that the Force or the Will works to do what is necessary — in that also is the action of Agni or the psychic.
At present what I see as inertia may perhaps be coming from the subliminal consciousness; otherwise how can my physical be reposing in peace and silence in spite of the inertia?
It is evidently in that case the subconscient inertia.
The lower nature tried its best, but in vain, to throw its waves of jealousy on my vital, for the Mother has so reinforced my environmental consciousness with her Peace that nothing foreign to her can penetrate it.
Yes, that is the peace that must be there.