All was revealed there none can here express;
Vision and dream were fables spoken by truth
Or symbols more veridical than fact,
Or were truths enforced by supernatural seals.
(Savitri, Book I, Canto 3, p. 30)
Passing through the Workshop (16.3.1935)
On the 15th instant (at night), I dreamt as follows: There was a huge place where a lot of people were working. The road leading to my destination was very long, but there was a short-cut through the workshop. Hence, I asked the owner of the workshop to allow me to go through his workshop. He told me that there was absolutely no room inside, as a lot of persons were working there and the passage was full of gunny bags etc. It seemed, to be a mere excuse for not letting me in. Finally, in response to my persistent efforts, despite much reluctance, he allowed, me in. He sent a man to accompany me to show the way. After a long walk inside the workshop, we reached its end where there was a secret exit. Facing us there was something looking like a wall which seemed to block the road. Yet, to my utter surprise, a road could be seen, going through two or three walls, one after another. Right then, from across, I saw a woman approaching us, which surprised me as to how the woman could get inside when we could not even see the road. The man accompanying me, hid himself as soon as he saw her. I felt that he wanted to arrest her, so I explained to her through signs in such a way that it would not be noticed by him. So, the woman climbed up a tree and started breaking something, which was disliked by that man and hence he asked me to go back. I requested him to let me go further to which he agreed and asked me to go with him. He led me along a secret passage through a couple of walls and asked me to be seated at a place. I felt that it was his last secret way, so he did not want to show me, and I remained seated there. I thought it to be the last wall as I could hear the noise of people from the other side of the wall and also the movements on the road there. I sat there for a while and when I looked up, I saw a man turning a key. The ceiling which was too huge, got separated into two parts. Slowly, the ceiling began to shake, also the flooring below seemed to be hollow. I felt that it was some mechanical arrangement. What would be my fate if it were to break? This, though, somewhat scared me. Right then, the whole ceiling came down enveloping me like a magic dome leaving no way out for me. I was trapped inside. I found myself in deep trouble and was terribly frightened. This did not last even for a moment and immediately a type of attitude developed in me which may be described in the following words.
I prayed to the Mother and Sri Aurobindo that, “If I am sincere and if I have faith in you, may this collapse.” Immediately, within a moment, with a big sound, a way opened for me. And when I got out, I found myself surrounded by many people, who on seeing me, said, “Wonderful change! Wonderful change!”
It appeared to me that my whole body had undergone some transformation and had become God-like. I experienced enormous tranquillity and ananda. Although I was very calm and steady, I was overjoyed.
What does all this mean?
The workshop is probably a symbol of the activity of the ordinary nature which is so full of formations and activities of the ordinary kind that it is difficult to pass through it to the inner or the inmost being.
The walls with the spaces between indicate the different parts of the being to which the outer mind has no access, — possibly, the inner vital (the woman may be the occult vital nature), emotional etc. The ceiling (yellow) may be the intellect or thinking mind which walls one in and prevents from getting into the open spaces of the higher Consciousness. But through all a way lies to the open way of the higher Consciousness full of peace, light and Ananda.
A Rope of Light (19.3.1935)
The path that I was to follow was very long and arduous, I came across a number of intricate by-lanes which confused me a lot. I could not find my path despite many struggles. Finally, I looked up. I saw the Mother very high up. From there, she sent a rope down for me. After a while, I found that it was not a rope, but white light — it was a luminous, straight road going up. I, then, realized that instead of struggling here and there, I should have looked up, as there is a straight road going right up.
I wrote this dream yesterday, but, it came earlier.
What does it mean?
It is a symbol of the difficult seeking in the mind, vital and physical which one goes through until one looks up to the higher consciousness and follows the way of the Mother’s white light; then the road becomes straight and luminous.
A Fight with the Force of Discontent (22.6.1955)
On the upper portion of some building, the Mother was sitting with some devotees (sadhakas) who were selected by her and who were close to her. I too was sifting there. Everyone was making merry. The Mother was distributing nice things to all.
In the meantime, Purani (Ambubhai) came there. He was not invited, yet he came. He looked very sad, angry and disappointed. He held both my shoulders and started ridiculing me. The Mother did not like this. After a while, I saw that the Mother was not there; after her departure, Purani had also, left. I, at once, got up from my place and went to a room nearby. In that room, I saw something like a platform on which the Mother was standing. There I saw Purani, he was about to attack the Mother. As soon as I saw this, I rushed towards Purani, caught hold of him and brought him down. When I went to catch him, he tried to frighten me by showing something like a knife. Undaunted, I tightly held Purani and took him away. He wounded me, I started bleeding too. I did not bother about this. I was happy, because the victory was mine.
Even after the dream was over, the fight between me and Purani still had its effect on my body.
Does this mean anything?
It was not Purani himself, but a force which took his figure, a force of discontent and dissatisfaction and externalisation from the inner consciousness.
This tried to touch you and hold you after coming in though unwanted into your (and others’) intimate relation within with the Mother. As the Mother disapproved it tried to attack her but your inner being (psychic, inner mind, inner vital) threw itself upon it and pushed it out and continued fighting with it so as to drive it away. The effect on the body means only some difficulty in the external being caused by the adverse force during the fight.
A Carriage Drawn by a Tiger (1.4.1936)
The dream was very long. I am writing below only a small part of it, as I do not remember the entire dream.
I travelled a lot by a carriage drawn by a tiger. Suddenly, the tiger became uncontrollable. I was all alone in the carriage. In spite of all efforts by the driver, the tiger could not be controlled. The carriage abruptly came to a halt in a vast garden. Immediately, I climbed upon the branch of a tree above the carriage. The tiger remained uncontrolled by the driver, he finally cut the reins and released the tiger, who then started moving around freely. He started climbing up the same tree on which I was seated. As soon as he came up, I firmly grabbed his head with both my hands and pushed him back with all my strength. Hence the tiger went back and my eyes opened. Even after waking up, its effect was still there on my body.
Does this have any meaning?
The tiger indicates violent impulses. The carriage probably indicates some part of the vital which is subject to such impulses. Getting into the tree means probably getting into a higher level of consciousness from which it is easier to repulse the tiger.
An Accident at the Pond (20.4.1936)
I wanted to go to that house at 10 p.m. As eight minutes were still to go, I rested myself on the terrace, during which time I saw the following dream.
I saw Dilip running and going towards a pond. He dived in the water there and wanted to show that by an accident he had drowned himself there, but actually he was doing it intentionally and purposefully. On the bank, he had also left a handkerchief and a letter, purposefully, but was trying to give the impression that they had fallen there by chance.
Mother, I would like to know why I saw this? I had absolutely no idea in me about him.
It is evidently one of the formations made by a hostile Force which goes round trying to touch people with thoughts of suicide. Why it should have shown itself to you at that moment in connection with D., is not clear — possibly it just crossed by chance. Anyhow, it has no importance.
The Sun and the Darkness (12.10.1936)
An experience, a few days ago.
After passing several nights, at last, by the time the rays from the sun could reach and awaken me, some evil spirits would come frequently and carry me away into a pitch dark place, finally, in this place, the light from the sun reached me suddenly and I awoke. The demons could not enter this place. My entire body was full of Ananda.
It is the fight of the two consciousnesses — the wrong forces pulling to the dark levels but the touch, of the sun of Truth intervenes with its light and raises where they cannot enter.
The Faith and the Downward Pull (12.10.1936)
There was water all around — difficult to say whether it was a river or a lake or a sea. I saw a man fallen in a place where it was hot possible to swim. That man was not in a position to come out. I had to follow the same route. On seeing the plight of this man, I was not sure as to how I could go. I managed to pull that man out and thought I had saved a life. I asked him, “why did you not call for any help? Would you not have been drowned if I had not pulled you out?” He replied, “I have full faith in God — if He wants to save me, He would surely help.” He said it with such an ardent faith that even an atheist would have had to believe it.
I, then, found a new route. I went along this route. I had to climb a mountain. I do not know what happened to the people who were with me. I kept climbing up the mountain, which looked too high. Finally, I reached a place at a great height, beyond which I could not go as there was no road. There was a deep valley in front of me, and also on sides. I felt as if I had reached the sky. There was somebody behind me who resembled my elder brother (Sunderlal). He held me in a grip and hung one of his legs over the valley. I found it very difficult to balance myself as there was nothing in front of me which I could hold as a support. I told him that this way both of us would fall into the valley. He remained stubborn. I pleaded with him to leave me. When I woke up, I actually felt that I was saved from death.
Does this have any meaning?
The first part of the dream is an experience of the mental-vital plane and indicates the saving power of an absolute faith. The other shows the ascent to the highest levels of the earth-consciousness, but there is still something of the old self and nature clinging and trying to pull downwards; it refuses to let go, but finally it has to fall off and the being can ascend without downward pull or fear of fall into the skies of the higher consciousness above.