March 3, 1915: On board the Kaga Maru

A Recitation of selected Prayers and Meditations of The Mother (AUDIO)

SOLITUDE, a harsh, intense solitude, and always this strong impression of having been flung headlong into a hell of darkness! Never at any moment of my life, in any circumstances, have I felt myself living in surroundings so entirely opposite to all that I am conscious of as true, so contrary to all that is the essence of my life. Sometimes when the impression and the contrast grow very intense, I cannot prevent my total submission from taking a hue of melancholy, and the calm and mute converse with the Master within is transformed for a moment into an invocation that almost supplicates, “O Lord, what have I done that Thou throwest me thus into the sombre night?” But immediately the aspiration rises, still more ardent, “Spare this being all weakness; suffer it to be the docile and clear-eyed instrument of Thy work, whatever that work may be.”

For the moment the clear perception is missing: never was the future more veiled. So far as the destiny of the individual is concerned, it looks as if we were advancing towards a high and impenetrable wall. As regards the destinies of the nations and of the earth, they appear more clearly. But of them it is futile to speak: the future will clearly reveal them to the eyes of all, even of the most blind.

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