Thou art always with me, Mother, Thou art inside my heart and above my head; if ever I do not feel or realise Thy presence, that is entirely my own fault, due to a still lingering play of the old nature in me.
Thou art not only with me, but Thou art also helping me always to realise Thy presence and by all means trying to draw me towards Thyself. Thou descendest into my mind in the form of luminous truths; Thou descendest into my work in the form of omnipotent will; Thou descendest into my heart, removing all dryness from it, flooding it with the divine joy of Thy love. External Nature, ever renewing its forms of beauty, indicates Thy play of self-manifestation in the universe. The infinite, immutable, silent sky, pervading everything in the world, takes me out of my finite ego and continually reminds me of my highest self, from where I can truly realise Thy divine play. Thy Grace and protection is always with me, Mother, whether I am conscious of it or not.
If Thou hast given me so much, Mother, give me also the integral consciousness, in which I shall be able always to feel Thy presence in me and make my whole life a conscious, constant devotion to Thee.
* * *
Thou art so near to me, my Lord, living in the heart of my heart; yet in my ignorance I think Thee to be so distant, so far away from me!
Thou art with me every moment of my life, standing by me in my joy and my sorrow, in my glory and my shame, in my virtue and my sin; Thou art always supporting me, cheering me, with the utmost care leading me out of misery and darkness to joy and light. Yet in my ignorance I think that I am a helpless mortal wandering alone on the earth; that Thou, my Lord, dost not at all care for me, dost not even think of me.
Thou art seeking my love and homage in infinite ways; Thou appearest before me in various guises in the world and attractest me towards Thee. Whichever way I may turn, Thou always placest Thyself in my front; yet in my ignorance blindfolded I can see Thee nowhere, and live in misery.
Now I do realise that Thou art more near and dear to me than what I regard to be my own self; Thou takest more care of me than ever I can take of myself; in the form of the Divine Mother Thou hast come to me, my Lord, and openly declared Thy love; all my misery has ended, I do now consciously owe Thee as my best beloved.
* * *
Thou art continually working in and through me, Mother; Thou art always pressing upon me from above; yet in my ignorance I think that Thou art far away from me; I fear that Thou art not taking care of Thy child; shut up in my egoism, I do not feel Thy presence and, thus, cannot live in direct and conscious union with Thee, though Thou art always with me.
When I feel great joy in my work, it is the expression of Thy will through me. When my whole being becomes filled with gladness, it is the touch of Thy love on me. When my darkness is dispelled by inner illumination, it is the appearance of Thy light in me. Yet I think that all these are only movements of my egoistic self; thus, I cannot live in direct and conscious union with Thee, Mother, though Thou art always working in me. When I fall into error and yield to the suggestions of falsehood, when movements from the outside world move and disturb me, when my defects and imperfections rise up in magnified forms, it is only the result of the spirit of perfection working in me. Yet I fear that Thou art not taking care of me, Mother; thus, I cannot live in conscious union with Thee, Mother, though Thou art always pressing upon me from above.
Remove this egoism and ignorance from me, Mother, let me tear away the veil that separates me from Thyself; let me feel Thy touch in all my movements, at every moment of my life; let me constantly live in Yoga with Thee, Mother, who art guiding my whole life, seated within the heart of my heart.
* * *
Often I find Thee, Mother, more inside myself than outside; Thou enterest into me with all Thy majesty and grace filling me with Thy power and light and joy. It is then that my union with Thee becomes most intimate and Thou seemest to mingle with every part of my being.
This most happy state is to be made lasting and permanent; but the rushing out of my mind and the senses towards the external life is still a great obstacle and interruption. When I can withdraw myself from the outer consciousness and turn to the silent, sakshi Purusha that is in me, when I find my real self to be delightful in its self-existence, wanting nothing, desiring nothing, then the disturbances of the lower life cease in me or appear to be quite outside myself; and established in the peace and the purity of the inner self, I can fully open my individual nature to Thee, Mother, and intimately receive Thee within me.
As Thy light dawns in me, my consciousness becomes more and more pure and peaceful and clear, and I am ceaselessly aspiring to the condition when I shall get Thee permanently inside myself, completely mingling with and transforming every part of my being.
