Rest and Silence

Give me rest. Mother, give me calm and peaceful rest at Thy feet. I won’t any more go out to play in the world; I am tired of it, Mother, sorely tired.

How I busy myself in vain and useless efforts pretending that I am doing God’s work! I run after name and fame; I strain every nerve in me to attain it, only to find at last that it is a mere empty bubble that cannot stand a pinprick. All the time Thou smilest, Mother, and allowest Thy child to have his play.

I run after the beautiful and the joyful things in the world, I stake my all to attain them and, lo! they recede at my approach; they completely vanish at my touch, and sore disappointment alone lies in wait for me! All the time, Thou smilest, Mother, Thou allowest Thy child to have his way.

No more of it, Mother, I have done with it for good. Allow me now to rest peacefully at Thy feet, absolutely unconcerned about anything that may go on in the world outside. Let me look at Thy beautiful face, let my heart be cheered up by Thy graceful smiles; let me incessantly call Thee “Mother, Mother” simply for the joy of it.

Allow me to drink deep at the fountain of Thy sweetness; allow me to get strength from Thy strength, light from Thy light, life from Thy life. Then Thou mayest send me to do Thy work in the world. Till then, Mother, allow me to have peaceful rest at Thy feet, and in silence grow into Thy divine life.

* * *

What a relief it is to be freed from the restless activity of the mind and the body, and to fall into the stillness of the soul! But all my efforts in this direction have failed again and again. The more I try to still my mind and stop the incessant formations of thoughts and ideas, the more they enter into me and occupy the mind. I try to throw away the movements coming from the universal Prakriti, but they again and again push into me with irresistible force.

I am tired of these restless movements, Mother, and do not know how to get rid of them permanently. I now place my head at Thy feet. Mother, and open myself to Thee, so that Thy deep silence may more and more descend into me. Let Thy silence fall on my thoughts and emotions, on my cravings and desires; let peace descend on my perturbed soul and a deep calm reign all over my being. In that silence Thou wilt descend into me, Mother, and establish Thy rule of ananda in every part of my being.

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